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Any advice?? End of my tether! Coke problem!

Hi so I been on packet for about 2 half years started off as a weekend thing my girlfriend at the time where messy people so when ever we went round to see them would end up getting on it and wasting the weekend really coke wasn't that big of a deal back then was more mdma, ketamin, acid, 2ci 2cb just sort of a bit of fun but over time I give up on everything else and just carried on with packet and my girl friend at the time was the same I think I wanted it more but when I suggested it she would be on board straight away... So the ex Mrs was a heavy cocaine user a few years back like 3.5k in 3 months up her nose and it got to a point when she was telling me I needed to stop and calm down and yeah that didn't happen I just used to get it without her and do lines in the bathroom needless to say that relationship ended and I think it was a serious factor, after that I carried on doing at least 1\2 gram a night sometime 1.5-2 grams it got to a point where I was at work and had a kind of melt down can't explain it but I literally text my friend saying I need help and I don't know what to do and stuff sobbing all that proper mess.... Any who lost that job cos I kept being late again think the habbit had a part to play..   So after my mini breakdown I decided enough was enough and wouldn't do it anymore i lasted about 10 days.... I can go a few day maybe a week but I can't get off it and is really getting to me I don't want to go to a Dr cos I just don't trust them at all but worse thing is tonight a got 3... 1.5g and half way through second one I thought I was guna be sick... Happens now and again.. And It wasnt happening something was at the top of my throat but not quite in my mouth, couldn't breathe started to panic so tried swallowing it and its almost like its a flap of skin off my throat or something is right at the back I looked in the mirror and it don't look right! Not many people know about this and Tbh I am ashamed but I just can't help myself it's weird I think it does nothing for me I'm wasting money blah blah then I'm like right go get some!! I don't know what's wrong with me but I need some advice or something please I'm not going to a Dr or Jeremy kyle either I want to beat this on my own with know one knowing! Well apart from a couple of friends that knew I sniffed but when I quit last time after the episode they think I haven't had any since then....
7 Responses
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13565897 tn?1430515982
Well Brother welcome! been there done that an your addiction was similar to mine not a big deal if you did not do it for a while but always in the back of your mind?? well I've been clean for 20 years ( off Coke) and come payday I still think of that 8 ball... it was SUPER hard to quit because many of my friends always seemed to have it then I lost my job on a dirty test at the worst time in my line of work so I sold what I had to in order to pay the bills and I had to stop hanging out with the supply and that sucked which gets me to the point.  if you think that you can go days with no issues than you have a good shot at coming clean with little or no WD the only thing will be the TRIGGER that thing that sparks the urge to use?? that will be the hard part if its drinking a clubs you'll have to give that up during your recovery if its dirty houses stay in clean ones you get the idea but if the fact is you have cravings all day every day that's a big deal and beating it will be tough but totally doable at home but you will need some support so let us know whats up can you ditch your supply and how bad is the urge to use? Best wishes
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dude, your uvula is very inflamed, almost looks like a tumor. Your throat looks like a mess. I would get to an ENT asap because I think your airway may close up from all the swelling. Go to the doctor man you're killing yourself. And don't do any more coke!
Helpful - 0
4522800 tn?1470325834
I agree with all the above..
I too WAS a user of it all for over 40 yrs off & on. (NOT proud to say this at all)..NOW days you do NOT know what it is cut with..Many BAD-BAD things they add to make it stretch out and get more for the money!!! The snorting will do so much damage to the nose hairs all the way to the sinus and so forth.

You have a Addiction issues that needs to be worked on. Try hitting some NA/AA meetings too. Most everyone at all the meetings I go to, came off of the Crank/Coke. I had no w/ds from that stuff or any other drugs until I got hooked on the opiates. It was being prescribed Methadone (for pain) that got me really hooked and out of control. Would NOT be here and clean for days away from 3 yrs, if it was not for the Support I get from Here, Meetings and Church. You have to stay away from your old stomping grounds and no more playing with friends who use. You will learn all about Triggers and Behaviors if you hit those meetings or get some kind of Addiction Support. Look up Addiction in a more Scientific way. You will find out what you are doing to the BRAIN let alone the Body Parts.
I do wish you the best and hope you come back!
Bless
Helpful - 0
3060903 tn?1398565123
Clean and sober since july '99.  Other than Hepc i'm a new person. Got rid of using friends, can see them in heaven,

had to quit having money in my pocket for two years, and went the long way around triggers, quit everything for two years, Used blood/urine testing myself to help me keep focused. Hung with someone clean from AA and then married him. Now we're both survivors who quit on the same day back in 99. He relapsed and we had already planned that if anyone did it was not a 30 day program but a 90 day program. He had to go for 90 days, but has been clean since. You can stop this. It's time. You're body is falling apart. One thing I'd like to add is this. Been there and done that, to me means i know that i'm never going to be able to get that high i used to get, i already got my fair share of the high life and don't miss it a bit. Now, i' love to grow things in my garden and i mostly love being a good role model for my son. But even if I didn't have my son, there's way too much of the good life out here , that you can' t get while dabbling with the devil's ****.

Ask any addict , they'll tell you they don't miss the ****. one bit. Every once in a while it comes up in my mind, and i know i've done my time, it's over it's not worth going back to that. I'm so happy to be clean. So can you too really feel this way,  But, you might need to open yourself up to the 12 step program as I had to do for a couple of years. It saved my life, i've got nothing bad to say about it, I didn't have to go to NA for the rest of my life, just had to get involved for a couple of years. A small price to pay for your FREEDOM!!!!!! Imagine, FREEDOM FROM THE CRAVING. I watch Intervention and sometimes have to turn the channel. That's how i deal with my cravings. I just turn the channel. That says it all for me.

what time is it? is is your time?
Helpful - 0
3060903 tn?1398565123
I just looked at your throat, have you had your tonsils out ? You have gots to break your own rule buddy and get to a doctor to have this checked out. Please?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi:

I have to echo what my other pals here have said...you need to get looked at by a doctor asap.

Don't do cocaine; it is SO hard on your body, especially your cardiovascular system.   So many of my rock 'n roll heroes from the 60's and 70's are dropping like flies of heart attacks now because of all the coke they did in their 20's and 30's.  

I have a friend who is in his fifties.  Did lots of coke in college, then stopped when he got a job.   Works out every day, eats clean, etc.  Ended up almost dying from 2 100% blocked arteries and now has stents.  

It's a bad drug; if you want to stay off it, and yet you still go back, then you have an addiction.   It's pretty much impossible to "will-power" your way out.   You should look at going to NA, AA...there used to be CA (Cocaine Anonymous) but I don't know if that group is still around.

But please...get your throat looked at and SOON.  You can't afford anymore swelling/inflammation or you're going to end up choking to death...

Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey guys thanks for the reply.... I have cut down alot but still trying to give it up completely.... The reason I won't gontonthe doctor or anything like that is because I don't bwant there to be any record of it.... I'm trying to get a job on the railway and I'm scared that if they look into my medical history and see that it would prevent me from ever getting the job also my current partners mum is a nurse for the NHS and I know is silly but don't want her to have a look too and see it.... Is for my Throat/ uvula  in didn't go to the Dr but i did stay up all night because if I laid a certain way it would move and block my air.... But I drank plenty of water and took some anti inflammatory and was back to normal by 3-4pm next day... And no I have not had my tonsils out... Why do you ask?
Helpful - 0
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