Been a while....

[bucksfan]

Hey Everyone, it has been a while since I last posted. I wanted to give everyone an update on what has transpired over that time. As I left off, I slipped up after 30 or so days clean but it didnt last! Against my belief, I decided to try suboxin since I couldnt stop making excuses to use. In the last (5) months I attempted to use suboxin periodically, not continually, as a craving fighter or something to satisfy those urges. Well, as we all know, suboxin is addictive and that occassional use turned into every day. After researching for many days and hearing the horror stories of sub WD I panicked and decided it was time to quit. I got 8 tramadol 50mg and did a taper. The very first day I felt uncomfortable and very exhuasted. I didnt sleep well at all. on the 4th day I took 50 mg of tramadol and then jumped off. I am now 6 days off subs and (2 days off fast tramadol taper) and finally have a good support system with a sober friend who is going to be my rock. He has been through a program and works it everyday. Even though last time I told the person who meant most to me, she could not help me through this because she has never exp addiction. I apologize for being out of touch for so long but work has been crazy, which is good and plus I was embarrased that I had to result to suboxin, especially, the last two months with the everyday use. I will say that it feels so different this time because its been so long since I took an oxy or lortab or percocet that the cravings are not there yet, I feel like I am learning how to handle everyday life without use and looking forward to a clean life. The only thing I feel right now is stomach issues and trouble sleeping but I am so blessed that is all I feel. I hope you all are not disappointed because at first I was. I vowed to never replace a drug for another and that is exactly what I did! On a good note, its been 5 months or so since I last used my DOC!

[gnarly_1]

hey great to see you post....sub works and yes it can be ruff to come off of but it kept you from your DOC it may take a wile to really feel the side effects of stoping a lot of people dont really feel it for a few days due to the long 1/2 life of sub just know the withdrawals will pass as long as you get all of the crap out of your system no cheating you got to be narcotic free for this to work ...get pluged into aftercare and work it....being sober can be tuff but its so so worth it good luck with your recovery and God bless......Gnarly

[FassFeat]

Man it is good to see you back. No one is dissapointed, it is your journey and you are finding your own way. You have the right mentality to do this. You joined MH about the same time I did.. so glad you are back. Andrew

[dominosarah]

I really dont have a pot to pee in but this is the happiest i have ever been.  Material things dont matter to me anymore, i matter and that is what is important~~Keep working it!!

[bucksfan]

Yea, I am working a program. I actually started while I was still on suboxin, not sure if that is hypocritical? Just today I had to send off taxes and got hit with two major expenses. Usually, thats a trigger to use because I get depressed or stressed but I now practice what I preach. Success is not how much money we have but instead by the way we live our life, bonds we build and positive impacts we make on other people. After not using my DOC in 5 months or so, not even a craving! I hate to say suboxin was a good thing but I am not sure I could have gone 5 months clean without since I didnt start the program or hook up with my friend until recently.

[dominosarah]

Hi bucksfan, nice to see you posting.  Noone is disappointed in you.  So are you going to be working a program now?  I am glad you have a sober friend in the mix now.  Hold your clean time sacred cuz without it the road isnt very pleasant.  Stick around!!          sara