Hi, I found this site and read and read for about 2 days before joining. I was looking for answers to questions that may never get answered, but I thought I'd give it a shot.
I'm a 45 yr. old homemaker, wife of a wonderful hard working husband and I have 1 son who is the love of my life. My son is 16. When I was 33yrs. old I lost my first husband to a sudden heart attack, he was my son's father. A few years passed and I was having a lot of pain through out my whole body, lower back, etc...I went to my family Dr. and after a few months and lot's of tests and MRI's he finally said that I had Fibromyalgia and also 2 herniated discs in my lower back. He gave me Lorcet, then Lortab, and I was taking them as prescribed. After a few years, I was getting concerned about what the acetamynaphin was doing to my liver & kidneys, so he told me about Oxycontin. He started me on 80mg tabs.2 in the morn. and 2 in the evening. Back then (in like '98 or '99)they were suppose to work for 12 hrs. Well a few years went by and of course the 4 80mgs was'nt cutting it, so he upped my dosage to 3 80's in am and 3 80's in pm with roxicodone in between for breakthru pain. Now the time line is up to about 4 years of me being on this medicine.
My family Dr. moved, but not before helping me find another Dr. to take over my treatment. I was evaluated by a pain clinic and with their evaluation they told me I could either continue to go to them or I could go to a Dr. closer to my home. Of course I chose the later, it meant I did'nt have to drive as far. So I started going to a Dr. who took over my care. The Dr. was female and seemed very compassionate. She would tell me every once in while that my dosage was really high and that taking 6 80mg.s of oxycontin and 4 roxicodone (for breakthru) was'nt good. So I said, "how about I cut out the roxicodone then" and she said "that's fine, but I don't think your pain would be very tolerable, so I'll up your oxycontin to 4 80mgs in the am and 4 80mgs in the pm. Well, she's the dr. right? (in a sarcastic tone)
At this point, I've been on oxycontin for over 5 years. I continued with the same Dr. until 2007. She left the practice and I was handed over to another Dr. (female) who was nice, but was'nt comfortable giving me such a high dosage of this medicine also. Every time I would go to see her, which was about every 3 months, she would give me my scripts but at the same time, she would tell me that "I really don't feel comfortable writing for this amount of narcotic" and so on.
I know what she was saying, but if it bothered her so much, why did'nt she say, "listen, we have to cut you back on these" or something to that affect, But nothing. Believe me, so many times I would think about this horrible situation, and I say that because it is horrible. It's horrible because it ***** when you finally get comfortable with a Dr. and they leave the practice. Then you have to hope and pray someone else is going to help you, and then you start thinking, "Are they really helping me?"
So now the time line is NOW:
I've been on 8 80mg. oxycontin for well over 6-7 years and I know everyone is probably thinking, "Dam, this woman must be so zonked out all the time", but believe it or not, I never got plastered on them. I'm totally functionable and actually volunteer at an animal shelter part-time and am active in my son's school and other community activities.
I went for my quarterly visit to my Dr. last week and found out that she will leaving in the fall. So we talked for a while and she said I could either go to the pain clinic, or try to find another Dr. that will prescribe this amount which will be very difficult. I don't want to go to the pain clinic and finding another Dr. is going to be a task in itself. We both decided to start weaning me off of the oxy's. She figured if I take 40mgs. less for 2 weeks and so on and so on, that maybe I can do it on my own from home.
Does anyone think this is possible? I know there are a lot of different types of addiction/dependence and I know that everyone is different, but is there anyone out there that has gone thru anything like this before?
The last question I have is, What am I suppose to do for pain if I do get thru this and am able to cut down, I know my pain receptors are so damaged that God only knows what a minor cut on my finger would feel like?
I'm really nervous, but I'm not ashamed of myself. I did'nt wake up one day and say, "wow, I think I'll go to the Dr.'s so I can become dependent on narcotics".
So there it is. Any thoughts on my situation?.
Oh, by the way, I really don't want to go on anything else. If I am able to cut down to a lower dose, then that's great, if not, I'm not going to substitute one problem with another by going on suboxine or the "M", I don't even want to think about that, I know it has helped a lot of people, but I just don't want to do that if I don't absolutely have to.
Thanks for reading this long post.
Take care, All of you and thank you.
Much love and respect