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1032715 tn?1315984234

Being Alone

I'm 57 days clean from alcohol and codeine,My biggest supporter my husband and my son are going away for 10 days this will be the first time I'll be on my own.I'm nervous that being on my own for that long I might slip up,Anyone with ideas on how to make sure I stay true to myself I know it will be so easy to an idiot.

     Denise
18 Responses
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1032715 tn?1315984234
I'm glad that you are now OK.I'll admit last night was weird but I felt so good after I'm not worried about being on my own now,I have focus again and I know I won't touch anything .
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Avatar universal
HOPE!  Reading all these responses give me hope and understanding.  Isn't God awesome.  Ephesian 6....put on the armour.
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Avatar universal
I accidentally OD'd to the point of life support and a ventilator with induced coma.......I was discharged from the Hospital on Saturday and thought it only appropriate that I attend Church Sunday. This was not planned at all - - but the Sermon was on Lazarus and being raised from the dead..............And while in the ER being worked on I had a for real near death / out of body experience.
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Avatar universal
Seems like alot of us suffer anxiety and panic attacks.I hope one day it ends for all of us. I'm glad you got your focus back. You can get through it. Right now my anxiety is so bad that there's no way I would attempt to be alone for 10 days, so you're doing great! Good luck to you!!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Wow Narla, sounds like you have a ton of support here.  I too had the same challenge or similar before Thanksgiving.  I too suffer from anxiety that will not allow me to attend group meetings.  I did not reach out here personally but kept on this website for support in general and also went to Church for prayer.  I kept myself very busy with home projects and felt even a huger milestone when 14 days went by and I stayed sober.  I felt I had my life back again.  Good luck and I can hear in your heart that you are gonna be fine!
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1032715 tn?1315984234

Now I feel I am answerable to a higher power and I will not let him or myself down,This sobriety is forever,My focus is back, I know I can and will do it.

    Thank You for your reply  Denise
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Avatar universal
funny how God can make sermons in a packed church just for you!! I too started church a few years ago, and the very first time I went it was about addiction. No one picked that sermon, or took me to it..... except the Lord. He will see into you, and help you thru any rough patches. Just dont be to proud to lean on Him!! also, remember that only YOU can make the choice to stay clean those 10 days, no one else. there is no passing the buck on this one. Not even in your own head. If you use, it will be because YOU chose to use. so dont let yourself down, stay strong and focused and remember why you CHOSE to get clean in the first place. mad props on letting God back into your life!!
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1032715 tn?1315984234
I went to church with my son tonight,they had a guest speaker doing the sermon,it was all about overcoming addictions and allowing God into your heart to help with the fight,about how in life we get bruised as he put it and that God is always there to help if you let him in.I ended up in tears and I said to my son did you know what this sermon was going to be about,he swore he had no idea.I now feel this was God talking to me.I've been to church with my son before but never before was the sermon so personal.I feel this is my time to turn back to Christianity.Now with Gods help I will get through the 10 days my husband won't be here.

Thank You for everyones input,  Denise
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Avatar universal
i too suffer from GAD panick attacks, You are not alone. You can come on here at any time PM message me. I will be here and help you get thru this difficult time for you. Sometmes it is easiee said then done to do what works for others. All the suggestions above are great coping skills, but maybe you and I can sit and think of some things to help you in your current situation and maybe i can shed some more light in addition to everyone elses suggestion since we suffer from the same thing.
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1032715 tn?1315984234
I won't go to AA or NA because I also suffer anxiety and panic attacks,I also have trust issues due to childhood abuse.As far as the gym I already do 8 x 1hr sessions in 5 days,My parents are part of my childhood abuse and mums dead anyway,my friends work and have their own life I wouldn't even ask..And I hate housework,I am not being difficult these are issues,I think I'll just sit at the computer 24/7 and hope at my worst someones there to chat to.I do have my counsellors mobile No: he has told me to ring day or night if I need him I just don't like to bother people.  
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Avatar universal
Congratulations! You've come so far, you have a lot to be proud of. :) How about you just not stay home? Can you go stay with your mom and dad or a friend? Fill up your days so you don't even have a chance to think about slipping up. Heck give indoor rock climbing a shot, just for kicks. Sign up at your local gym, learn a new sport or learn how to knit scarfs or play bridge. Paint the living room, start your Christmas shopping, giveaway clothes that you no longer wear, get the oil changed, help your neighbor clean up the leaves in their yard, dust, clean windows, do laundry, iron, cook and freeze dinners for future use, make jam.....desperate times call for desperate measures. :) I wish you were close, you could hang out with me...we could makes smores til the sun came up if we had to! Have faith, you ARE strong.
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662972 tn?1270166301
Try some meeting na aa anything help you be with ppl that support you and understand what your going through. HAve friends that support you that are good be around. When you are at home alone come on here or sites take your mind off things. How about your parents? Stay busy and keep mind off them I know easier said than done. Best of luck and remember we are here for support. God Bless and he will help you thru this.
Holliee
Helpful - 0
52704 tn?1387020797
MY advice:  Start going to AA.  Get phone numbers of other women and find a woman with some sober time to be your temporary sponser.  Go to at least one meeting a day while they're gone . . . actually, going to a meeting a day for the first 90 days is a good idea for anyone who wants to land in sustained recovery.  

This is not about being strong or proving that you can do it.  It's about staying safe from a disease that will kill you . . . after it takes down everyone and everything you care about.  

CATUF
1600
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488766 tn?1306105169
I think maybe calling a friend or another family member to keep you accountable while your husband is away. I think this is a very big test for you and I would put as many "safe barriers" as you can.
I`m not the smartest tool in the shed but I think those thoughts may only get louder, just think they are directly from the enemy who wants you to fail.
57 days is awesome and you do not want to go through that again. I don`t know how many people around you know what you have been through but I would contact the ones that know and tell them about the next ten days.
You have come a long way and Please use all your resources you can to stay clean. Your family is totally worth it. Stay Strong  Brad
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Avatar universal
I understand that you are frightened. Pay attention to that. I believe it is so easy to use again since it is totally irrational and impulsive behavior. I think you need to really structure your 10 days. Possibly have some project to carry you through and engage your mind. It is all the self talk that gets us in trouble. Arrange to meet people. Get out of the house. If you are like me it is the alone time in house that is the biggest threat.

Of course keep posting. The problem with that is the time lag for an answer.So you need an emergency plan. Like "as soon as I really start picturing who good it would feel to use I call_____. or go jogging. or eat a steak. (ice cream?) etc."

I just kept reading and keep reading and reading and reading the posts.

Good luck! You've done wonderfully! Keep in touch. Remember everything passes.
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1032715 tn?1315984234
You know what's scary I'm already telling myself if I stuff up I can blame someone else, I've got to stop these thoughts, my mind is filled with scenarios about what might happen.
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271792 tn?1334979657
Hun, if you are depending on your family to keep you clean then every time they leave the house you are in jeopardy.

If you have not engaged in any type of aftercare I have to suggest that you do so now. If you don't get to the core of the problem, the cycle will continue. there is a difference in "being clean" and "being in recovery".

57 days is huge and I would love to hear that you go forward from here. Please find support outside of your family.


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990521 tn?1311906308
Hi Denise - sorry that I missed you today.  I was traveling all day today and came home from Chicago sick - don't know if I have a flu or just a bad cold.  It stinks traveling sick.  

Keep doing exactly what you have been doing and you will not have any trouble staying sober.  Keep reaching out to all of your friends on this site and keep posting, I know that you can do it.  You have done so well, nearly two months!  That's awesome.  Take the alone time to get in touch with yourself more.  Pamper yourself, do something special.  I will do my best to connect with you tomorrow.

Take Care,

S
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