missing gabs

[infidelitybumm]

ive been really cool with my dad since last night we've been talking about religion and life and music everything, my mom has a lot of pills that I like..hydrocodone , lorazepam, Neurontin, tenazepam, energy suppressant pills...believe it or not i convinced my doc to prescribe me all the same meds except the tenaz....the problem is I always always always run out before my refills..my ma gets like quadruple the dose that I do...my dad locked all her pills in a safe because my mom has overdosed like 3 serious times, so he takes the keys to the safe EVERYWHERE he goes.. when im out of my meds and no ones home and that box (the safe) is just looking at me and calling me like gravitating me to it like ive lost all self control and integrity..i broke apart a pair of tweezers and figured out how to pick the lock....I took almost half the bottle of gabs...I only have four left...I took the rest and im high as **** but its cool like im not trippin too bad no one can tell im hi I even talk better and have better conversations, its like they bring out the smartness in me, and that's part of the reason ive been able to get so close to my parents like were super cool right now....today, like an hour ago my dad realized he left the keys to the safe in full sight on the dresser..my ma was taking a nap and I was braiding her hair..i didn't know they were there and didnt really care cuz I know how to get in anyway...so he was like already assuming my ma or I had gotten into the box....he counted the gabs and like there is suppose to be 90 but there was only 32 left.. he was blaming my ma and me but we both were like wtf are you talking about like we just denied everything...I don't know if my dad OR ma would imagine I took them.. eventually the blame was on my ma..so my dad is  tearing up the house looking for the gabs my "mom" stashed away, but I took them.. and there is only four left in my pocket im going to take them right now so that there is no evidence...aaaand the evidence is gone... do I feel like ****? YES...am I a sneaky lying bum? YES...do I regret it?....no...because I feel like I'm on top of the world with these Gabapentin and ive gotten so many important things done today....I want to come clean with my dad I really don't though..whats the point because ill just destroy the good atmosphere that took so long to create, growing up my dad and have always bumped heads but now that im older we get along way better, he gives me rides, he prays with me (and my ma) reads us the bible. HES MY DAD and he loves me so much....I cant tell him...I won t tell him...ive lost all integrity ..and I know this isn't the last time, it wasn't the first..i have a major problem..im on my way to hell..man I wanna feel bad but the gabs got me so high..im sorry I wasted your time but if you read that then you are the only other person in the world that knows this

[infidelitybumm]

I did it I told him I know how to get into the box, he was mad but I didn't expect anything less.. I don't want to be dependent on these demon pills anymore...its going to be hard tho withdrawing and working but I have no other choice..i made an appointment with my doc tomorrow, the original plan was to tell him everything but now im scared what if he calls the cops...I need him to know that im abusing pills so he doesn't prescribe them to me anymore..ive gone about 4 days without gabs and im fine but ive been taking about 4-8 Vicodin a day for a month now (my moms supply) ive withdrew before by slowly decreasing the dose with my moms help but I wasn't working then and it was hell..the depression never went away that's why I relapsed.. I heard you can get something to help with the withdraws but ive also heard it was easy to get hooked on those as well..thank you guys for the support.

[msdelight]

Hi there. Honey if you want to be close and happy with your parents, you need to tell the truth. You can't let your mom take the blame.  That's terrible sweeheart. I know its scary, but in the long run its the only way. You and mom need treatment. Love is love, and after all is said and done, you will all be closer as a family, and you'll both be alive.  Fess up, face the music and get some face to face help at an NA meeting. It doesn't have to be like this.

[Krissy_123]

Hey,I was thinking of you tonight. I hope you're ok and you had a talk with your dad. God loves you,your parents love you no you're not going to go to helll. Your helll Hun will be living every day with the addiction and the lies crushing you. I hope you come back and I hope you're getting help. I'm praying for you!! xox