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Avatar universal

Can a former addict ever go back to using recreationally?

Hey,
Im turning 21 in a few weeks and coming into a trust fund.  This is quite a bit of money and I fear that I will end up quitting my methadone maintainence program and get back into using oxys and other opioids heavily.  Does anyone out there think I can go back to using maybe once or twice a week but not get a full blown habit going again?  I know this question may sound stupid, Im just wondering though because some people claim that after they get their addiction under controll they can use once in awhile and be ok.  As all addicts do, I crave that high so bad.  It's like an old friend I havn't seen in months..
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536882 tn?1225512859
Well your relapse has already begun my friend.  Its happening right now.  Thinking that you will be able to control your use is an addicts mind hard at work.  You'd better get to at least a meeting a day, and share your story.  I'm sure there are hundreds of people that will approach you and tell you how they went back out thinking they could control it.  Chances are, you'll never return.  An endless supply of money, and an endless invitation to drug use.  Who can control that?  And why would you even want to consider it?  How bad was your addiction when you entered methadone maintainence?  You find that within a week of 'controlled use' you will be at double of what you were using before.  And that high you crave?,  You'll never reach it again.  You will always be chasing it.  It just isnt worth it.  I've never heard of someone going back out and using 'recreationally'.  Addicts are incapable of that.  I'd find a nice investment to put your money in.  Something you can't touch for several years, otherwise it'll be gone in the blink of an eye.

Double up on your aftercare program right now!!  And, i'm really glad you came here and posted your question.  That's exactly what you should do!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
hey there, wannabefree is right!!!  why do you miss it so bad and why do you want it so bad. there is a better way to spend your money. i was clean for a almost a year an thought like you are now, and truley for about 4 months did what you said just got some here and there and thought "i can control this" but dang did it flip on me and i was soooo much worse then i was before. this time i am trying to see why i miss it so much and why i cant deal with my feelings all by little old me. everyone goes through rough patches and wants it to go away as fast as we can but numbing just prolongs it. also my father who is a recoving alcholic is so right and says sooo many addicts relapse when life is good and we think "oh i am good, i can do it again for fun" but it dont work that way for us we will go back into are old hole it is not funny. hang in there, not sure how long you have been clean or how long you used but going back is not the anwser. hope this helps some
beck
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Avatar universal
i have a story to tell you, and this is a true story...
first i have spent a lifetime going from one prescription med to another, until now i am addicted to so much garbage, that i have begun the long drawn out withdrawal process...
it is and will probably be my worst nightmare, but it must be done...
next, let me be right up front with you, i am an evangelical christian, so that you can try to keep a perspective on what i am going to tell you...  remember, this is a true story...
at 1:30am i wake up on a date i can't remember, and take my bible, pillow, and blanket out to my living room, thinking i'll try to get some sleep there...
our cat has other ideas, and from 1:30 to 4:50am he's walking, jumping, running all over me...  no sleep that night, so i decide to read my bible for awhile, and it's a devotional bible...
i open it up, and there is a devotional about a girl named "shirley" and her life, and as i read this, i think to myself, this should have my name on it, because it mirrors my life...
after i read it, i close my bible, and start thinking back over how it was when i was young, one of eight kids, dirt poor, always hungry...
then a voice says to me, "i know all about your life", and a total sense of peace comes upon me and i fall into a deep sleep...
at 6:00am my husband gets up and we have coffee...  but a voice again says, "do not drink the coffee"...  i find this strange, take a couple of sips, then go into my bedroom to read my bible...
at 7:00am, a voice says to me "get yourself cleaned up", and so i do...
then at 8:00am i go into our computer room where i see my next door neighbor and her daughter outside waiting for her daughter's bus.  i open the window and call out hi, but the neighbor doesn't hear me.  this person has been on methadone for 7 years, and is totally messed up...
i decide to walk over and say hi to her.  we talk for a few minutes, i see her daughters bus coming down the road, so i leave and go home...
after the bus picks her up, my neighbor gets in her car, and leaves, but returns shortly...
when i see that she is home, a voice again says to me, "invite her over for coffee"...
i go to her house, invite her over, but she is one excuse after another, one lie after another, and then she says, for me to come to her house...
i go home, make my decaf coffee, grab some yogurt and go to her house...
i'm on her couch, she's in a recliner eating junk food, and then starts crying, saying she doesn't want to leave her daughter without a mother...
i tell her, get off the meth, stop eating junk food, and pull her life together...
as i am telling her this, her eyes start to roll up into the back of her head, and i know she must be doing something more than meth...  but, she comes back within seconds...
now she is in her kitchen, she is a christian and been away from the lord for 7 years, and she is afraid he will reject her...
i reassure her about the love of the lord, and his forgiveness, and as she is sitting at her kitchen table, her eyes again start to roll up into the back of her head...
now, a voice says to me, "pray for her", but she comes right back to, and now is back in her livingroom...
i go and sit in front of her, grab her bible, and tell her i need to pray for her...
i hold her hands and begin praying, and suddenly, her hands starts slipping away from mine, her body falling back into her chair and her eyes rolling up into her head...
now, i know she has overdosed on something, and i have to do something, but as i get up, she comes right back to reality...
i did the wrong thing, i told her to get some sleep and left...
two days later, i went back and decided i needed to confront her about what she is doing...
now, i never knew what drug she took to get her onto meth, but the other day she names it, and is back on it...
everything i tell her i witnessed, what she told me, she totally denied, telling me i was crazy, and we went back and forth until i realized, that no way was she going to face reality...
i left telling her, i was sent with a message the other day, get your life together, get off the drugs, or you will be leaving your daughter without a mother...
here's my point...  don't ever kid yourself into thinking you can casually control any drug!  drugs control you, they take over your mind, your body, your life...
you have a chance to change your life.   you are getting a great deal of money...  don't think that you are just so lucky, you are blessed by the lord...
don't blow this blessing...
whenever i tell people that i am a christian, whenever i bring the lord into the coversation, i usually don't hear from them, so i probably won't hear from you...
but, that won't stop me from saying this...
i have put you on my prayer list, and i will pray that the lord gives you strength, courage, clarity of mind and the knowledge of how and what you need to do to have a good life...
god bless
          
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
if you are truly fearing that you will get back into oxy's and such now and thinking that you can use once in awhile then your already in some trouble. i have talked myself into relapses exactly like what you said in this post, but for me, every relapse i used more and more and more. this was a stupid question, but a question every single one of us here has asked, thinking we were strong enough to use every once in awhile, but it does not happen that way. stick around here for some support, you don't want this, we all crave the high, but it's not worth it. make the right choice and spend that money on something that will not kill you. best of luck to ya and stay strong. there are better things in life to get high off of besides drugs
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I agree with everything above said and I want to throw in when I began using waaaayyyy back the 1st time for medical reasons....then realized I liked it...then did it recreationally on occassion....then more...then more.... then would go a long time w/o any.... then some more...more...along time w/none..etc.... then BOOM one day I was full blown addict before I even knew it! Yes, I have legit true pain issues. Due to my addiction I just have to work around those issues.

I hope you have come back to read these responses and really take them to heart and don't even try it! Frankly....I would love to hear you post and respond and say... I read these and I am thinking (insert your thoughts here)

JoAnn
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352798 tn?1399298154
The answer is OMG NO! What do you think recreational use is? That is a form of addiction. Using drugs other than the intended use is addictive behavior.
I highly encourage you to join NA or AA and get some counseling before you see the trust fund. Also look into amino acids and vitamins and supplements. Our body's chemistry gets out of whack and we need mega doses for a while to get the nutrition we need.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
So how much is your trust fund and will you get one regularly cause lets say the 1st one is a zillion dollars,,you"ll need another one when the 1st is gone and it will be gone. You maybe can use once you become a "former addict" but I dont know any "former" addicts. Worrying about leaving a meth program to use makes me think that your not doing anything to not use street drugs other then useing meth.which is still a drug thats supposed to be used along with aftercare. Take everyones advice and you"ll have a chance to do something constructive with your money rather then buying your dealer a new home. gl
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
This is so scary but I know someone who came into a lot of money at your age when his parents passed away. I imagine that is the main reason he started the pills in the first place. But Oh my, if you could see him now. Seriously he is homeless. He has alienated all his friends because he has started to steal from them. (the money he got is long gone....and he had quite a bit). People that knew him before all this have run into him and are shocked.

I am really worried for you. I want you to take this money and put in some kind of investment that you can't touch or something. I remember when I first started taking the pills I met a girl who was a former oxy addict. She told me that the thought of Oxy's made her sick. I remember thinking..."If I could just stop for a few months I could go back to recreational use". I think after a while even being high *****. And now that I am stuck....I hate them.

Just think about how many smart, wise, funny, caring people write on this board. They have family's, kids, and jobs that they love or need. This drug is powerful enough for all of this to still be secondary to our addiction.

There are so many people who have blown through every last penny to get there fix. You have been given this gift of a trust fund that you can use to do great things. Start your own business, Travel to Europe, go to any restaurant you want. In fact, money is the thing that stresses people out the most and you would never ever forgive yourself if you slipped up and spent all that money. Please just except that you will miss it. Sorry, I just see you have this great opportunity. Good luck.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I just have one thing to say, the biggest liers in the world are ourselves when it comes to drugs.  Think about it, we lie to to others, and most of all we lie to ourselves.  Addicts will do and say anyting to justify, gt money, drugs whatever.  I've lived it not only with myself but also with my ex-g/f.  Just think long and hard and be totally honest with yourself!
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Avatar universal
The good thing is that you are on Methadone.The oxycontin wont be able to give you a eorphoric high as the purpose of methadone,or one of the purposes is to block the effects of opiates.THe othwer plus is they give you urine tests.Brother report to your methadone dr.these feelings,as psychotherapy is part of the methasdone maintenance program.Unless you are getting street methadone. I am 49 and have received a inheritance of 100gs I was addicted to crack cocaine, percocets and alcohol,to the amount of time it took me to spend it was 2yrs.Even with the investment strategies,if your an active drug addict,you can spend every cent.There is no safe way,except.Use some of that MONEY TO GO TO INPATIENT TREATMENT,IF you dont youll end-up a BIG_LOSER CRYING A BROKE. GO TO TREATMENT you cant say you dont have the MONEY john
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Avatar universal
how fast can you say bye bye trust fund?
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441382 tn?1452810569
So many people in this world are suffering and wanting for just the basics that they need for even a meager existence, never mind a comfortable life, because of a lack of money.  You are coming into a trust fund that I assume will mean that you are set for quite a while, if not for life, PLEASE don't waste the money AND your life chasing after a high you will never find.  Instead use the money to buy yourself a good life, full of positive things.  As wannabefree suggested, double up on your aftercare program NOW, and do whatever you have to do to stop thinking about getting high.  You are going to have something that most of us only dream of.  Don't waste it on something that can only have a negative outcome.  Please stay strong and stay positive.  You can do it, you just have to program yourself to want to.  

Ghilly
Helpful - 0
544292 tn?1268882668
If you are a Christian, you know the answer.

Think God or Christ wants you to go back to "recreational use?"

If this was me, I'd come clean with SOMEONE and get that money protected ASAP. As in untouchable. You haven't had enough aftercare if you are asking this question.

I'll pray for you. I am worried FOR you and I don't even know you. I see the pathway you are proposing and it's not a Godly Path.

I hope you can stll hear over the Screaming Voice of Addiction.

Your money will be gone in a blink.

Love and healing;
Emily
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199177 tn?1490498534
can an alcoholic have an occasional cocktail ?? we both know the answer to this :)
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Avatar universal
NO. This has been another edition of simple answers to simple questions....
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544292 tn?1268882668
LOL!

LovePat, you so need your own SHOW!

We'll call it; Simple Answers to Simple Questions!


Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
The answer is NO...u will never be able to be able to use recreationslly...no one i know after being and addict has been able to...u r really preparing for relapse mentally right now as mentioned above...keep this thinking up and it wont be long...NO   NO   NO!...u can not////u r playing wih fire and u will get burned every time
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Avatar universal
I did it for 10 years without ever having a real problem, guess what it finally caught me even after all the time. The answer is no, never, not gonna happen. You can never have them again.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Dear Useful,

I can only tell you my experience.  I was raised surrounded by trust fund babies.  They were my best friends.  I have only one former addict who is a trust fund baby.  

The reason I only have one best friend that is a former addict is that all the others (SIX ALL GONE!) died!  Yeah, it's great to have disposable income, but it's not so great when one drug is too many and a thousand isn't enough and a person who feels the need can feed the need of a thousand - or even a ton more.    

The horror of it all is that I keep thinking that if only they hadn't had enough money to purchase too damn many of their drugs of choice they would still be here with me.

The only reason I still have one of my oldest best friends is that she, well, her family, put her in a total of 5 rehabs and quite a lot of other medical interventions to try to get her some help.

The 5th rehab finally took and she is as beautiful and as fabulously funny as she was before she took a turn down that twisted road.

Good Luck to You.  But, please spend some of that money trying to save yourself.  I don't know you but I do know you must have so many people who will miss you.

Again, Good Luck!

Suda
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Avatar universal
Short answer... Nope.
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Avatar universal
I should have read your story before answering above.

Let me relate a story.

I had a friend in the military who had a sister, and when she was very young, got her arm bit off by a bear at a city zoo.  They sued and were awarded around $250,000.00.  It was put into trust and when she turn 18 and with fund growth had almost 1 million.  

At some point she had developed a very bad cocaine habit and it took her and her boyfriend 6 months to snort through it, buy new cars, crash them and buy new ones as well as taking trips to the more drug liberal countries around the world.

At the end of the 6 mos. they didn't have a pot to **** in...

You wanna go there too?

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Avatar universal
The other thing that I wanted to say is I'm not a trust fund baby but a self made person who has been very blessed and live very well.  I could buy any drug in any amount I want at any time.

I have chosen not to.  

Join me.

Helpful - 0
340590 tn?1290952141
absolutely unequivocally not.  it will not happen.  for you or any other person that has ever been addicted to any substance.  but, i do have a favor to ask.  once you have tried it, please come back here and post your story.  it just may help someone else.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I've been in your shoes before, not with the trust fund unfortunately :) but with thinking I can get high "recreationally".  In 2004 I had about 6 months of clean time thanks to my local county jail and a halfway house.  Everything had gone so well for me, I had a job a new apartment and I didn't really feel like an actual addict anymore.  I had money since I was working and decided that I deserved a bad of dope on the weekends after busting my butt all week at work.  So I did.  It took me 3 years of hell and beyond to get clean again...  There is no such thing as recreational use for an addict.  If we could, the term addict wouldn't exist.  Try using the money for something useful - give some to charity, invest some, buy a new car... but don't use!!
Helpful - 0
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