Can an addict stay clean anywhere ?

[lorena1993]

I divorced my husband of 22 years to help him hit rock bottom . I didn't want too but felt it was the only way at the time . He has been clean for about 16 months and feels great . He moved to Florida. He was very hurt and i was very angry . He had cheated in the past . I met someone who temporarily gave me positive attention but broke it off . I still love my ex . So my question is ... Can he continue to stay clean if we get back together and he moves back to ct ? He says the weather in Florida helps him . We have a teenage son and I really want my family back together . Maybe we have a shot ?

[smoke101]

I feel, where there's love, there's hope. My partner was a gambler, he quit, and we're back together. We have a young baby, and he also has a teenage daughter...but he keeps smoking, stopping, and starting. I'd like to think he can clean himself up, I hope he does, but I have to give him to space to do so. It's very hard. I don't really sleep, which is why I am responding here, but I do think acceptance is the key. How to do that, I don't know. Which is more painful - to watch someone you love suffer, or not be with them at all? Sometimes it's a matter of self-preservation too.....

[gingin1800]

You have a 50/50 chance.... If he is ready and really wants it then your chances are greater. Just know and understand that this is illness he will be fighting the rest of his life. Chances of a relapse at some point are very high. But there is hope!! There are people who have been sober for 20+ years

[jlannspr]

My first marriage was solely based on using from the first day we were married until the end. We enabled each other, we were together ten years and only married 2 years. I am now with a completely clean, never used, husband and he has been the biggest help for me. It ha been three years since my divorce, and I can just now look back and see the problems the drugs created. While 16 months is an awesome amount of time for him, I'd suggest giving your time apart at least 2 years. You can be friends and talk, but I would give your self both plenty of time to heal. Best of Luck.

[dominosarah]

Did you ever go to any Alanon meetings?  When did your "temporary" relationship end?  Have you thought about going to Florida?

[jerry4664]

Hi and we can all change.. the issue is are there triggers back in ct that will possibly make him fall off track? what was he struggling with ? and some times separation is the strongest bond but it really takes guts to pull it off and when kids are involved its even harder.

[gnarly_1]

Hi  and welcome to the forum....well 16 months is ausum the first year is the hardest  is he working a progam of recovery??? for long term recovery it takes a progam of recovery  some  myself included try to do it alone the problem is long after the drugs stop your still stuck with the addict in your head I was able to string a couple of years together ''white knuckling'' my sobriety but the disease always came back and addiction is a progressive disease that only gets worst with time  we tend to start right back up where we left off and it spirals out of control quickly  for me N/A has been the magic bullet it is a simple 12 step progam that you can apply in life  it is life on lifes terms that is hard for most addicts  it also helps you fix the train wreck your life has become with active using  the meeting are only a hour long there free and those that go to meetings often tend to stay clean  I have also developed some of the best friends in my life  ''clean friends''  that truly care about me if your husband is willing to get involved with it your chances are good without it there less then 10%...  you also should start alanon meetings  ive been with my wife for 36yrs but she helped feed into my addiction by enabling me to continue on  it will teach you how to live with a addict...our family has recovered from my 35yrs as a active addict....I have mad my amends to each of them and today with the help of N/A  I have a amazing life 5 grown children 4 grand children and I am a important part of my family that can be trusted today all I know is if it will work for a old dope fiend like me it will work for anybody that does not want there life to end in jails institutions or death  just know the effort you put forth in both programs can fix a broken family  im living proof  keep posting for support
...............Gnarly..........