Climbing back up

Question

A few weeks back I touched on a very hard subject for me, a few of you might remember, at the time I was only on day 12. Well that did not last. I ended up taking another 80 7.5 vics in about 8 days. 
although i was high i still kept reading all of the post everyday/all day. I  have never been so disapointed in my self, I was looking forward to my 29th anniversary with clear eyes and I blew it!!

Today is day 13  the one thing I changed this time was to call my connection and told her I will no longer need them again, I have asked her not to call me. which she has said she is very happy that I have chossen to be rid of them and supports me 100%. I know  I expected way too much from my self I am the kind of person that wants it now. So I am taking it one day at a time.

I am not very good at writing so bare with me please.

memommy4 · Answer

Thank you all for the support. I do know why I have used and will have to deal with it .......But I do not feel strong enough yet. I have been using some of the thomas items. Which has helped. along with reading all of the encouraging post.

memommy4 · Answer

Thank you all for the support. I do know why I have used and will have to deal with it .......But I do not feel strong enough yet. I have been using some of the thomas items. Which has helped. along with reading all of the encouraging post.

feohmoon · Answer

Good for you!  You can do this.  Please do not beat yourself up - you are not weak - the fact that you are here now indicates that.
Please be sure to take proper care of yourself.  There are many natural remedies that help to alleviate many symptoms you may endure.  There is some info in my journal that could help and Avisg offers good dosage info. regarding vitamins, minerals.  Everyone here contributes so much...I am sure there is much to be learned from reading each journal!  Please keep posting - We are all in this together - There is strength in numbers.

cocobeanlisa · Answer

Hey, that's wonderful....stop beating yourself up...I know I had to do what I did to get to the point that I no longer wanted to get high on pills....I had to find my bottom..And your
right one day at a time...and the suggestion to find out why you used in the first place is a good one..ditto for the triggers...I can only speak for myself, but it helped a great deal to go to NA and do the 12 steps to get to the bottom of my using..and to finally come clean mental and physical for the first time..

WE can do this together one day at a time... So just relax...

One suggestion, if you have any friends or family you use with let them know your clean now and do not want them around...

Congrates on Day 13......

cocobean lisa

Flutterby111 · Answer

It's ok!  You're back and ready to begin the journey to freedom!  We're here for you all the way lady!

memommy4 · Answer

Thank you!!!! 

My next hurdle is going to be telling my hubby just how much I have taken and why. he is very supportive and understanding. It will be hard because i am the tough one. I can handle anythig Ha Ha------If he only knew really how weak I am.

bmc1976 · Answer

Congrats on making it again. You learned from your relapse and that is great! Best of luck to you!
Brian

worried878 · Answer

Congrats...I had to do the same thing....DELETE>>>DELETE>>>DELETE...lol   they have not bothered me again...

johnnykelly · Answer

Thats good,one day at a time. I have a similar characteristic i also project instead of enjoying my sobriety today,i think how better it will be in a month,year ,10yrs. instead of living life one day at a time.This is just my opinion,I wouldnt care much about what that (Drug Dealer) connection says,remember that individual likes your money more than your welfare.these people are not our friends,there DRUG DEALERS. take care john

cathy5841 · Answer

thats great news.  you can do this.  get yourself some aftercre it is very important.  figure out what made you use to begin with and get to the root of it.  recognize your triggers and try to stay away from them.  glad you started posting again.  it will help you alot.  i am here if you need me you can send a pm.
good luck
cathy