Craving!!!

[bandnmom]

So i am having a craving from h*** today. I have a cold, had a bad week and the weather is screwing with my arthritis! I know i can make a call, which i already did, and get some pills. She called back but i didnt answer. I have never had a craving this bad. I am shakey, and i have that feeling in my stomach...im sure you all know that feeling! Like my stomach is waiting! God i hate this. I am 9 months clean....9 flippin months.....and this is happening. My mind is playing tricks on me and i'm fighting with all i have!!! But its like the pill demon is sitting on my shoulder wispering in my ear....so what you can start again....no big deal!!! I keep smacking him away....lol!!!! I cant use, i cant do it!!! I have come so far and i keep telling myself that. I would also be the biggest hypocrit! I try to help so many here and then i turn around and do it! S***!!!!! I hate this!!!

[GoingToMakeIt]

It may sound funny until you study dark chocolate and it's benefits and ingredients.
It has many chemicals in it that helps the body and can counteract some of the cravings.

[NautyOne]

LMAO.......U R so funny...........:-))........I am looking for chocolate bunnies today....70%


nauty......

[scaredmommie]

you are and idol to me right now. you showed such great strenght, im on being clean 11days, and i cant wait to be wher your at, you have given me soooo much good advise, and you have showed you are proud of me, i have never seen a post withou your name in helping someone, thats awesome, see me im not that strong im getting clean using the sub treatment, i hope to be strong like you when i get to 90 days. now i know that no matter how goo di feel one day that the next it can all go down hill. thank you so much.

im happy to see your doing much better, your in my prayers.
<3 chrissy

[GoingToMakeIt]

Way to go bandnmom!!! I knew you could do this. Have you gotten any dark chocolate 70%+ cocoa yet? It can really help when those cravings hit hard.

[bandnmom]

thanks again! Its the start of a new day and i am so thankful to still be clean!

[worried878]

one day at a time when tis kinda stuff appears...but it is not everyday and happens unexpectedly.....here and there...everyone remember that this is a life long battle...even 9 months later u gotta be ready to fight

[K Todd]

Jen,

YOU WON AND BEAT THE FIGHT FROM HELL TODAY !!!

We all are so proud of you !!!

This whole thing really makes me realize, how much we can easely take the gifts in life for granted sometimes.....I am so glad that you learned from today...just has I have.

May you sleep well, and God Bless You,
Love,
Todd

[kim715]

Hon,you have every reason in the world to be proud of yourself.You're a great lady who showed a lot of strength and willpower today,as always.So CONGRATS on being 9 months plus clean.YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!   BIG HUGS.....Kim

[bandnmom]

Ya know...i just said something to Kim that makes so much sense to me. I am gonna look at today like it was a reality check! Never let my gaurd down. I am so proud of myself that i fought. And i fought with all i have. I didnt think after all this time a craving could be so bad. I pray it never happens again but i know in reality not to be so silly. That is why addiction is a lifetime fight. I think i get a little smarter every day when it comes to my addiction. I dont know...maybe not. Maybe its things i have always know but just never experienced. I am so lucky to have all my friends here. I would have never made it threw today without all the help and support and kind words i received from each and everyone one of you. So....from the bottom of my heart......thank you all. I am crying now. LOL!!! From the moment i opened my eyes this morning i knew and now before i close them for the night i am proud. Proud that the pill demon that staked out on my shoulder all day finally gave up and left me.
So i am going to put my ticker on my comment here. I am proud! Proud of myself and proud of all you. We are all learing and growing everyday. For anyone that is new here this post will show you that no matter how bad the craving is it is possible to get threw it and all the wonderful people here will help you do it!
Love and hugz to you all,
Jen

[addict3]

I hope by now you have flushed them, I see you post on a regular basis, and you know what advise you would give to someone else. The money is not worth waiting for her to come pick them up!
PLEASE FLUSH!
I justified taking one last week because I was hurting so bad, but I did not do it and I felt soo much better the next day.
Prayers sent!

[wanttobeclean]

Jen,

Hang in there. I'm sorry things seem to be snowballing for you.  THROW them away...flush them.  You are worth a million times more than those stupid pills.  Walk yourself through it...you'll take one or two or three and feel wonderful for about 2 hours.  Then you'll be right back to where you are now, and worse.  Cause you'll know you let them win.  And you are not a loser..you are amazing.  Fight.  Walk, clean, whatever it takes to scare that demon off your shoulder.    I know you can do it.  

[K Todd]

bobby is so right, and me being on day 13 myself....you have won way to much, and we value and look up to you for your courage and inspiration!

Most of us in here can only dream of being 9 months clean...but you are there, and so shall it ever be sweetie!

Your a big help and inspiration to alot more than you know....never give up!

Glad your feeling better.
May God Bless You,
Love,
Todd

[bandnmom]

aww bobby...u mad me cry! if i can help you just say the word!
hugz,
jen


everyone!!!!
thanks again. i know i wouldnt be this far wiothout every single one of you. yes my clean time is priceless and i think all of you are to. i am so lucky to be part of this forum. when im in trouble i come to you and every time i have ever asked you have all helped me threw it and for that i owe you all so much. i try to return it anytime i can.
hugz to you all,
jen

[bobby139]

Jen....you are so strong to even post, if you know what i mean, im not that strong right now....dont know if i should even be commenting with the cravings im having...same as you girl, shaking belly going crazy....but you are strong and you have come so dam far 9 mos wow i cant even imagine...please hon dont throw it away all those days and nights you have faught dont do it for nothin stay strong...tomorrow is another day...it will pass..
all my love girl
bobby

[bandnmom]

Thanks all!! You all are great and i appreciate all the support! Chris....ur my rock right now, without you i would have used hours ago! TY! The craving is starting to ease a bit! UR right Nauty...omg i never pictured myself saying that!! LMAO!!! My clean time is priceless!

[NautyOne]

What would you rather pizz away.......Nine months clean, or the Money?????....What has more value?.....the money, or you life & dignity?......

I am really afraid for you right now.  Having them in your possession during a "huge" craving.......If you don't get rid of them, the chances of you taking them is 99.99999%

Put a value on your Success & not the pills.

Do you really want to go though that again?  

I wish you the best through this day of Test.

Luv,
Nauty...............

[road2recovery]

Gosh i wish i could just give you a hug....I SO know what you are feeling...But i know you can do this...Maybe a nice hot bath, something to just relax...Some music, ..
Also , the last time i had one really bad, i read on this forum like never before...I am here for you!!!!
r2r

[avisg]

Hey girl,

I really know what you are going threw right now .I have had some major leg problems and I know as well it would just take one phone call.We dont want to do that get out take a walk ,go shoping, something talk threw it .  The craving will go away .... I am here if you need to talk

[Soon2BMrsTurner]

Hey love,

you can do this, hang on , get a movie or take a walk and it will pass, you have come so far and you will pass this test also

[gizzy32]

I have a really selfish reason on my part for you not to use, lol. i cancelled poker now u can't use, haha. I'm sorry this is such a big craving, they are scary and with pills there it's even worse. Keep fighting this with all you have and tomorrow you will feel so good. You need to get the pills out of there. hang in there, 3/4 of a year, it's not worth it and you know that. im still looking for movies here, need a funny one. fight fight fight

[worried878]

Whatever reason u can think of not to use is good enough...if letting down those u have helped makes u not wanna use then so be it.....whatever it takes....maybe take a look at the cravings list in the health pages...reminds me of the reasons i quit...u have made it so far...dont cave now...dont do it as then I will be scared!  if that will keep u from doing it then cool cos it will scare me...when people who have been clean for a long time go down...it is scary to me....please try hard not to do it as we know where it leads..it is just a big doomer..big big doomy place that we never want to go to again..this craving will pass...tomorrow u will wake up and it will be gone..i know how u feel as my joints have been killing me as well..it is so easy to just say "who cares, I hurt" and use...it is just so much harder to stop it at that one time of use...it can start a whole cycle...ur dopamine receptors are asleep at 9 months...Dont wake em up....ok i am grasping here just trying to think of anything i can to get u to make it thru tonight without caving

[bandnmom]

Thank you everyone for the support!! I am still craving BIG TIME!!!! Its just not getting any easier. I thought if i would keep myself busy and that would help. If i ever post again that i am craving someone please remind me not to go grocery shopping with a kid!!! OMG!!!! Well the pills got delivered to my house but i have not taken any ...yet! I know i dont want to but a piece....ok a big piece of me wants to. I cant flush cuz its alot of money to flush. I want her to come pick them back up. She came to my house and i hide...LOL!!! She text me and let me know she left them under the mat!! WTF!!! Still havent taken them but they r in my purse! Thank you all for the help......it meens so much. I just need to make it threw tonight cuzi know tomorow will be better................right?????

[sadinmichigan]

Jen..don't do it!! You know how much you will hate it. I have had intense cravings as well and actually went the extra step and took a handful.I didn't post and i should have but i guess i didn't want to. I know it was stupid and I really am fighting, but I can tell you that I have felt so bad about taking them..It's just not worth it. I am glad you posted ,and I am sorry that your not feeling good. Remember that this will pass. Don't screw up like I did. It only makes a bad situation worse. By the way..I am not still taking them..thankgod..Love ya girl..Lisa

[joann1975]

Hey girl....I'm glad you posted! That shows your strength and dedication to not wanting that pill...and you know what the right decision is!!!

Keep talking here girl! You are going to do this...you will keep your 9months. I know it!

Hugs & Love to my cuz!
JoAnn