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DAY 14* I MADE IT 2 WEEKS!!!!

I cant believe it, I have never had the willpower to stay off this poison for more than 3 or 4 days . So this is a big day for me in another way, too. As soon as the rest of the world wakes up, I have many many aftercare phone calls to make, and possibly find a meeting today. Im scared of meetings, Im shy with strangers in real life and don't want to tell them about my life. So yall keep your fingers crossed that I can get in a private practice with a small group setting,I will keep you all updated today on the whole process. I just need to see if its going to help me, because I really don't know.it may not, I was raised to handle my problems on my own and be strong about it., Im probably just wishful thinking, but I can only hope it gets better from here, Ive read the first 2 weeks are the worst and then slowly you start feeling a little better, Lets hope that's true, but I know everyone is different, but when I was doing pain pills I seemed to detox faster than my friends. SOOOO much of this is your mental state and attitude, I want to tell people that are on day 1 that its more in your head than you think, and if you will yourself to be fine, you  will be. Think about it like this: when we are in our addiction, how powerful are our minds when trying to cop drugs? how sick we feel stuck in bed til we get the call the pills are in, then we feel GREAT! How our minds will come up with the most clever solutions to get high. I think addicts are among the smartest, most resourceful , and determined people on this earth, NOW lets try to put all that mind power to good use. Much Love Yall. Carrie
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7163794 tn?1457366813
COMMUNITY LEADER
FABULOUS!!!!!  Enjoy this....it will make you want to hit the next milestone....30 days.....it will get a bit easier so just hold on tight!
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Avatar universal
thank you! I am about to get on the phone and find out about addiction therapists, I talked to one of my dear old friends that is clean now, and he told me what meeting to go to and that I will have many friends in there, but I wonder if that is a good idea, because Im dead serious about being clean and I know a lot of these "friends" may not be, so big decisions to be made,I don't want to fall back in with these people that may tempt or sabotage me in any way. I need to just stay in control and keep the power on my side, with that said it is way too early for me to be offered any pills. I feel like I would cave in a big way because Im not feeing well or strong yet, thoughts? xoxo
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Avatar universal
Congrats Carrie!!! I am so prou of you!! Someone once told me that you have to " be okay with just being okay for awhile "... I personally tell myself that! Give yourself a HUGE pat on the back! You deserve it :)
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Avatar universal
Thanks! I get the loner thing, Since I had my daughter and my husband lives at work, I have become a hermit pretty much. I love alone time but am finding now that I need people to talk to, not just here but in the flesh it takes my mind off things, I do  a lot of different creative things too, I guess my main thing is my jewelry, I used to draw but got out of practice. I love sculpting and my dream is to get a real pottery wheel and a kiln. If you ever want to chat about our mutual artistic angst feel free to message me! xoxo C.
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5986700 tn?1380791380
Ya Carrie, that was the problem,..I had all kinds of ideas but I couldn't execute .........but ya the last couple of weeks I've been really getting stuff done.  But I'm the type that can't stay with one thing too long, I'm not joking I prob, have a least 10 projects in the works....it s*cks fir me too as I don't have any people that share this with me....., .well my daughters ??but that doesn't count....I'm cool, being a loner/recluse I work it out.  Peace...keep it rollin chicky,...you are smokin them days awa!
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Avatar universal
Congratulations!! Keep it up!
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Avatar universal
No looking back! That has to be my new mantra, along with, Im fine, Im fin, Im ok, Im alive. lol. You have been so supportive, I love it! Have you gotten your desire to create back yet? I have been getting lots of ideas, but haven't executed them, If you get bored ck out some of my jewelry in my photos, I only have 2 pieces up now but will add more. It will come back, and I cant wait to see your work. much love and good karma your way, Carrie
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Avatar universal
Thank you for the encouragement! This is the most important thing in my life right now and I will not go backwards, I feel like if I speak in a meeting the floodgates will open,and I don't like to cry in front of people. I know that's a dumb reason. I will find the right setting, it also depends what my insurance is going to offer me, but Im going to do it no matter what, XOXO Carrie
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5986700 tn?1380791380
Grats,....new you could do this.  No looking back.
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5347058 tn?1381188426
Congratulations on 2 weeks clean!! It sounds like you have some awesome plans in place to continue on the right path. I know how hard it can be to to go outside of your comfort zone (especially when you are feeling raw, emotional, and vulnerable.) It is necessary though. Keep trying different things until you find what is best suited for you and your recovery. Protect that clean time at all costs and keep pushing forward. It gets easier (as long as you keep fighting and put in the work). I promise!
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