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I just received a phone call, from a friend in desperate need to get my boyfriends brother help. I was told he is severely addicted to pills called "Blues".. He's taking them everyday, getting them through someone at his job. We confronted him about it but he says he is fine, which we all know is a lie. He is claiming he cut it down to just the weekend, but I don't believe that either. He doesn't want rehab, he doesn't want to be drug tested and he doesn't want us to tell his parents. My boyfriend wants to keep on top of him, but I just don't think its going to be enough. He needs to know that WE are in control now, and we will drug test him, and we will take it further when it comes out positive. He claims he has stopped but he's going to withdrawal and then relapse. I NEED advise desperately. His parents have to be made aware, God forbid something happened to him. Do we start drug testing him on the spur of the moment, or do we go straight to his parents and discuss it with them?? Please let me know your opinion on this horrifying situation
7 Responses
480448 tn?1426948538
While your efforts and concern are commendable, YOU guys cannot fix him.  All the drug tests in the world and "strong arming" and threats will not make him want to get clean.  HE has to want that for himself and seek the help out himself.  How old is he?

I would be VERY careful about starting to tell all kinds of people (like his parents) in the name of helping him.  Does he live with his parents?  

I would encourage you to read up on addiction.  It's just not something others can fix for someone.

"He needs to know that WE are in control now, and we will drug test him, and we will take it further when it comes out positive"....that approach is going to get you nowhere, literally.  If he DOES test positive, then WHAT?  You cannot force him to get help.

The best thing you can do is offer him support, make sure no one is enabling him (giving him money, etc) and pray that he decides enough is enough.  I surely hope he does...my prayers go out to him.  Please keep in touch, there are lots of people here who can help you understand more about the disease of addiction.
Avatar universal
Thank you so much on getting back to me so soon. This is such a tough situation, I appreciate all your words. He is 21 years old, he is very personal, it is very hard to get any information out of him besides he is "fine" He is never home, he is still living underneath his parents roof. And I believe they are to know what is going on.
You are absolutely right that we cannot force him to get help, but we will not stop trying to help him. We will not give up on him, ever. His source is coming from his job. I do not know if I should notify his job or not. There are so many things we can think of doing, or not to do.
It is in God's hands for sure. I pray he opens up his mind and his heart to wanting this for himself, and to surrender his life to Christ through all of this.
Avatar universal
I'd be very, very careful here. He's an adult and he's entitled to his privacy and has probably told you to "mind your own business".   Why are you so anxious to let everyone know and how do you know they don't know now?

Also, there's a difference between taking a few pills and being "severely addicted". I don't mean to diminish the seriousness of drug abuse at all. It's just that, as NG explained, he must WANT help and you cannot force him to do anything.

You offered your love and support but if you continue to push him on this, you could find yourselves estranged.   All the best to this family-
Avatar universal
Nobody will quit until they decide to quit !! Prayers to you and god bless ! That's the best thing you can do for him right now is pray !! (Just my opinion )
Avatar universal
Blues are probably xanax

And everyone is right - you can't force him to quit. You can
Avatar universal
I lynot enable him. And let him know you love him and worry about him and will be there to support him emotionally when he wants to quit.
Avatar universal
Oh...I thought "blues" were roxicodone/oxycodone or "roxies"...

Lex: What is it specifically? If it's Xanax, it cannot be stopped abruptly like an opiate...
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