Day 30

[PlowBoy36420]

Well today marks a month of battle, I know I've put up a fight and this gives me second wind to keep fighting. I want this now more than ever and don't plan on giving up. Pills are starting to become the last thing on my mind.  I won today's battle and I'm ready for tomorrow's.

[PlowBoy36420]

Thank yall,  it's day 34 without pills.

[ActingBrandNew]

☻/ღ˚ •。* ♥ ˚ ˚✰˚ ˛★* 。 ღ˛° 。* °♥ ˚ • ★ *˚ .ღ 。
/▌*˛˚ ~♥~Congratulations on 30 days!!! ~♥~
/ \ ˚. ★ *˛ ˚♥* ✰。˚ ˚ღ。* ˛˚ ♥ 。✰˚* ˚ ★ღ ˚ ✰* ★

[tooter212]

PlowBoy, I wish I was some help in your recovery but as always there is so many here with such good advice and love to cover us all. They also helped me. I'm not as good with words and not as knowledgeable (sp) but I do love the new ones and the more seasoned ones that gives the love and hope. So congrats on the 30 days . You got it going. God Bless you

[VICourageous]

I have to agree with dominosarah.. CATUF that was some great information.
I totally agree with Post Acute Withdraws. It took me almost 3yrs to start balancing my Brain back, which highly affects the Body. I do believe it has to do with my recreational use off & on since I was 14 until the opiates/methadone got me so hook that I could not walk away this time for over 12 yrs. I have TONS of paperwork on PAWS and to me it is the Mental part of living life clean and how much work and changes it takes to learn to live in your own skin again..Bad Behaviors have to change and digging deep inside has so much to do with it too. OH! It just goes on & on. Should of, Could of, if I only knew then what I know now!!! It makes me feel so stupid sometimes and why I did what I did. However, this Disease is a Progressive one and if it is not addressed it could go on & on until death do us part!!! I also come from the 60-70-80s when it seemed like the thing to do..Ya! Right!
Bless

[PlowBoy36420]

I try to give advice that's helpful.
Right now I'm searching for advice on a post I jus made. It is about CBD

[dominosarah]

Nice to see you!!  You always have good advice~

[PlowBoy36420]

Lower*
Not sure what's up with auto correct lol

[PlowBoy36420]

If I can get past this fatigue and lo we error back pain, I will be alright.  I will stick with some type of aftercare,  I feel it will be important in staying off the Tram-Train.
I'm having a rough day today for some reason, I'm so exhausted and my back and legs (calfs, ankles and bottom of my feet) are bothering me to the point I'm feeling anxiety and depressed. I know it will pass but it's making me feel like I want to call the doctor.
I'm pushing off, even if I did make that call they wouldn't be able to see me until Tuesday or even later. That give me more of a reason not to make that call

[CATUF]

Nice job, PlowBoy. The three most helpful things that helped me get another 30 after my first 30 were:

1) Learning to say "please help me" in the morning and "thank you" at night to my Higher Power after I stayed clean and sober that day;

2) Putting my focus and energy on TODAY. I can only not use and not drink TODAY, and TODAY is all that counts. It doesn't matter that I "always" relapsed before i hit 60 days, or that I "probably" would go down in a few days or next week or the week after. ALL that mattered was that i was not going to drink or use TODAY, and if I did THAT, I was doing EVERYTHING that Recovery demanded of me. Just coming to believing (and doing) that made a huge difference because all of a sudden instead of being a FAILURE waiting to happen (again) i was a SUCCESS. I liked being a success (for a change) and wanted to keep being a success.

3)  Learning about PAWS and being prepared for the regular basis with which it hit me the first 18 months or so. Before, PAWS felt like hitting a brick wall and left me feeling "certain" that I had only fooled myself into thinking I could stay clean and that i was doomed to use or feel empty forever. A good article on PAWS can be found at
http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm

CATUF
3740

[gnarly_1]

Hey Dude congrats on 30 days  time to get to a meeting and pick up your keytag  30 days is the first mile stone  keep doing what doing and like sara said do what ever it takes to stay clean..........Gnarly

[PlowBoy36420]

To bad I'm impatient lol
I wish recovery was faster ;-)

[VICourageous]

Congrats on the Big 30..You wear Recovery well. It will only get better as long as you keep working at it! You are doing a wonderful Job so far..

Bless
Vickie

[dominosarah]

Congrats on 30 days!!  You worked hard for this so keep moving forward.  Do whatever it takes to stay clean, your life depends on it~

[PlowBoy36420]

Yes this can be done,  enough was enough.  I have plenty of opportunities to go back to my doctor but the thought of taking medicine turns my stomach enough to stay clear (unless a major problem comes up is the only way I would make that call) of his office. I want others out here to know they can do this and they're not alone, just think of how terrible you feel during the first week and how you feel now. It's a major difference, I know I will still have my bad days but they don't touch how I felt during that first week.
I see how I felt better within the first month and that let's me know this second month will be even better, I want to keep fighting this, I want to feel normal again without taking.
I know the people on this site made a major difference in my life, I know everyone else that found/finds this site is here for one reason and that's because they are seeking out a change in their lifes.
Stick with it, let's fight just for today, we can only feel better, the worst is just in the beginning.
Praying for everybody that wants or needs this, you're never alone in this battle because I'm right here with y'all.
((John))

[Jerry198]

I was on my way to work this morning thinking today is PB 30 day clean well CONGRATS its great to see what you have accomplished and it lets those cruising the site know that it is possible have a great day and make sure you do something good for yourself and the kids..

[pillguy]

I've followed your story.  This had been a difficult journey for you.  We all know the cost of using.  I'm just so happy for your new found freedom

[NeverAgain127]

Good for you John!

[spider6]

..and it was an awesome "chance"......that you grabbed hold of and ran with to the winners circle!  Yay! There's no stopping you now bud.  Grats on the big 30! The first real milestone of many!  ((((8))))

[msdelight]

30 days is fantastic! A real milestone! Congratulations dude!.

[PlowBoy36420]

Thanks all, this was no easy feat but my body feels a lot better. I have natural feelings again and I didn't have to take a pill to achieve it. I pray I never have to walk down this road ever again. I'm tired this morning (start of 31) and have to rest today, glad I'm off on Tuesdays and Thursdays. So far I haven't over done it with this job, part time work, part time rest lol.
We have this, one day at a time, God has granted me a second chance and I don't want to let him down.

[TikkiTT]

Proud of you!

[Vibe1luv]

Awesome. Don't you feel totally liberated!!! WTG

[motye51]

This is fantastic.....way to go on 30 days....probably seems like a year, but you are so totally doing this. Forward motion only!!!!

[charlie_coldturkey_tn2015]

Congrats on Day 30. We knew you could do it! Now onto the next 30, one day at a time.