Aa
Day 5 I think
I am just posting to say I'm still here. Have been feeling empty and still going through hell. I have so much to be happy and thankful for but I feel nothing emotionally. I worry about bills and money because of all the holes I've dug with this crap and I can't do anything about it. I am completely broke. I can't get rid of this nawing feeling grinding away at me on the inside. I am so done.
it's really great that your on day five! the first days are really a mindf&%^$
what i did was just think no matter how messed up things seemed materially i was better off w/out always trying to figure out how to always have enough pills , i just kept thinking how unsustainable addiction was, always chasing, the feeling of being content, .
so at this early stage try to just let time pass and have faith that things will work themselves out, as more days pass and you emerge from the haze , your perception of life and your finances etc. will be more positive and you will be in alot better emotional place to handle things and be the strong excellent role model for your family that you are underneath the addiction.
one of the best things i have gained in sobriety and working a recovery program is faith! always knowing that things will be ok and will work out just the way they are suppose to.
what i did was just think no matter how messed up things seemed materially i was better off w/out always trying to figure out how to always have enough pills , i just kept thinking how unsustainable addiction was, always chasing, the feeling of being content, .
so at this early stage try to just let time pass and have faith that things will work themselves out, as more days pass and you emerge from the haze , your perception of life and your finances etc. will be more positive and you will be in alot better emotional place to handle things and be the strong excellent role model for your family that you are underneath the addiction.
one of the best things i have gained in sobriety and working a recovery program is faith! always knowing that things will be ok and will work out just the way they are suppose to.
sodone, I think you are doing just great. that feeling you described is an awful feeling. I am glad you are feeling a little better today. try to focus on one or two things that bring you joy or happiness, even little things. money problems can be fixed ... health you cannot always get back. so concentrate on your health. great that you are so strong about staying clean!
Ahhh yeea the pains of detox or what Iike to call it a deep scar to remind me that there is only pain and suffering if yoh use again. My scar is still being cut in me at 23 days clean from 8 years of opiates and the last five on methadone. And now I am going to n/a meetings well first was yesterday but when I walked in that room and seen open arms moo/hugs it gave me such encouragement all the trash in my head went out...but it comes back thats why im going again today.:-) stay strong and great job on days clean......see you in a happy humble life o f sobriety one day at a time....
Thanks I know I should not dwell on what I cannot change and focus on what I can do right now. I feel a bit better than yesterday, thank God!
I will never EVER take another pill. I've come too far and lost too much, I don't know if this makes sense or not but I actually hate those pills for what I let them do to me!
It's like instead of being high or numb I am facing the reality of all that I have done. And I don't like who I am, or was.
I will never EVER take another pill. I've come too far and lost too much, I don't know if this makes sense or not but I actually hate those pills for what I let them do to me!
It's like instead of being high or numb I am facing the reality of all that I have done. And I don't like who I am, or was.
I agree with IBK-
Time to think about aftercare in a very serious way. It will help you to work through these feelings and develop tools to deal with life on life's terms.
Right now it is REALLY important to not look at the big picture but to just focus on one small, manageable goal at a time. If you look at it as a whole you will get overwhelmed and this can impede your progress and send you into a backward slide.
You did not get here overnight and so it is unrealistic to think you will get out overnight. It takes a lot of time, patience, hard work, and self-love to heal the damage that you've done to yourself.
Please be gentle and kind with yourself.
One of my favourite quotes is this-
"We can make ourselves miserable or we can make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."
Carlos Castenada.
Hang in there girl.
You can do this.
Lu
Time to think about aftercare in a very serious way. It will help you to work through these feelings and develop tools to deal with life on life's terms.
Right now it is REALLY important to not look at the big picture but to just focus on one small, manageable goal at a time. If you look at it as a whole you will get overwhelmed and this can impede your progress and send you into a backward slide.
You did not get here overnight and so it is unrealistic to think you will get out overnight. It takes a lot of time, patience, hard work, and self-love to heal the damage that you've done to yourself.
Please be gentle and kind with yourself.
One of my favourite quotes is this-
"We can make ourselves miserable or we can make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same."
Carlos Castenada.
Hang in there girl.
You can do this.
Lu
A wise woman once said to me "If you bring up my past I will be guilty every time". How true that is. You cannot fix your past. You can only work on the here and now. Dwelling on what you shoulda coulda done is keeping you from getting well.
Hun, I strongly suggest that you seek some form of aftercare and work through those feelings before they take you right back to a pill. Please hang in there and get the help you need.
Hun, I strongly suggest that you seek some form of aftercare and work through those feelings before they take you right back to a pill. Please hang in there and get the help you need.
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