Dazed and Confused

[refills]

Shut down by another doctor's visit, I've about had it with this beat up feeling that's lingering for me. In order for me to keep my sanity right now this post will be just as they cross my mind.

My neurologist, (who I do  like) told me she can't touch my meds. My psychiatrist (also like) doesn't want to budge much on them. In fact he told me he would rather I didn't take any meds at all. Imagine your doctor in charge of your meds not preferring to prescribe them. Went to my pcp (like) yesterday as well, had my blood-work done @ 6:30 yesterday morning. She's agreed to start me on a taper for Neurontin and Trazodone. Finally. I see her again next Tuesday. One question is, am I ready to stop those meds without any help to replace them? I'm still taking Nortriptyline and I wonder if it's causing my malaise. It does cause dry mouth. I don't want to take it anymore either. Am I being to difficult?

Lately, worse in the morning, my arms and legs feel real heavy and I can't muster any energy to speak of. My body feels constricted. Compound that with this new paralyzed feeling of both my mind and body and I can't defend my self. Seriously, I can not articulate my thoughts, feelings and the actual way I feel at that moment. I've lost any ability to convincingly demonstrate or defend my wants or needs. Everything is just glossed over like I was a small child. It makes me want to explode but my fuse fizzle's out. I just want to escape from all this.

Also, Has anyone ever during their recovery have trouble saying exactly what they feel is best because you may sound like an addict? I'm having big problems with this. My conscious hold me back because of this label or something. I feel like a hamster in a cage. Waiting and waiting. growing tired of it. Thanks and I hope this doesn't sound silly  

[clean_in_ks]

Hi, Ike....first....it's really a good thing (and rare) that you like ALL your doctors....and it sounds like your pcp is willing to help you with some adjustments.

I cannot remember the original list of all the meds you are on from one of your earlier posts, but two of the drugs that you have mentioned here in this thread created that heavy feeling and malaise for me.

Trazodone and Amitriptyline (a cousin drug to Nortriptyline) BOTH made me feel like someone had poured a bucket of HEAVY oil over my head in the mornings.  My limbs seemed to DRAGGGG.  I got off the trazodone immediately because I couldn't stand the way it made me feel in the morning.....however, I did give the amitriptyline a try for 90 days. (I wasn't on these drugs at the same time either)  I personally did not/do not get that heavy feeling or malaise you speak of from gabapentin (Neurontin).  

You wonder is it recovery? meds? the stroke?  I would say ALL of these things play a part in how you are feeling.  It's definitely understandable at 6 months clean and sober to want to feel a bit more clear headed!  You be ready, Ike!!  LOL

The booze and benzos plus the stroke did a number on you so the gag word "time" is a biggie here.  But talking to all these dr's which you like and being proactive like you are about getting off some of the meds is a GOOD thing.  You ARE healing....but the rebound anxiety and the side effects of all the meds combined are bound to be discouraging to you.

I think you are on the right track.....and having help in knowing which drugs to eliminate safely right now is important.  Sounds like you have amazing support from your wife and a pcp that will help you get this process started.  Please let us know how you come out tomorrow......and be very proud of how far you have come.  Keep the faith....you're making progress even when you don't "feel" like you are~    

[refills]

This is true too Kat. I can't tell what's up or down. Is it the recovery? Is it the meds? Is it the stroke? Well anyways I visited the stroke community. Scares me, I don't like to go on there. Did read a thread that sounds like I wrote it. Did me good. Not enough traffic over there. Here I have my good friends. I'm moving forward the rest of the day. Time to chill....ike

[katmandu516]

They put me on Trazadone once for sleep. And all it did was totally close up my sinuses and I smelled garbage until the dose wore off. OMG! I hate Trazadone.  Tried it again just to be sure and whoa....sucked out my sinus cavity and the smell I was smelling was horrendous.  See, how different meds affect people differently?
Kat

[katmandu516]

Hey ike,
I have been taking Neurontin for many years. First for my anxiety. Because Neurontin works on the nerves of the brain. They also give it to people who have migraines. Then they increased my dosage to help with my back pain.  It agrees with me just fine. I have tried Nortryptiline, but I stopped taking it because I was on so many other different meds, I mean what was the point? But it is supposed to help with pain and is also an AD. That list that On the beach wrote was pretty impressive, but all people are different, and different meds have a different effects on people.  The whole thing with these meds, is that you have to give them a chance to work. At least 30 days.  They are not like Xanax, or Percocet, that work instantaneously.  These meds take awhile to kick in.  But that is just my 2 cents.  
Good Luck,
Kat

[Merri123]

Refills -  what did the neurologist say about your stroke? How are you recovering? Did any therapies get ordered or slam evaluation?  I really think you need to push for that.

This is more than just the meds.  There are many symptoms from the stroke. The confusion and articulation issues. The depression. All are lasting effects.  

Please do not concentrate just in your meds. Look at the whole picture. Cognitive and speech therapies are a must here.

[refills]

I was going to send message but I throw this out there. No, no pain meds at all. Here's the thing about my anxiety. I took Xanax for 14 years abuse it badly at the end. Now it's gone from my life. Not the anxiety but Xanax. My pcp gave me visteral. It just doesn't work yet the doc tells me it's a good med. Not for me though. I need something I can count on in desperate situations. Especially at night time. If I can get rid of trazodone, (which totally gives me that drunk and high feeling) what else can I have for sleep? That right there makes my subconscious feel guilty. I'm between that famous rock and a hard place. Am i not allowed to have a say in my recovery? Did I give that up when I opened up and told the world I'm an addict and a drunk? I feel like I've given up my status in life...Oh brother. I've also given up on swearing. lol that's not easy either....ike

[refills]

That's a great question and another point I brought up. My psychiatrist is not the doctor who originally prescribed Neurontin and Trazodone. They were given to me in detox, 6 months ago. Hey I'm not in detox any more. Is Neurontin a wonder drug for detox? I do wonder about it, that's for sure. I had a real bad time last night. I had 2 blood work ups over 2 days. At least someone is doing something. I hate to sound like a big baby but it's been such a long time. Oh and thanks for the side-effect list of Nortripyline that one "talking, feeling, and acting with excitement" and many others are me for sure. Typical stuff with AD's. That's gotta go as well. Oh well, to early to get all worked up again..My anxiety is through the roof already. Just shaking my head. WHEN?

[atthebeach]

Hey ike I am sorry arent feeling well. I am sorry you are feeling discouraged.

the psychiatrist prescribed all your meds and won't help you taper off of them? What the he ll is up with that??

I am glad the GP will help. That's great.

Nortriptyline has a ton of side effects.
Abdominal or stomach pain
agitation
blurred vision
burning, crawling, itching, numbness, prickling, "pins and needles", or tingling feelings
chest pain or discomfort
clay-colored stools
cold sweats
confusion about identity, place, and time false beliefs that cannot be changed by facts
continuing ringing or buzzing or other unexplained noise in the ears
decreased urination
depression
difficulty in passing urine (dribbling)
difficulty with speaking
dizziness, faintness, or lightheadedness when getting up suddenly from a lying or sitting position
double vision
fast, pounding, or irregular heartbeat or pulse
feeling of warmth
feeling, seeing, or hearing things that are not there
feeling that others are watching you or controlling your behavior
feeling that others can hear your thoughts
general feeling of tiredness or weakness
hostility
hyperventilation
inability to move the arms, legs, or facial muscles
inability to speak
irritability
loss of balance control
lower back or side pain
mood or mental changes
muscle spasm or jerking of all extremities
muscle trembling, jerking, or stiffness
nightmares
pain or discomfort in the arms, jaw, back, or neck
painful or difficult urination
panic
perspiration
pinpoint red or purple spots on the skin
redness of the face, neck, arms, and occasionally, upper chest
restlessness
seizures
slurred speech
sores, ulcers, or white spots on the lips or in the mouth
stiffness of the limbs
sweating
swelling of the face, ankles, legs, or hands
talking, feeling, and acting with excitement
trouble sleeping
twisting movements of the body uncontrolled movements, especially of the face, neck, and back
weakness in the arms, hands, legs, or feet


Have you been on all  these meds since you detoxed or even before that?

[refills]

All the medications I'm on now have left me feeling helpless. Then the run around I'm getting leaves me feeling like I'm stuck. Just had a long talk with my wife and she is planning on taking a stronger advocate position with/for me. Alas it's the weekend. Stuck again. Thanks Krissy for trying to understand a rambling old man....ike

[Krissy_123]

The list*** not lost**

[Krissy_123]

I know you were going to start writing down your feelings and thoughts as they came to you. Then bring them with you to the doc,because you were feeling kind of jumbled before too. Did you end up trying that? You could always do it again over the weekend then bring the lost with you on Tuesday. This is something I also do when I see my doc or I just don't know how to explain things on the spot either. And you do sound to me like you have a very brilliant mind from what I read from all your posts....maybe these meds you're on is just muddling up your head a bit maybe?

[newlife52]

Confused.......are you just frustrated that you can't express to your doctors how you feel or what you need?

You aren't using pain meds are you?

My neurologist will not will not stop....up...or lower any meds that another doctor has put me on.  The Shrink  I went to has tried many AD's but the side effects kill me so  I have an appointment with my primary care who is going to help me taper of my Xanax and address my all over health.

Want to help you just not sure what is going on.

I know I have trouble explaining how I feel to my doctors.

What do you want to say that makes you think you will sound like an addict.

Also....please remember you have A TBI......you will get frustrated easily.

Please tell me what you are feeling....think....maybe I can help you Ike

You are describing how I feel and I know I have pretty bad depression.   Did you tell you neurologist how you are feeling?

[house2]

You are going round and round and rooouuunnd.Your thinking too much,look how long I've been on this site, I know,been there done that.You sound perfectly sane to me.Hey refills what helped me was when I was using I would take a pill and say to myself,"your a drug addict" I didn't like the sound of that but it was true.You got to decide if u want to continue with all the crap that goes with being one or break free and be yourself,I'm thinking ur ready