Did you tell your family about your addiction

[gizzy32]

just curious about how many of you told your family about your addiction and how they reacted. when i came clean to my family and told them how bad it was they were in complete denial and i think to this day they are too. i mean they know, but i guess it's hard for a non addict to comprehend. i know it bothers my mother the most that i used coke, they have never used drugs and my mom does not drink so it was tough for sure. i do believe telling my family and friends the truth really helped me get out of denial and it helped me to finally be honest. sometimes it still gets thrown back in my face, but after what i put those i cared about through i understand. for me it was a good decision to tell them and wondering what happened when and if u came clean to your family.

[LateAugust]

You are absolutely correct,  I have never been an addict.   And I wish to God my child was not an addict, because, first and foremost it impacts every aspect of her life in a negative way,  and to be honest with you, the heart ache it causes the family, or me, her mother is deeper than I can possibly put into words.    My husband is a surgeon,  we should know how to deal with all of this, but we don't, I only know the pain.   It is not "all about me", rather the hell my daughter is going thru, on a daily basis.   Her  recovery is paramount in our lives,   not because I "don't get it"  but I know she is dying, and as a mom my first instint is to protect her.       And  to top it all off, her dad is a cardiac surgeon, that spent 16 years in medical training,  and does not have a clue of "medically" how to treat her, no more so than any other father.  Only if you are a  med student specializing in  drug addiction do you receive training,   Obviously they are not stupid   nor do they want to see anyone addicted,  but  the streets      script abuse  the reasons  go on ad naseum for abuse that happens on the addicts watch.    For  our child  we chose to have a drug specialist treat her..........and that is not an easy process,       because  addition  is truly hell and there are no majic answers,  we all just try to do the best we can  for her to survive healthy and get her life back as she deserves before the oxy addiction took control.   If you  have  a doc  in  anyway  abusing the drugs  or just passing you off to more  drugs   PLEASE  report him,  we need to stop this epidemic of drug abuse in everyway we  possibly can.


No  good  doc  wants  or needs  a patient addicted to pain meds,  I only wish people would report those docs  that  are abusing the script pad, the reprecussuions  are  far  reaching,  and no less than a dealer on a street  I want  this to stop!!!    Legal or illegal.

Stay  strong  fight hard!!!

[jennyca]

Besides my boyfriend (who is going through this too) you guys in the forum were the first to know. I told a family member only to find out he was addicted too. Told one awesome and non-judgemental friend but since I relapsed....nobody knows. It is a full time job keeping up appearences. My family needs me now so I feel like I can't be weak around them. I think that when I start the Subs I am going to tell my brother. And a therapist. Definitely not my parents. They are too old and far away to be bothered.

And here I go being corny but.....so far this site has been the best thing in the world for me. I hope that people who study addiction spend some time on this site because it seems strange to have a Dr tell you what is best when they have never experienced this kind of addiction themselves.

[GoingToMakeIt]

I have been pretty open about it. I haven't told everyone, but quite a few. I use it as a learning tool. Usage turns to dependency and it is all too easy to cross over to addiction. If they have a problem with it, it's their problem, not mine.

[LateAugust]

I'm sorry,  but your post was the only one that I could truly relate to, in regards to telling your family that you are an addict.       Perhaps as a parent with young children you can hide the effects  and your erratic behaviour of drugs  from the little ones.  A child always wants to believe and trust their parent. I don't know about that situation.   However,   I can tell you as a mother, with the  child of a 21 yr old  addict, there was absolutely no hiding she was able to do with her family, as we are all adults and it's effects on her mental and physical being were obvious.   Hence the horrid cycle of drug abuse, it is so apparant to anyone that is closely tied to your life.  Did my daughter lie when she was asked directly about her drug use, absolutely, yes, she did.  Did she lie when we were so concerned about her health, yes, again  she lied.   When she first told the family to ask for help did she lie about how much she was using,   one more time,  yes she lied.         Do I love her any less, once she had the fortitude to be completely honest,  absolutely not.   I have  had more respect for her in these past few months than I did before, because the use is so blatant (maybe we are an isolated case and other users are much better at hiding their addiction) and every time she lied about her use was like another slap in the face.   And God knows  it didn't help anyone sleep any better, because we knew,  not to the full extent,  but I sure as *ell knew that my daughter was fading into to a being that was foreign to all of us,  and it was due 100% to her drug use.       The whole drug addiction scenario is full of contridictions, or personal opinions:  tell,   dont  tell,    support,  don't support, let them hit bottom    love them,   or you are loving them to drug death.  it is a choice to be a druggie,  it is a disease and you should have empathy for the user.     The list is endless,  as are the opinions.

Only you know your family,   only you know how they will react or support you.    I can only say for me and my family, we love our daughter unconditionally  and we will fight this with all in our being,  just as if it were a cancer.  

Regardless of the roller coaster from hell that will hopefully lead her to the road of sobriety,  I am thankful to finally have honesty in our family, so we all truly know, to what degree we possibly can, of what she   and we  are facing.

I wish for you support from those whom are in your heart, without judgement, only a common goal of health and sobriety.

[Beaten]

i told my parents about me and my b/f and they were incredibly supportive. There were of course some tears and we had a good telling off from them both (which we deserved) but they helped us to detox. My bf told his parents however and they didn't even give a damn. All they said was "omy u shouldn't be at that" like whatever right. He really doesn't have much of a relationship with them. So i guess everyone is different. I think it also has alot to do with the type of person u are and what you've been exposed too in order to be able to handle it in a positive way. For some denial is probably the only way. Good for you though getting ur life back together. Your a great example! :)

[headhunterxxx]

i told everyone about everything no shame here


later rick

[xSunshinex]

NO way, I made the mistake of telling my mom i did coke...imagine she found out what I've gotten myself into now? she'd kill me

[genix]

i have used every drug known to man there was no way my family could NOT see it

[pathogen]

Yes, I will tell my family. Because they are the only one to help me. At first I will not be able to tell them but I will try and tell them everything after all I need their support....

Pathogen
[url=http://www.addictionrecovery.net/georgia]Addiction Recovery Georgia[/url]

[addict200]

I told my family, big mistake! They tried to be supportive at first but didn't know what to do so they ignored it and got upset with me for being sick all the time. At some point each of them sat me down to lecture me of the importance of keeping my commitments and going about my daily life. It didn't matter that I was throwing up every day, unable to sleep at night, depressed to the point of being suicidal (this was all during withdrawls). So when I started using again I didn't tell anyone and now I hear everyday how good I'm doing. It's funny they like me so much better high and they don't even know it.
This time I'm quitting myself w/out telling them. I just can't handle the extra pressure.

[BoboR]

My husband was the only one in my family that knew. Didn't tell my kids, or my mom. They would have freaked. I did tell two friends (also suppliers) beforehand that I was stopping. Looking back now, I have no one to really talk to in person about my fears, withdrawals, success at kicking, etc. I want to yell it from the rooftops and can't really tell a soul. Husband just says "Congratulations. Now forget about it and move on." I really want to slap him.

[Rose703]

I told my two kids first and they were so supportive and then I approached my hubby and he was completely understanding although his idea was, "if you want to stop then just put your mind to it and stop." Hmmm wouldn't it be nice if it were that easy!! Anyway I got tons of support from them but I didnt tell my siblings or my mother in law, my parents are deceased so my mother in law is the closest thing I have to a mother.
I think I made the right choice by telling the people that I did. They gave me accountability and I always knew that if anything happened they would be the first to know it.

[Coolio Hernendez]

I think my family always knows already........................I am 33 but i was in a full on rehab at 15-16 years old..

For years and years i didnt do any drugs and spoke out against its use all the time......Then i found the ill's........Now taht was perscribed by doctor ...so...it's not a drug.....I was wrong..

Now i told parents and friends and everyone....It is better this way.

[kim715]

My whole immediate family knew when I went through the methodone w/ds,Just like Lisa ,I don't think I could have hid that if I wanted to.I remember the first time I admitted to my kids about the pills and that I wanted to stop,much to my surprise,they already knew.I specifically remember my daughters response when I,crying hysterically,told her how sorry I was that I let this happen and how ashamed I was.She calmly said to me "why are you so upset mom? We knew you had a problem for a long time we just didn't want to say anything,wanting to stop is a good thing you should be happy,we are." All of my kids were sooooooooo supportive.However,they also were not very happy about me going the methodone route.I certainly should have listened to them and avoided that mistake.So when I told them I was stopping the methodone,they were really relieved,and since my husband is gone alot because of work,although he supported me as much as he could,it was my kids who helped to take care of me through the methodone detox.I know that I could not have done this without the help of my family.Telling them or at least my saying it out loud to them,since they already knew anyway,made me accountable.I don't think once I put it all out there that I would have been able to live with the guilt and shame I would have felt if I didn't see it through.I knew that they wouldn't make it easy for me to stop trying,they would have called me on it,and thats really the reason I told them.I didn't really trust myself to stick it out in the beginning,but I trusted that my kids were tough enough to give me the occasional kick in the @$$ whenever I thought about giving in.I still deal with some shame and guilt about that though to be honest.Eventhough my kids are grown,I'm still their mother,and I should be taking care of them not them of me.Although they never even mention it.I have expressed to them how thankful I am for all the love and suupport they gave me during that not so pleasant time and they just say "you take care of us when we're sick,thats what families do." I love my kids and my husband.I'm very blessed.Peace....Kim

[sadinmichigan]

I told a couple friends..I don't have much family..mom and brother..neither of them were too helpful ..My husband knew because I begged for help many times..I never felt that I had to lie to him..however he hurt me very badly by telling many people about it..I was humiliated and felt he didn't have a right to spread my business around..That was up to me..He is an addict presently and I wouldn't dream of doing that to him..I have had it thrown in my face more times then I care to count..
I think my son (19) has been the most helpful to me..I told him and my oldest daughter (22)..they were amazing!! When I went through methadone w/d  it was impossible to hide because of how sick I was..

[skotandmj]

I was addicteed to Loritab...lots of surgery and too many doctors giving it out.  Was only on for a year but very heavy doses...anyway, before my last 2 surgeries, I started telling EVERYONE....family, friends, doctors, dentists, even strangers sometimes :-)  I just wanted out so bad...so then the docs and me and my husband had a plan...that 6 weeks post op of my last surgery, I would enter a medical detox for a week (the way to go!) So I kept using through the surgeries but knew there was a plan....everyone was very supportive and by telling so many people, I built a real wall of accountability....even told pharmacies....and it would be difficult for me to get some very quick now....but I have not even wanted it, knowing all this...the more people I told, the less power the drug had over me....really incredible.

[broknbck]

just between you and me - no one ever found any pills to give me. they were just being that understanding and supportive of my problem. instead of condemning me.
which was great.

[worried878]

I agree...there is nothing to be ashamed about....some have different relationships with their parents...iwould never have asked my mom to give me drugs...and she does not have any.anyway...dad is a heart patient and stress agravates him...i turned to my meetings for support...to each his own...but people who decide not to involve their loved ones in their problems and handle it on their own are not necessarily ashamed...just thoughtful of the feelings that their loved ones have and may not wish to involve them which is their perrogative...i would never ask my parents for drugs to tide me over...but that is me and everyone is different...i was not ashamed...just decided it was my problem and my support group who knew 1 iota about addiction in the first place is who i turned to...not my 80 year old parents...btw i am 5 months clean and doing fine...my parents are wonderful people and i am an independent type...i stand on my own....good for u broknback for leaning on ur parents and them giving u drugs to taper...that is just not me...btw :and i was never ashamed

[bandnmom]

Well said brknbck! Congrats on 7 months. I am right with you.

i myself told no one at first. it was something i chose to keep to myself until i felt strong enough that i was not going to fail at it..yet again. Still after the fact very few people know. That is one reason i am so greatful for this forum.

[broknbck]

Yes, i told my kids first. my brothers, my parents, friends. everyone that was close to me .  i described the withdrawl when i run out of pills and that i am trying to come up with some solutions here. everyone was so helpful and supportive and completely understood when i could not make it to social events sometimes. and they were even going through their cupboards looking for forgotten perscriptions to tide me over while i was setting up my taper plan.

hey, we did not set out to get addicted to drugs. it happened and now we need help. what is there to be embarrased or ashamed about. we are trying to make it right.there are not many that will condemn you for that right? and if they do, then who needs them? at the same time we are warning people close to us to not get caught up in it also. who knows, we may have saved someone a lot of grief by opening up our mouths and sharing.

BTW my taper was successful and i am 7 months free now.

[worried878]

If I had a husband i would have hoped i could have told him....i have both my parents and do not feel that they had anything to do with this as they are great...i did tell my mom...and she loves me and it hurt her...i would tell my husband if i had one but if i had to choose over again i would not have told my mom...nor did i tell my kids as they are both grown and married...i do not agree that it always serves a purpose to tell everyone in ur entire family about all of this if i did not have to....i dont see the purpose it would serve ...people who really love u hurt when u hurt ...i just dont see where i needed to hurt anyone else..and i wish i had not told my mom...but all is well

[bobby139]

I finally told my husband and one of my sons noticed himself and he is the one in the begining that helped me even before my husband knew...but thats all no friends or family know.
hugs
bobby

[FriaryGrad]

Admitting you have a problem and that you're seriously working on it should bring support and respect.  Those who don't offer you that aren't really people you need to be around while you're working to stay clean and sober. Staying clean requires hard work, and like all legitimate hard work, it should be supported by your loved ones. Addiction is a disease that some of us can "catch" a lot easier than others - it has absolutely nothing to do with CHARACTER or willpower. This might sound weird, but your mom might be someone who could catch the addiction disease easily -- she just doesn't know because she isn't exposing herself to the catalyst that triggers the disease.  If any of us knew we'd be addicts, and couldn't stop a recreational use, we'd probably have made better decisions.  

I told my family and by boss before going to rehab [I think they would have wondered where I was, otherwise :>) ]. They all assured me that what was important was that I recover.  When I got back to work, my boss told me that only the two people in my department who had been holding down the fort while I was out knew where I'd been (I'm a department head).  That was an absolutely hilarious thought. I told him if two people knew then they all knew, but that I didn't mind.  When I walked back into my office, after having suddenly disappeared for 60 days, I got lots of hugs and "we're so glad you're back" comments, but ironically no one asked me where I had been -- some how work had gotten around. :>)   Same for my family.  Although I only told my parents and sister, when I saw my other relatives, they'd (gravely) ask "how ARE you?" in a way that meant: "Are you still in recovery?" That was four years ago, "one day at a time," , and although I don't wear my recovery or AA involvement on my sleeve, I don't consider it to be a secret or anything to be ashamed of.  

[wanttobeclean]

Hubby yes...sibs no.  My parents are both gone.  Telling my hubby was the best decision I think I have ever made, aside from marrying him.  Granted, I've only told him and been clean for 4 days, but still, it feels so right.