I've officially made it to Day 12

[PrettyPaige]

Well, the clock struck midnight...which means I've made it into Day 12 without any prescription pain pills. My mood is horrible...I'm edgy, mean, depressed, anxious, and it really really s*cks.  I just want to feel happy...smile...laugh.  It feels like I'm never going to be able to be that way again...which at the current moment is absolutely devastating to me...because I've always been a fun, silly, optimistic, happy-go-lucky girl my whole life, and now I'm just miserable in every meaning of the word. I always read stories and posts from people who are at or around this timeframe of their withdrawal/recovery and are all like "I feel wonderful!" or "I'm so happy I can be me again"....and I'm here like, 'this blows...having a personality (or lack there of) and mood like this is like a death sentance to me'. Is there anything I can do to help improve or uplift my mood??? I just cant stand feeling this bad mentally....I want to enjoy my life, not dread it. and the biggest thing is that I want to enjoy my life WITHOUT the pills...will this ever be possibly for me??

[Krissy_123]

Lol  so glad you had a good laugh!! Even if it was at the expense of a "pickle" lighter. Haha. Plus I have to agree with jifmoc,anyone saying they're back to their "normal" selves at day 12 must just be feeling good at that moment. Unless these ppl only used for a couple weeks or a month. It takes quite a while for your natural mak-up to become "normal" again. I still felt like poop at 12 days. You're doing amazing and congrats on 12 days!! Everyday you will start to get a little bit better. TIME is the biggest thing in recovery,it s*cks and we all hate that awful word,but it's the only thing that works. Well time and aftercare. Keep up the great work!! ~krissy

[PrettyPaige]

Awwwww! Thank you soooo much to everyone who commented!! You guys are the best!! Thanks for all of the suggestions as well....I need all the help I can get right now.  I was down in the dumps (like the deepest darkest dumpity dumps LOL) alllllll day today.....like totally miserable....I didn't want to be around any of my family at all.  Feeling like that is just the worst feeling in the entire world. I ran up to the store just to get out of the house tonight, and while I was checking out, I glanced over at the lighters, and omg, there was the stupidest most random lighter I've ever seen....and I just burst out laughing right there at the check out...and I couldn't stop!! I had tears streaming down my face because I was laughing so hard!! What the heck right????! I felt like a total nutcase, and I'm sure the cashier thought I was too! Hahaha! Oh, and if you're wondering about the lighter...hahaha it was a light green color, with a drawing of a single pickle on it....and it has cursive writing under the pickle, that just says 'Pickle' hahahahahahaha!!!! I STILL think it's freakin hysterical!! And yes...I absolutely bought it. LOL!!!

[NeverAgain127]

You are doing FAN-TASTIC!   I know you feel like crapola right now, but it will get better.   It if didn't, none of us would be here.

I found that I felt like I had lost the ability to feel happy spontaneously, so I had to CREATE moments of happiness.   Watch funny movies, go to youtube and view some stand-up comedians (I did this and it helped a lot...all of Louis CK's shows can be found there for free.).  

You can't wait to feel happy; you have to kind of force it...and in the beginning it will be "short times" as PloughBoy says above...your brain is re-wiring, and it takes time.

Keep up the good work, Paige..."in the end it will be GREAT.  If it isn't great, then it's not the end"

Hugs,
-Robin

[PlowBoy36420]

I can relate,  I put on a fake smile most of the time because I don't want my kids to see me ill.
It's like I have my moments of happiness for short times then gone.
Congratulations on 12 days for you, I'm at 13 days. We got this, it means more to me now than ever. I can't go through this again, my mind and body won't allow it.
Hang in there, I know it has to pass like the other symptoms.

[Cricketk92]

Morning!  
Congrats on Day 12!!!
I have to agree with jifmoc on this one... I know that I felt better at day 12 but for sure not happy and carefree!!  Some symptoms linger for quite awhile!  I went back to work around Day 7 or 8 and I think that helped me some...just to be out of the house and thinking about something else....but I don't think I began to feel emotionally better until around a month or so...that was when sleep got better and the fatigue began to go away!
  So yes, its all about time and unfortunately it is different for all of us!  The only timeline that is kind of accurate is how long the awful physical detox symptoms last...the rest is different for all of us!!  
Honestly what began to lift my mood was first my dog....I began to pay more attention to him and play with him everyday and that really helped!  And then once  I got involved in NA/AA and began to see some light at the end of the tunnel!  That helped a lot!  Just to see others, in the flesh, where I was and now they were happy and living life!  That gave me so much hope and encouragement!
Keep hanging in there!  It really DOES get better and you will find that fun. silly girl again!  She is in there just waiting to come back out!!!  :)

[jifmoc]

Hi, Paige...was wondering if we were gonna see you!

Oh boy, that is my favorite complaint! "Why do other people feel happy but I don't at X days?" Listen...there is NO WAY you can feel truly, authentically good at 12 days. No effin way. Perhaps those who posted  are feeling a moment of relief and are posting that feeling. I promise you I wanted to chew my own arm off at 12 days. You haven't even begun your journey...

As they say, you didn't get addicted in 12 days, you aren't going to feel better in 12 days. Time, patience and aftercare. Repeat. Addicts are SO impatient! Years of addiction and we want to feel good NOW! Ha ha. Doesn't work that way. You have to put in the work along w/ time. Remember us telling you how vital aftercare is?