Does it ever stop

[positivelife]

Used a mixture of basically any type of opiate you can think of for a long 5 years barely ever missing a day.  One day I decided I was through and quit on the spot without rehab, no counselors, no prescription assistance whatsoever.  If you were to take a look at me, meet me, and learn to know me you probably wouldn't be able to even guess at one point in time I was a Heroin addict scrounging for money day to day to get his fix.  

Hopefully thats enough information for someone to help me answer this question..... will it ever stop?  I still get the cravings, still I can't sleep great (sometimes I wake up 5 times in the middle of the night), and I feel drained and depressed.  I have enough will power not to begin using again, but i'm getting sick of fighting it.  I need some input from someone experienced with addicts, and I would greatly appreciate any response or suggestions anyone might have.

[positivelife]

Addictedme, KeeptheHope, appreciate the replies.  Its nice to hear a response from someone that understands and someone thats been in my shoes.  One time I tried talking to one of my good friends (smoked weed no hard ****) and I told her about my addiction.... as you can imagine that didn't go over very well.  Addictedme how long have been clean and did you have problems sleeping or any type of medical problems even after 6 months (if its been that long) of being clean?  One reason I'm trying to avoid NA is because I would like to rid Heroin from my life all together.  No offense against NA because I think its great and it works well for certain people, but its sad to say if I were to attend NA my mind might think past the help and try to use it other ways.... like connects.  This forum is already a help though considering I have noone I feel comfortable talking to about there addiction that isn't still using.  I would like to hear some of your experiences as well Keepthehope, I can definately relate to that soda thing you were talking about.  You don't know why the urge crosses you, but when it does its overtaking and you gotta satisfy that urge.  

Nice to hear theres other people out there like me, stay strong, avoid the rush

[KeepTheHope]

I dont have much experience, other then myself. I dont know when it ever goes away. But there are other things that also never seem to go away, like when I try to stop drinking soda (esp pepsi) I always crave it. ALWAYS! The craving never really changes, the craving can always be explained as "A pepsi sure does sound good right now" and it never, ever chagnes. Even a year could go by! Maybe thats cuzz I dont associate anything bad with soda...so I always crave one...now if I really wanted to lose weight, that'd be a different story. I'm not sure what my point is LOL Just try to think about all the bad stuff (being broke and scrounging, etc) that comes from using and maybe you wont want it as much? Maybe you wont consider it so much of a "fight" maybe we shoudlnt even consider it to be a fight? What is a better word?. I dont know...trying to use my own logic. I struggle with freaking opiates too....I wish it would go away but I also know that wouldnt build any character. You can never have a good day unless you know what a bad day feels like. Its too bad once you've tryed something that you thought felt good you will always crave it. Its too bad we cant forget the things exist! You cant crave something that you never knew existed right. The mind is a terrible thing! But for you  the not sleeping part sucks, that is a basic need. maybe you can seek some kinda of help for that. But dont use it as an excuse on here for why you used. (now I just need to take my own  advice) Hope it was at least worth it to read my reply, hope I didnt say anything mean. take care

[addictedme]

I believe your problem is that you just quit using. As a former heroin addict I quit a hundred times only to use again. Being in active addiction is a way of life,you can stop using but you cant stop thinking,,theres  reasons you used and until you address those reasons you"ll always be one step away from using again.Remember that drugs are only a symptom of your desease. This forum,counseling 12 step programs are just a few of the ways to fight addiction.Personally na plays the biggest part in my recovery but all of these things have one thing in common,,,comunication,,talking to people like yourself ,,relating to others problems.You say you have the willpower not to use but your getting sick of fighting it,,when you quit fighting you use and even if you dont arent you getting tired of the constant battle ? Keep posting,,get suggestions and if you didnt learn anything else today on this forum you did learn that your not alone,,gl