Drug of choice

[Tessmom47]

My drug of choice is perc's, vic's or any painkiller. I am not in pain, I just love the high. I feel pretty good b/c I have been 7 days clean. I started the begining of the month and have used 8 day's out of 29 which is not great but some progress. I am going to try my best to not use again. I have several trigger situations coming up and feel really good about overcoming them. However, my question is, since painkillers is my true love how harmful is it to use valium, ativan or other substances that i don't really care about to help me over the hump. I just took some cold medicine b/c I needed energy to clean my house. I will be jumping out of my skin in about an hour. There is no chance in my mind that I could ever get hooked on anything else b/c I just don't like the high. I just somehow feel like I need chemicals in my body for some reason. I starting drinking a little more than usual but I hate feeling drunk so I simply stopped.  How does everyone else feel about a "drug of choice".

[Tessmom47]

Thanks for the help. I am 100% clean of all drugs today. Tomorrow I am going to New Orleans for business and taking no drugs with me. I feel good. Once I get back that should be a victory that gives me more confidence.

[happynessbythekilowatt]

Yeah be careful with cross addiction. I never liked anything but pain killers. After a couple of years I started using others like smoking weed during withdrawals and doing cocaine with friends then using painkillers to come down. I never liked Xanax or the way it makes me feel but it helps to take the edge off during withdrawals which is better than nothing. I wen't to the hospital because I couldn't take the withdrawals anymore and they prescribed me ativan(for anxiety) and clonodine(takes your blood pressure down) which did wonders when taken as prescribe.

Just be careful.

[bigoc1655]

u can not substitue one drug 4 a nother

[kim715]

Glad to hear you are not planning to refill the ativan.Like Avisg said you are on your way.You can do this,you really can.You have the power inside,just believe in yourself.We're all here for you.....Good luck...Kim

[avisg]

I have never heard the term "the gates " I think maybe you are talking about the receptors that have now been built.Your brain will heal with time but it is so true those receptors want there fix and it takes a long time for the urge to use goes .Even now with over 2 years clean I have my days that I crave .I have learned how to deal with my triggers without the drug at first it seemed so overwhelming but it can and does happen .
We are all here for support you can get clean you are already on your way .

[kim715]

Ok I'm just going to say it....You are playing with fire and you are bound to get burned.You took cold medicine because you needed energy to clean your house and you're already planning ahead as to what drug can get you over future up and coming 'humps'.You really need to look into some type of recovery care.You said you stopped the pain killers and I congratulate you on that ,but you are still demonstrating active addictive behavior,ie...the cold medicine for energy.Life is so much better when you don't have to live it around a pill bottle of any kind.When you can just get up and live and take life on lifes terms.It's not always easy,no,but it's so much less complicated when you're not trying to live it while dealing with addiction.You can do it.You are stronger then you are giving yourself credit for.I once HATED the way pain killers made me feel.Seriously I HATED that fog....At the end of my addiction to vicodin I was taking upwards of 20 10's a day,at least 4 at a time 5 times a day,just to not get dope sick.The high and false energy that I once 'loved' was gone and no matter how many I took to chase that high I never got there.All those pills did was cause pain and destruction in my life.Don't kid yourself,cross addiction happens all the time...Please look into recovery care and keep posting.All the best..Kim

[Tessmom47]

Fighting relapse...Dopamine and Addiction is the article I read to learn about the gates and how they may close but they will always be there. That is why we relapse. I have a doctors scrip for ativan and do not plan on refilling it.

[Tessmom47]

I knew what the answer was. I guess I just needed to hear it. What about my gates. Do other drugs keep my gates from closing.

[avisg]

Let me assure you that at this point you are prime for cross addiction off one substance on to another.What recovery care have you got lined up.After a week there would be no use for taking benzos they are HIGHLY addictive and if I had a dollar every time i have heard the words I am not worried about get addicted I never like the way I feel on it ".
we could have a big community dinner .

[desperatetostop]

darnit! i had this whole post done and lost it :(



anyway...basically I was tell you, Tessmom to be very very careful about crossaddiction...your habits my easily become addictions.

Also...congrats on being clean 21 out of 29 days! Right on. You're on the right track!

Stick around here...there's lots of info and support to be had.

Welcome