Shadow,thats great that your use was such a small amount of time,,now you still have alot of life to live ,,,,,clean. I gotta disagree with the anti defeatist statement though, ya threw out clothes,cd"s,movies and friends,,moved away and changed your life,sounds like surrender to me but hey thats a good thing. Also you said that the people in the group had drugs on them,,thats not good. What kinda group was it. Sounds like your doing a-ok now,ya realize that you cant use so keep moving forward and maybe start replacing those old using memorys with new clean adventures.
i havent really told my story and i need to get it off my chest/ so here it is..my father was in prison my childhood..mom tried had 4 children ..i got in legal trouble at 13 put on probation for two years and sent to live with my fathers mother...met my ex at 15 stayed with him for 10years....he was a drug dealer and being stupid i was ok with that ....at 21 became a bartender..lead to drinking about 10 to 15 shots of tequila each shift..then other things basically whatever..mostly coke...my father over dosed and died in 2004 (shooting coke and sniffing oxycotin) my ex was very abusive and after my fathers death within a year i left my ex.....i met my husband that same year i stayed clean for about3.5 years ...i became a tattooist ...and i have back probs and the sitting hunched over was beginning to cause a prob..i was working about 60hours aweek and i began taking pain pills...well i have this nac for not halfway doing anything..so what was a once in awhile thing turned into 100mg to a 200mg aday prob...for almost two years now....the first time i had WD i just thought i was really sick....but then i started to notice a pattern....so i finally broke and told my husband...so now here i am trying to learn as much as possible and i have started weaning past two days..i know some dont think weaning really helps..but im hoping it will decrease sick time atleast a lil....its just gotta stop ..i wanna be me again , i have never ever never felt this way before ...im assuming my WD are so bad because of the amount and i dont wish that crap on my worst enemy...i am very thankful to have found this site ..thanks to all and wish me luck...i will win this war one way or the other
started as with chronic abdominal pain and prescribed all different kind of pain killer until liqued Morphine was prescribed. later this was changed to Norco. I also had a shoulder surgery a couple of years ago and had Norco. I became physically addicted first. I noticed when I did not take the meds I felt WD, so I would take a pill to prevent feeling bad. I would have pain and take a pill, I would feel good the next day (no pain) but feel WD and take a pill. That is where the viscous cycle began. I admitted to my doctor that I would get WD when not taking medication and he would continue to give me RX because I had real pain issues. I finally decided I cannot live like this. It got to the point I was getting a rx and paying someone else to get me more meds. I found this forum and started tapering. The people here told me to stop this tapering crap and jump, so I did and I am now 7 days clean.
I started hitting the booze when I was about 17. I would drink anything I could get my hands on. It wasn't regular drinking just on weekends at parties. I also was introduce to weed. Over the next 15 or so yrs I had develped a regular speed a habit. The alcohol abuse progress from shots and beers, to jack and cokes, to jack on the rocks, to jack on the rocks in a mug, to jack on the rocks in a mug with shots on the side, to jack on the rocks in a mug with shots on the side to drinking from the bottle I kept in the truck. I pretty much drank and drugged all day. If I was awake I was using. Eventually I lost my mind. I was doing some pretty violent stuff and turned very verbally abusive. I was having alcoholic hallucinations along wild emotional swings. I could no longer control myself.
I came into the rooms broken and beat down. I lucky enough to have a sponsor before I hit my first meeting. With his help I learned how to raise my hand and ask for help. He showed me how to work the steps and how to help another drunk. He was there to support me even after my relapse. Anyway, developing a relationship with a power greater than myself, working the steps and helping others keeps me sober, happy and peaceful. I found that it was ok to make mistakes in recovery. I just had to keep getting up and sharing what was going on and then follow suggestions.
Congrats on three days and thanks for this awesome post!!!!!!
SHADOW~ Please stop it right NOW. No more "demons",no more how anything "feels",no more descriptions. I'm through reading this crap...please be less specific...This drug talk of yours can be a HUGE trigger for some and I don't like it.
Please be more thoughtful...
I started abusing alcohol at 14 one of my many reasons was because I was sexually abused from ages 7 to 10 and I found it hard dealing with these memories,at 21 I started getting severe migraines and was given panadeine forte,By age 26 I was abusing the codeine also,I stopped through my two pregnancies and had a twelve month break after a brain haemorrage,so I figured I didn't have a problem because I could stop if I had to,my problem was I didn't want to.
Fast forward to age 47,I was drinking up to 4 litres I think that's about 8 pints of strong spirits a week and taking around 240mg codeine a day.
My doctor sent me for a routine blood test and in two years my liver function and tripled it should be between 0 and 35 mine was 105,my doctor asked me what I was doing,I broke down and told her everything she has been my doctor for 20 years and had no idea.
With my doctors help and an addiction therapist,plus Medhelp and my family I quit C/T and I am now 384 days clean.
You are right everyone has a story ~~~~
I started with pot, hallucinogenics, then as the crowd changed from all hippies to rock musicians, blow, then chasing the dragon, then heroin. I guess I was on drugs a total of four years and it was progressive. My life didn't fall apart because I had a schedule. I still got great grades, tho that last month of college I did get a little sloppy.
I OD's over Memorial Day weekend after undergrad graduation, and then went back to using, although I did have an NDE for a brief second where I felt that I hugged Jesus. It was about two weeks after the OD when I walked into my bfs place and saw people's eyes turn this demonic all black--not druggie black, but...scary movie black and heard a voice tell me to leave when I made the decision.
I went to a phone and called this gay couple from my classics class--they were the only non-druggies I was friendly with, and I asked them to come and get me. They were the ones who talked me into (and drove me) to an addiction specialist who prescribed me methadone. I was on methadone for a few months, tapered off --btw, you will always, always have WDs from anything it's just paying the piper.
I went to group for drug addiction and found that I was around people who had drugs on them, and I got to hear about how great drugs felt just about the time that i was telling myself that i didn't really see people turn into demons. I started to reminisce about how heroin felt and found that FOR ME the group sessions just didn't work. Thinking of myself as being powerless over the drug FOR ME was defeatist. I told myself that I wasn't, that the drug was demonic (huge motivator for me), and that I was going to change my entire life.
I threw out all my old clothes, CDs, movies, and threw away my old friends. I went back to Mass, joined clubs, worked at the soup kitchen and filled my life with positivity and occupied as many waking hours as I could. Every day became a blessing.
There are STILL days where I miss that feeling that heroin gave, oddly. I have shocked myself once by actually saying: I could do it now and not get hooked.
WHAT A LIE.
Drugs are demonic.
That's my story.
Wow chico, we have had pretty similar drug lives.
I was into alcohol and coke off and on for a few of years. Did the LSD and mushroom thing for a year. Did A LOT of ecstasy in the mid 90's. Moved to crack for a short spell in my early 30's. All of them I was able to move off of when I wanted to. Had a couple of years of sobriety, where I really focused on physical training. Learned about Roxicodone, then Oxycontin and this is the one that got me the worst. Have NEVER been this addicted to anything. Tapered this time as the previous ct's just didn't work. Still don't feel totally out of it, but this is longest I have been off. Have really put in the time, research, and sacrifice this go around. Gonna make it.
Best of luck to all.
Just like Sarah said "My story is really no different than anyone else's, just my name is different" and without support and God I would probably be dead by now. Prescription drugs is the leading death in this country right now. You think it is ok because it was prescribed to you but when you start taking ungodly amounts and start mixing it with other concoctions it is life threatening.I have had friends die over this addiction and well the funeral is not the kind of funeral you want to go to.I remember Sarah telling me once to keep my Guard up and now I know what she means. It will rear it's ugly head when you least expect it and you just have to be strong enough to not go down that road again. I take one day at a time and each breath as a gift from God.
My story is really no different than anyone else's, just my name is different. What is important now is what i do to stay on my path of recovery and always keeping me the No.1 priority. I will never beat my addictions, all i can do is put them on the backburner. This addiction is sly and cunning and can strike at any given time. As addict63 said, his are in the backyard doing push ups, just waiting......so is mine, waiting to do a triathalon. Just for today that is where it will stay as i am enjoying living again and i am grateful for another day clean. Aftercare is a must and i would be lost without it. Always keep that GUARD UP. Those 2 words were told to me a couple years ago by a very amazing man and when i heard them i didnt realize how big those words would become in my life. I am okay with being an addict as i dont fight it anymore, i embrace it and keep moving forward one day at a time~~~~~~sara
I'm an alcoholic and an addict and will always be one. I didn't overcome my addictions, they're out in the backyard doing push-ups right at this very moment. Aftercare is my answer. Never thinking my own thinking can fix my own thinking. So I started out in AA many years ago, haven't had a drink since my first meeting because I surrendered myself to an entire group of men and women who formed a fellowship, solving a common problem together. I became we. Through that I developed some willingness and I worked steps to completely change me.
I had to go on pain management recently. I was prescribed Vicodin and Ambien. Both of those drugs helped me to sleep with pain. I got addicted. I hated my life on those drugs, so I did the exact thing again. I've learned to live through my pain using PT everyday, and I also joined the fellowship of NA over 6 months ago. I haven't had a Vicodin since and I also got off of Ambien on August 8th, after going through sheer hell. My sponsor tells me that my visit to hell helped me to build the character and willingness to change even more.
I've learned to never rest on my past laurels, and to make at least one positive step towards improvement every new day that God gives me, because my addictions are out in the backyard doing push-ups right at this very moment.
Well I can't actually say that I've overcome any of my addictions, but I can tell you about my story...
I started doing LSD, pot and any hallucinagenic drug at age of about 13 - drinking along with all of that. Started to work in bars at age of 15 and that lead to drinking daily along with cocaine. Went along drinking heavily for years while periodically doing coke and/or crack during my 20's and into my 30's. Had a brief period of sobriety at age of 34 after a bad breakup from my ex of 14 years. After that started drinking again and using crack for about 1 year. Stopped the crack but continued to drink and ended up starting with Tylenol 3's which lead to percocet and then finally to the Oxy's - final dosage up to 120 mg/day for 2 years until 5 days ago.
This is my first time going cold turkey off the oxy's and let me say it has been complete living hell. As you all can see from my brief story above,I've pretty much had addiction issues my entire life and still haven't learned how to cope. I have been to treatments before during my brief period of total sobriety back about 6 years ago. It did work, but I don't know if I have the strength to go through all of that again. I know nothing comes easy, but all I really want here is to stop the pills - I will deal with the drinking at a later time. I know that is dangerous and that I will most likely just trade one addiction for another - but this is me being honest and I don't think I can do it all at once right now.
Yes...b4 my relapse I was kinda waiting for something to happen. Thought I was invincible and strong and could b tempted and come out clean. I was wrong. I didn't have a good plan b4. I thought I see a counselor every week so I'll b fine. After relapsing I hav learned alot.!!! I know now I can't go to the bars and drink bc that leads me back to the pills. I can't b around people who use even if it's only recreationally. I just can't b around that. So this Time around I have a bigger support group and have reconnected with some old freinds who I have told then about my addiction and they r so supportive. I don't think I would have learned all of this without having relapses. I am defintly seeing clearer then ever b4.
Don1234---best of wishes to you! You can do this!
Ang_811--what do you mean "get it" are you suggesting that you saw things clearer after a relapse?
Congrats on 3 days. Just know it will get better
Well I was addicted to pain killers 4 about 3 years. I would take ne kind of pill to get a high. Neways I got on methadone for about 2 years and then on on suboxone for 3 months. I finally got up 1 day and said enough was enough and stopped. But after having 50 sum days clean I starte to have realpse after relapse. This went on for about a month. After long talk with God I'm finally seeing clearer then I have ever b4. I almost had to relapse to "get it". To answer ur question how have I overcome it? Faith and trust! Living and learning from my expereinces. I'll never overcome my addiction I've learned it's gonna b a lifelong struggle everyday. But in gonna do it! I have no other option.
Great post! : )
Day 3 off opiates after 4 years and im sick of feeling like crap already 3 hrs sleep maybe in this time but i guess i deserve it im the one who put myself here.can feel every rod and screw feel like they are gonna blow out my back hope it ends soon.i need sleep and food doing all the things to help the w/d kinda workin a bit i think water bill will be sky high from the 5-10 soaks a day but well worth it well Good Luck To All fightin the good fight.