Emotional wreck - day 5 Oxy-CLEAN!!

[chico1969]

Day five for me off oxy's and feeling sooooo emotional I can't stand it!!   I just watched Streetcar Named Desire and almost had a fit.  I don't get it.  I realize that a lot of emotions are kind of tumbling back on me all at once but this is getting to be ridiculous!  I can't go out in public like this!!  If someone says something to me I feel I might break down and cry or just burst into tears.  Even my cat cuddling with me or her faint little cries make me cry.  I feel so sad it's pathetic.  I know I've asked before, but any more ideas of when this emotional rollercoaster will subside???

I feel that I am not able to face the world right now - I'm about to go grocery shopping and absolutely dreading it.  I don't want anyone to look at me because maybe they will suspect that I'm detoxing or something.  Strange feeling - almost the same as when I'd face strangers before when high on oxy's and wonder if they suspected that I was high??  People always seem to be looking at me strangely - is that paranoia or what????

[shiningstar500]

Things will start to get better for you! I know I kept telling myself tomorrow has to be a better day, sometimes it wasn't but it made me feel better! Congrats on your 5 days clean! I wish you the best!!

[chico1969]

Thanks All,

Just to answer your questions - no, I don't have any past psych issues, but maybe I am starting to display some!!!!  I actually work as a CSW for seniors with mental health issues so I can spot these things easily enough.  I was at one time on antidepressants - about 6 years ago while in treatment for alcohol and cocaine addiction.  But after I left treatment I stopped the antidepressants as well.  I didn't like the way they made me feel anyway - my doc said that they are not for everyone and I did fine without them in the end.  Until now that is.

DominoSara - thanks for the upbeat answer as I just went shopping - only for 1/2 hr or so but I do feel a bit better I guess.  my mother is here with me now and is making us dinner.  She came to visit me and my boyfriend today to make sure we are getting through this ok.  Thank God for their support or I surely would have caved and picked up.

But now that I'm this far into my kick I feel a little more hopeful that it can actually get better and there is an end to it all.  I once was able to function without pills, why couldn't I get back to that place again?  I really DO hope it is possible.

Thanks for your help - Chico

[shadow740]

Have you thought about going to an addiction specialist for monitoring?  You're coming off the strongest prescription painkiller there is, depending on how you did it (swallow, snort, or inject) will determine how you are able (if you are able) to recover.  A doctor will do your blood work and tell you what you need, and how to treat your post-opiate depression.

All of us can give an opinion, but its just that--an opinion.  Your body is different from my body, and there are people that have died from detoxing at home.  

People get ticked at me telling others to go to a clinic, but...I've seen people die from just quitting alcohol without a doctor, much less liquid heroin.

Do you, your life, your family a favor and at least see a doctor for help.  I have a friend who tried to quit a perc addiction about 5 years ago.  He went to his GP who told him to wean off, take vitamins, and go to group.  Three years ago he fell back into percs, then oxy.  He then went to an addiction specialist who prescribed him a drug whose name I won't say, he then did that drug for a year and a half and weaned off.  He's now into extreme sports, has a gf, and says that drugs are evil.  He doesn't hang out with that crowd anymore, he looks good...he has his life back.

He still knows tho that he has to watch for his "triggers"...that never really goes away.

[chronicmistake]

Do you have underlying history of any psych issues?  Yes,, you will be emotional initially but if you are feeling so depressed that you want to hurt yourself or others please call your doctor to get help. I am not saying you are but just in case.  That is the nurse coming out in me.  If you do have history of depression are you on those medications? If you have antidepressant that your supposed to be on call your doctor about restarting them or maybe he needs to change them related to you coming off your medications?  If this last for more than a week or for more than you can handle go see your doctor.  

[dominosarah]

The more you get up and move around the quicker your natural endorphins will kick in.  Our bodies were abused and it takes some time for it to heal.  Dont get discouraged as you are doing great~~sara

[gnarly_1]

HI ....what your going threw is perfectly normal for where you are with your detox....your emotions have been numb for some time now...your just beginning to feel again and your emotions will go from joy to tears in a spit second try not to get discouraged...but rather embrace the fact that your beginning to fell once again this can go on for a wile so get use to it with time things will start to smooth out a bit...I wish there was a way to tell you how long this lasts but it is different for everybody it depends a lot on how long you used and on how high a dose...for me it was 10yrs on pills 6 1/2yrs on methadone so it took a couple of months for it to subside ...just remember you dident become an addict over night you wont get over bit overnight ether hang in there it dose get better...no begins the lesson of pacents and perseverance.....if your not pluged into aftercare get pluged in it will help to have somewhere to vent these feelings both N/A and A/A have free programs and the 12 steps work if you work them...if you prefer 1on 1 you can see a substance abuse conslor or an addiction therapist but this part of recovery shouldent be considered optional good luck and God bless.....Gnarly          

[shadow740]

Opiates kill the body's ability to create its own endorphines.  You have nothing to replace it, and your opiate receptors are enlargened and unable to "receive".  You will be depressed for quite some time.

It will reside when your body begins to replenish itself and that depends on how long you've been doing them, what your body's own ability to heal itself is like--genetics, and what damage has been done to other organs in your body.

When you taper, go cold turkey, or try other vitamin remedies that your body isn't used to it gets grumpy.

Basically, you are in for a bumpy ride.  Just remind yourself that it has to be this way until your body heals and that if you go back on drugs it will only make it worse.  You know you can't stay on drugs or it will kill you--it will, so now you are just paying the piper.

Sorry :(