Emptiness

[Yesidid]

I am a hopeless addict who has, financially speaking, lived with both plenty and with nothing at times. I have come to believe that all humans were created with an emptiness inside. Drugs plague both the wealthy and the poor because neither wealth nor drugs is the answer to filling that void. You can obviously see where I am going with this but honestly, does anybody else feel that this "emptiness" has something to do with their addiction?

[Heather8448]

I used because of the emptiness, trying to fill the hole....the emptiness was there, and is there drugs temp filled it...now I have to lear to fill it with the God of my understanding's help

[clean_in_ks]

Great post, OpenMind!!  Interesting "take" on being bored.  I never really thought of it (being bored) quite like that (as a sense of peace).

Probably cause as a kid...when any of us kids spewed that phrase "I am SO BORED".....our Mom would say....."if you are bored....it's because all you are thinking about is YOURSELF.....get your mind off yourself...DO something besides sit there and think about yourself and you won't be bored anymore".  I have found in my older years...she was SO RIGHT!

[OpenMind24hours]

I think that the emptiness I sometimes feel has everything to do with my addiction. It's "well, I'm clean, now what??" It seems non-addicts can be much more content than me. I'm addicted to chaos. Dealing with that emptiness or not dealing with it for me is a matter of staying clean or not staying clean. If I don't work on staying clean by working a program of recovery, I'll go back out eventually. I found that following some type of program of recovery fills me with the spirit to get back into my interests in life. As an example, our lakes here in MI have frozen over early this year and I've been out ice fishing every chance I get. When I was using all my interest went right out the window. All I did was plan one, was on one or was trying to recover from one.

I shared this just a little while ago on here; I was at an NA meeting and someone brand new in the program mentioned they were bored now that they weren't getting high. The next person to talk said "that's not boredom, it's peace."

Personally I find the 12-steps are just as good of a program for me than anything else. When I feel lonely, angry, tired, bored, have a problem...by just having an outlet, to be able to share with other addicts and then listen to them share, leaves me in a far better state of mind than if I sat alone trying to let my own thinking fix my own thinking. As addicts in this day and age, we're lucky to have the help that's available to us free of charge.

[ricart70]

We know what you mean and I am glad you came on and posted today.
It is sometimes a tough world and some people get by without having to go through addiction or obsessive behavior,while others repeat the exact same behaviors over and over until they die. Some people have a hard wired connection to a rescuing and comforting god,while others do not and do not have the neural make up to feel that sort of thing.
  I find that i am at my best when I am doing and not thinking. We all have to find that place where we are at our best,not someone else's best but our own.
I am glad that you posted this. Posts like this make us think.

[Yesidid]

Sorry that last post got way from me before I finished. I come here to seek comfort, to remind myself where I have been, and to pray for my fellow addicts. I wanted to share a little of my own story and now I need to clarify just one small point. I am not now and never have been rich but I have usually had enough to know that "more than enough" was not the answer.  "Something" else was missing.

[Yesidid]

Wow. Thank you both! That is powerful stuff. You are right people start using for many different reasons. For me, a Big part of my guilt and regret has been that I had no obvious reason. I could have the things that others say they want, had a great childhood, was always surrounded by wonderful people, and was Still completely willing (and doing a damn good job of succeeding) to throw it all away in order to get high because I constantly felt discontent with life? Now I understand that we are talking about drug use and relapse here, not necessarily addiction. God knows I know the difference.  I never want to be addicted again

[CRSeaside]

The whole world may feel empty at times. The woman & man trying to conceive & can't.
    The young man in India who can't find work to help support his family.
      The soldier, on deployment in who receives a John Doe Letter.
       I believe what Larry is saying. The easiest way to fill the void is with faith.
       Faith God will bring you through.  Faith you will know your purpose.
       I feel better when I reach out to give a hand to someone who's feeling
       bad.  All you have is your mind. You can find misery or glory. Pamela

[Bubulous]

A lot of people have problems connecting to a higher power but after all I have been through (2 deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, divorce, loss of three kids, abusive and dysfunctional childhood, and bipolar) the only thing that worked for me was faith.  I think the emptiness definitely feeds the addiction and I have seen many people recover in different ways by filling that emptiness.  Some quit for pregnancy, jail, love, relationships, and near death experiences.  I could not be where I am without faith.  It fills the emptiness by giving me emptiness....?
By that I mean it empties my mind of regrets, fear, and loneliness.  Before I found faith my emptiness was filled with addiction, women, father figures, and my time was spent with obsession.  I have had plenty and nothing as well at times.  I have had times that I had money and couldn't find them, knew where they were and had no money, but my ultimate goal was to have money and not want them.  That is where I am right now.  I have rewarded myself everyday that I have been clean.  I got a new vehicle and I just went and bought myself some new clothes which definitely was not top priority when I was using.... actually nothing was but my next pill.
Thanks for the post, reminded me of the struggles and hurdles I have had to face to get to where I am.