Fear of relapsing

[mama23babies]

As some of you may know I was clean for 6 months and had a hysterctomy 3 weeks ago. I was so afraid I would end up where I am now. When I first started taking the pills again I didn't get that buzz and was so happy but here I am 3 weeks post-op and still taking them. I am having some pain in my right side and back which I'm not sure is still from the surgery or maybe getting a kidney infection. Anyway the last few days the pills are starting to make me feel good again. My hubby is giving them to me. I'm not abusing them.I have only taken 2 at the most in a day but I fear that since they are making me feel good that I am going to end up with a problem again. I didn't think I would still be needing them after 3 weeks. I feel so disappointed in myself. Someone please advise me and help me see clearly again before I screw up again.

[mama23babies]

by the way I haven't used any pills in 3 days and I  haven't had any w/d. Thank God I didn't use long enough to feel miserable again.

[mama23babies]

Thanks hun. You have been a God send to me lately. Thanks for the great advice and getting me back on track. I think when this tenderness goes away I should be back to normal again. I hope.

[avisg]

yes but it was also very tender for a month or two after my hysterectomy

[mama23babies]

I passed a kidney stone yesterday and was feeling some relief but not completly so I went to see my GP today to check for infection. She said that I drank too much water and really diluted my urine so it wouldn't pick up on infection so she is sending my urine to the lab and going ahead and treating me . She saw the white particals floating in it and said that usually means infection.  

Avis I know you have passed stones before and I wanted to ask you if your abdomen got really tender feeling after passing them. That is the biggest thing bothering me now. I hope it goes away soon.

Troubleinohio don't worry for hijacking my post. I wish you luck on your teeth.

[dominosarah]

I understand the teeth thing!!  That is something that seems to happen to alot of us who abuse pain meds......

mama...get to the doctor tomorrow.  If you have a fever now you got infection going on.  Let us know how you come out.         sara

[troubleinohio]

avis and sarah..I need about 7-9 grand worth of dental work done..for real. obviously that aint happenin anytime soon unless i win the lottery so they have me on antibiotics longterm I guess.

and btw my apologies to mama23babies, didnt mean to hijack your post! congrats on not taking any pills today! I hope you get your possible UTI looked at soon. Feel better!

[avisg]

august ,
ya I only took pain pills in the hospital I went home without any ...It was about the only year in alot of years I wasn't using ...I had major bladder problems mine was not working at all I spent three days there because of my bladder they had to teach me how to self chath before I went home it took about a week before my bladder would work properly I was not going to spend a whole week there  .My doctor told me it can cause major trauma to the organs around the uterus ...

[LateAugust]

Going to the ER is always hard on a weekend...   if you have a UTI there are several tests available from the drug store to detect this infection, and lord knows it's  a very  uncomfortable ailment Since you  have had recently had  surgery, I am sure you could call your on call doc and have them call in the red numbing pills, until you can see your regular doctor, unless you find going to the ER is easier for you...

I had a complete hysterectomy  "hip to hip" no  infection, but a lot of pain from the scrapping on my spinal column, but I was only on pain meds my 3 days in the hospital and not really any at home. An  UTI is pretty uncommon following the type of surgery you had unless it is yeast from the antibiotics..... so I would recommend you talk to your doc or the surgeon as soon as possible to alleviate your concerns and discomfort.  Just my humble opinion,  please check with your doctor.

[mama23babies]

I plan on going to the ER tomorrow before this becomes any worse and my pain tolerance goes down. I don't want to go back down the road I did 6 months ago as I have still been dealing with some anxiety and depression. I WANT MY LIFE BACK and will fight for it until I get there no matter how long it takes. I think I am going to take some tylenol for the pain and I feel like I am starting to get a fever so I guess that points more towards infection. In the beginning I thought something went wrong with the surgery but I will get it checked out as I am starting to feel more drained. Thanks for getting me back on track ladies!!

[mama23babies]

Thanks for the post. Just to clear up. I haven't used the pills everyday since the surgery and when I did need them I only took 1 or 2 5mg hydro's a day. I was so happy that the first week while taking them I didn't get that happy high buzz but then I started to feel good from them again and got scared. I seem to be thinking more clearly today as I do remember how bad the w/d was and I don't want to go through that again. I have been very careful with my use after the surgery but what this pain that I think is a UTI brought me to using again. I seemed to have gotten it together again today as I sufffered with the pain.

[dominosarah]

Yaaaaaaaa!!  Way to go on not taking any pills today.  That is great.  I would go to the ER and get the UTI taken care of.  You can really get sick if you dont get it treated. Catheters have a way of bringing them on also.  Keep us posted on how you are feeling.  I think once you get the UTI cleared up you will feel better and that will help mind wise too.      sara

[avisg]

mama,
I am very pround of you too ...That is great ...keep it up we are here for U

[Danny111]

I just read your last post and noticed you said you haven't taken any today.  That's awesome.  Good for you.  Think how cool it will be to have been able to stop before it became a problem again.  

[Danny111]

I think you already know the answer as to whether or not you should still be taking the pills.  Three weeks after the surgery you don't need them but your body probably is telling you that you do.  Your body or I guess really your brain.  I guess people like us who have been addicted have to be super careful anytime we're going to have a medical procedure where opiates might be prescribed.  I wonder if there are different pain medications we should be asking for.  I definitely think we need to tell our doctors beforehand that we've had addiction problems and request some other type of pain meds.  Or at the very least make sure we only get a small supply or something.

I know that I'll never be able to just take any kind of opiate pain killer without it being a problem just like I can never ever have just one drink.  When I think of drinking or taking opiates I don't think of pain killing or the flavor of the drink.  I think only of the high.  In fact if I had some prescribed for pain and if I took them and didn't feel high I'd take some more.  Some people(most people?) can take drugs or alcohol without it being a problem and some of us just can't.  

Obviously I would suggest as the others have that you quit immediately while you've still only been taking very few for a short time.  Stop now before you get to the point where you're going to have to go through bad wd's again.  Try to remember how much it suc-ked.

[mama23babies]

Just popping back in to update you. I am still havin the pain and tenderness today but it's not quite as bad. I do think I have a UTI as the itching and burning during urination is getting worse. I also peed in a cup and can see some small white pieces of stuff floating in it. I do remember seeing that when I used to get the UTI's all the time. I just haven't had one in about 3 years but I think it's from the catheter from surgery. I also feel really tired. I think I am going to have hubby take me to the ER tomorrow to get it checked for sure before the pain gets worse. Anyway I haven't taken any pills today so I am proud of myself for that.

[dominosarah]

If you are still taking antibiotics for that tooth i would think you have a raging yeast infection.  Might want to get that tooth pulled and get something for the other end.......

[avisg]

they are as accurate as the dip quick test they give u in the doctors office ..Not all UTIs are the same and there a different bacterias what worked for one UTI will not work as well for another  if you think you have had it for weeks then I would think it would have started moving into your kidneys buy now. The tooth was in NOV  why are do they still have you on antibiotics ?????  

[troubleinohio]

hey avis- how accurate are those UTI tests? do they seem to work pretty good? I swear I have had a bladder infection lurking for weeks now however I am on antibiotics (2nd or 3rd course now for my teeth) and its an ABX that normally cures bladder infections and has worked on mine in the past, so I dont know if i really have one or maybe yeast instead, or maybe just a hypersensitivy/irritation cuz i do admittedly drink way too much coffee every day. I was thinking of getting one of those OTC tests but dont want to waste my money..

[avisg]

you could have I passed to three week after my hyster he said it happens alot one someone is normally very active is in bed for a few weeks the stones start to move so just be carful but as you said you know what the feeling is with stones yes i have a few of the little ones in both kidneys as well right now sometimes with the little ones I pass them and not even know

[mama23babies]

I have had kidney stones. That was one of the things that got me started on the pills. I had a 10mm stone in one kidney and 11mm stone in the other. Needless to say I had to have lithrotripsy and stents placed for a few weeks on each kidney. It was a long process. I just say the urologist 2 months ago and I have a few 1mm and 2mm stones left in each kidney. It just feels different. I haven't had a UTI in a few years because I drink tons of water but I'm wondering if I could have gotten one from the catheter from the hyster. I just got out of bed we are getting ready to leave for a bit today. The pain isn't as intense. We'll see how the day goes.

[Calamity2]

Ohhhhh  I just love Avisg !!!   I'm glad I had a mixture of love from people like her and people like Michael777  alittle tougher don't bs the bs'ers version.  
When you make the decision to get clean , we will all be here to help.  Be honest with yourself

[avisg]

Let us know how you are doing in the morning .You know if you go to a drug store most now sell the urine test for utis I have major problems with UITs so I have one on hand all of the time ..You might want to pick one up and see whats going on ...also I you ever had any kidney stones ? If the pain gets bad you should rule that out to but for that you would have to go to the er .I would watch the incision to make sure they do get infected...
It will be OK don't be scared you can do it .

[mama23babies]

Everything went ok during surgery but afterwards one of my incisions came open and was gushing blood everywhere. The doctor stitched it back up after cutting it open a little more to make sure nothing was going on inside of me. It is above that incision where the pain. It's really sore to touch but I'm assuming that's just from the surgery but now I have pain in my back too and some itching and buring when I  urinate. I was doing really good and starting to feel better. I have went a few days without taking anything but since yesterday the pain is back. I will call the DR on Monday or if anything gets worse I will go to the  ER. I don't want to take these pills any longer than I have to. I have made it so far but I'm so scared right now. Thanks for everything. I am going to head off to bed now and hopefully I will feel better in the morning

[dominosarah]

You gotta get off those pills girl.  Get yourself checked out for bladder or kidney infection first.  Those pills are calling your name now.  You have stirred the beast that lives in your head and the quicker you get off them the better.  sara