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12192525 tn?1426449883

Feeling alone.

Has anyone been on methadone for over a decade? I've been on this for 12 years and my father asked me,are you going to live like this forever? It hit me so hard cuz I never thought about it.
During those 11 years I went up and down a lot,(highest dose was 80mgs) but managed to get myself down to 13 mgs by new years eve 2011. Then started a silly rapid detox and decreased 13 mgs down to 11mgs for one week. Then 11mgs down to 8.5mgs the next. I got so sick. Felt like my heart almost gave up on me giving me random chest pains. So I had to slow down. I went only 1mg each week til I got to 5.5mgs, & stayed on that for 10 days as I felt the rapid detox was catching up to me. Today is only day one and I'm sending myself into a panic attack! I do have clonidine and Diazapam and some lopermide just in case. Has any body out there been on methadone for over a decade and made it? Are the withdrawals longer than others who has been on it like 3 or 4 years? Will it be harder on people who've been on it too long? Is it too late?
79 Responses
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5986700 tn?1380791380
Welcome friend! Never ever ever is it too late! That's the great part.  I don't hVe experience myself with methadone; others will be by who have.  From what I see, how long a person does any substance and how much and with how many other drugs and why are all things that will play a role in how hard it will be to come off.  But it is def. doable! How much have you been taking lately? Would you like to share more.  Stay close,  don't panic, keep posting.prayers peace hugs
Helpful - 0
12192525 tn?1426449883
Hi spider6
I have been taking 5.5mgs for 10 days. Took 10 takaways to my parents place far far in the country side. Yesterday I took my last bottle of 5.5mgs. Today I had 0.1mgs of clonidine cos heart won't stop beating so hard and fast. I'm 35 years old. I think it's time to stop before I end up dying with it.
Helpful - 0
5986700 tn?1380791380
Hey there Catt, geez that does not sound good friend. I'm hoping someone else will see this that can advise you directly.  So far in the countryside eh? Is there anyone with you?  How are you feeling now?  Ya 35 is a good age to stop agreed. Keep posting prayers
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hey there. I think you are going too fast. You can do do this for sure,  but with methadone I think its slow and steady wins the race. Now would be a good time to start na or other recovery group options to start learning how to live clean and sober. You seem sad to have had this sudden wake up call. Its really not so bad though, a lot of good can come of it. Let go of the guilt and fear. It's 12 years. It's time.  I don't have personal experience with methadone, but we have quite a few here who have successfully gotten off. You can't get back yesterday, but you can seize tomorrow! You can make it if you try.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
And please slow done the taper for now if you can. Be safe.
Helpful - 0
1235186 tn?1549257619
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hello and welcome. Congrats on wanting to reclaim your life.
Stopping at 5.5mgs is ok. If I read this right you tapered from
13mgs to 5.5 mg's in anout 6 weeks?
Before that You had been on 13mgs since jan 2011?

12 years is a long time but you are young you will heal.
You have to be patient with the process.
Clonidine will help with the rapid heart beat.
Are you having any other withdrawal symptoms?

Keep the faith. There is healing and restoration.
Debbie

Helpful - 0
12192525 tn?1426449883
Yes you are right about everything you just asked. Today is only day one without the methadone, only 4 hrs since my last dose. I've calmed down after taking a clonidine. Been reading on so many different stories. Learnt that everybody is different. So here's hoping I won't be punished too harshly. I don't know what normal is anymore. But I crave it, and I want it back. Thanks guys, for being here. The support makes a great difference. Gives me hope.
Helpful - 0
12192525 tn?1426449883
And guys, it's too late, I've no more takeaways and am on day 1 of no methadone. I'm very far away from home but my parents are here if I need them. I have 3 boys and they're staying with their father back at home. And I'm not coming home til I'm sure I have seen this thru. Thanks guys
Helpful - 0
1235186 tn?1549257619
COMMUNITY LEADER
Ok good. You have been on a low dose for 4 years that will help with your
Detox. Keep your mind and body busy. Hot Epsom salt baths will help with aches, pains, anxiety. Take a magnesium/ calcium supplement. Drink protein shakes. Clean eating lean protein, veggies and fruit. Stay away from sugars,
Caffeine. Move around as much as possible. If you can get some sun that will help.
I am happy for you and very proud of you. You are doing a wonderful thing for you and your family. Get yourself some counseling and/ or attend some support groups, counsel with a pastor, attend church. Get as muh support as possible.
We are here to always answer questions and provide encouragement and
Support.
Sending hope, healing and prayers,
Debbie
Helpful - 0
12192525 tn?1426449883
Debbie you've given me so hope that I can't stop crying. That's another thing I can't control. The crying but I'm just gonna let everything flow. Mum and dad is taking care of me thank goodness.
Thank you so much for giving me that glimmer of hope. Hugs.
Helpful - 0
12192525 tn?1426449883
Debbie you've given me so hope that I can't stop crying. That's another thing I can't control. The crying but I'm just gonna let everything flow. Mum and dad is taking care of me thank goodness.
Thank you so much for giving me that glimmer of hope. Hugs.
Helpful - 0
12192525 tn?1426449883
Debbie you've given me so hope that I can't stop crying. That's another thing I can't control. The crying but I'm just gonna let everything flow. Mum and dad is taking care of me thank goodness.
Thank you so much for giving me that glimmer of hope. Hugs.
Helpful - 0
12192525 tn?1426449883
Sorry. I'm new to this. Didn't know I posted 3 times
Helpful - 0
1235186 tn?1549257619
COMMUNITY LEADER
There is always hope as long as there is breathe.
Your welcome. I am glad you found us.

Emotions run high during detox.
Opiates have suppressed  them so it's expected.
Let it out its cleansing.

Keep on keepin on.
Stay hydrated.
you got this.
Continued prayers,
Debbie

Helpful - 0
1235186 tn?1549257619
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hey Catt how are you doing?
Keep in touch.
Helpful - 0
4810126 tn?1503942735
Hi there Catt & Welcome, welcome! :)

First, I want to congratulate you on your taper & on taking the plunge!

YOU CAN DO THIS!

I just wanted to chime in & lend you another shoulder. I was on my last M'done clinic for 20 yrs. & was a heroin addict for close to 30. I'm now over 2 yrs. clean.

My Father asked me the same question & I had the same reaction! (it hit me hard). Now is the time -- please don't lose anymore sleep-walking through life on this soul-crushing drug.

Again, you can do this! ( -- you're doing great so far believe it or not :) The emotions that you're feeling are completely 'normal'. You're going to be on a bit of a roller-coaster that way through acute withdrawals but it will ease..I promise :)

Atthebeach gave you some excellent advice. It's key that you redirect your mind/spirit when you're feeling anxious. I found that music & laughter in the form of funny movies (both get those endorphins flowing) & staying on this site & in touch with the folks I met here got me through. I also think she gave you excellent nutritional advice. It's best to stay away from as many mood-altering chemicals as possible. They only complicate matters & slow your neural healing. Right now, your body is in 'fight or flight' mode & it needs time to adjust. It's a process that requires faith and yes..that dreaded word 'time':)

I can also guarantee that if you hang tough, if you see this through, you'll look back on it in amazement with total gratitude & relief. Your whole perspective will shift & you'll come to a place where you'll realize exactly how 'unalive' this drug kept us.

Try to see this whole thing as an uncomfortable but awesome rebirth into a whole new you -- into a life of possibility, love & strength. What you're doing is the wisest, bravest most life-affirming thing that a person can do for themselves & for those who care for them. Dare to believe in yourself & face down that fear. Nothing could be worse than staying on -- you don't want to wake up one day & realize that you've been on for 20 yrs. (It has a way of dulling us to the passage of time & lost opportunities). You're not weak -- you're much stronger than you may currently believe -- living under the spell of this drug & the lifestyle is what makes us believe that we 'can't get there from here'. We can! You can. You're already doing it & you've done it right tapering that low. Good for you ;)

Congrats on day 1. Please, keep posting, Catt!

We're here & we're so pulling for you. Hold Fast :)
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Here is a saying from a movie I kept saying after trying to get off OXY and Fentanyl.  It is a saying from a movie but I wrote it and put it on my fridge and in my bedroom.  "If I can take it, I can make it"  I am "UNBROKEN".

take care, you have friends here
shia
Helpful - 0
12192525 tn?1426449883
Thank you doesn't even begin with how much love I'm feeling on here. Who knew that such words could be so powerful and change the way one thinks.
It day 2 and I know this is the calm before the storm. I'm fed up and ready to face what's coming besides the aches and headaches and just malaise all day I'm doing alright. I get the restless legs at night already. But it's manageable. And what you guys have told me, I now have that in my grasp.
I'm going to accept that it's OK to not be OK for a while.
Thanks guys, the support I'm getting is so overwhelming. *big hugs
Helpful - 0
4810126 tn?1503942735
Hi Catt :)

Awesome..Day 2!

Please stay really hydrated, eat small healthy, unprocessed meals when possible, breathe deeply & slowly & smile (it actually has a physiological & calming effect). Try a cal/mag/zinc powdered supplement & hot epsom salt baths for the RLS. Sleep whenever you can. It's great to hear that your folks are supporting you through this & that you're getting a break from the children. You're only job right now is to see this through for yourself & for them.

Thank you so much for giving us an update -- you sound good. That acceptance & determination will carry you through this. Anything Truly worthwhile is worth fighting for, no? Please, use this site for all it's worth whenever you need it. This is YOUR place!

Keep up the great work -- You're a warrior :)

A Hug of Solidarity Your Way,

Annie
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi  well congrats  to break free after 12 yrs WOOOHOO  it will be a bit tuch and go for a wile but just know it is possible  I did a fast detox form a 7yr habit from 150 to 0 in 8 and 1/2 months it is doable but you got to fight for it....are you sleeping?? that was al but impossible for me that and the energy crash was tuff   it is not so much the severity of the withdrawal as much as the long recovery time that makes this hard to do  just hang tuff  drink protien drinks  2 a day hot soaks for the bone aches and camamelle tea b/4 bed  keep posting for support 5mg should be relatively ez  tapering below that totally s ucks so your better off using that time to recover keep posting for support....Gnarly
Helpful - 0
12192525 tn?1426449883
Hi guys, this morning (on day 3) I had a bit of a scare. As I was walking to the kitchen, I felt dizzy, then my legs started to wobble. I held on to the bench as my legs gave out on me and my arms started doing the same so I let go. Vision was so blurred as I was desperately searching for my dad's number. I had a feeling I was going to faint. So my dad rushed home. Was going to take me to hospital but it slowly went away. So I just stay home. Had the worse restless less last night. No potassium,  magnesium help! It was that strong!
I'm praying that it won't be like that tonight. I'm so scared of the night now. I have some Valium to help me sleep. But even they can't fight off the restless legs. But...looking forward to tomorrow,  day 4 =) each day gives me a smile no matter how bad I'm feeling. And that feeling just from smiling....I haven't felt that in years. Gives me hope and strength to keep on keeping on.
Thanks guys for the support. I'll try to keep u guys posted.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Oh, honey, I'm sorry you are suffering so.   My BF's daughter went off her methadone after a slow taper, and she had a rough time of it, starting on day 3 of no 'dones and then for about 4 days.

Here is what she experienced:

Vomiting
Nausea
Restless legs
Hot/cold flashes
Temperature spikes
Blood pressure spikes
Headaches
Crying

Now, here is the important part:  the most unpleasant physical symptoms only lasted 4 days.  She's still feeling wiped out and cranky, but not like she has the flu.

Try to treat this as if you have a bad bug and your'e going to be ill for a week...probably less than that.   The mental part (anxiety, depression) could last a lot longer.

Are you going to join some sort of support group?  Hang in there, honey.  Glad you have the clonidine...it's very effective at reducing heart rate and BP; be sure to take it as directed.

You can do this.   Keep us posted.

Hugs,
-Robin
Helpful - 0
1235186 tn?1549257619
COMMUNITY LEADER
It is very important to stay hydrated. That can cause the exact symptom you experienced. Drink, drink, drink.
Water, Gatorade, vitamin water. It is important to replace the electrolytes.
Get a magnesium/ calcium supplement. Eat bananas, foods high in potassium.
The hot Epsom salt bath is magnesium. It soaks back into your bones. All these things help with the dizziness and the restless legs.
Wrap your legs in ace bandages, a heating pad, warm  towels.
Walking around will also help.
You are doing great.
Keep on keepin on.
Please check in here more often for encouragment and suggestions.
Hugs, Debbie
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hi  well dont get scared what your going threw is normal  as for the vission thing  mine was horable for quit some time after my last dose  also had the restless legs you jumped at a low dose things shouldent get to bad for me the no sleep and energy crash where the worst part just hang in there and keep posting for support...........Gnarly
Helpful - 0
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