Finally, some good news!

[IfLooksCouldKill13]

Hi everyone, I have posted the last few days about my struggles with my manic depressive disorder, and the lack of improvement despite my 2 yr. 7 mos. clean from opiates. Well, while writing one of my last posts, I had an idea that I didn't even really think about until I started typing it out, haha, but I have decided to return to my rehab in West Palm Beach called Sungery Group. I haven't relapsed, that's not what this is about at all, but I have finally accepted the fact that I'm basically living like a dry-drunk, as the saying goes. Though  I'm clean, I'm still living and behaving like an addict. I came from my rehab either the day before or the day of Thanksgiving in 2010, and I'm through pointing finger at everyone around me for the degree of my issues. I didn't continue to do the things I was doing while in rehab to improve my life, and I was well warned that if I didn't that this is exactly what would happen. I have no one to blame but myself. So, after I started thinking about my situation, I called the lady who ran my rehab, Lisa, and I talked to her about what was going on with me. You see, I went to a pretty unusual rehab center. The place I went to is run by this amazing lady Lisa, and her husband is the resident physician who can prescribe not only general physician things like my heart meds, and nausea meds, but also suboxone and psychological meds as well, so you get a wholistic approach while you're there. You live in a house in the historical district of WPB, with no more than 3 other people, and you actually sign a month's lease on the house. Every weekend, you use $100 to go shopping at Publix and get your own groceries, and you have full access to a kitchen so you can cook your own meals. You get accupuncture and massages every week, doctor's visit every week, gym 3x a week, daily therapy meetings, and daily N.A./A.A. meetings too. It's the place that saved my life, and I trust them with it. I'll be returning there in a week or two if all goes as it should. However, I may be returning there as an outpatient, and live there for 3-6 months in an apartment and just go with them every day to do the things they do. I was petrified to talk to my dad (who I am the closest to in my family, he's my everything), because I thought he wouldn't be supportive, but once I did and saw how entirely supportive he was about it, I was in tears of relief for the first time in a long time. I'm so excited to start fixing my problems, because honestly, I'm not sure how much longer I might have lasted if it weren't for the support of Lisa and my daddy-o. Everyone is so proud of me for being proactive, rather than just say screw it and use, or worse. I just want to feel happy again, and the people I have on my side want the same thing, more than anything. I mean seriously, if you could've heard the things my dad said to me, you would have cried too. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Well, I don't know how we'll pay for it, but we'll find a way, and I don't care what I have to do to get the money, because I only care about you, and your happiness." Tears people! I bawled like a baby! :) I feel so much better just knowing that my dad is serious about helping me however he can. I'm just so excited, I'm actually going to fight to live a better life, again, but this time it's going to be permanent. I'm willing to do the work again, I'm willing to try things, and darn it I'm going to fight until I make it very clear that I'm not going to lose to my addiction. I'm going to live my life and I'm going to live it happy! I'm just so grateful, and so optimistic. I'm feeling strong again. It's such an amazing feeling to know you have people in your corner there to catch you if you fall. I'll definitely keep all you amazing friends updated. If it weren't for any of you I would have never felt encouraged and supported enough to make such a rash decision. I can't thank you all enough for being there for a complete stranger! I will actively return the favor to any and all of you. You people save lives, and you didn't even have to go to med school. :P  I'll let you guys know what happens, and I'll also come back if I have any questions I need help answering. You guys are officially my heroes. <3 So much love and thanks!

<3 -Carly

[ricart70]

Hey Hope this is makes your life much happier as you envision it will.Best wishes to you.  By the way are you taking suboxone?

[BluCrystal]

Oh, Carly, you dont know me, but CONGRSTULATIONS!!!  I just got done going through a similar (very similar) situation myself.  See my Journal enrtry  titled 'My psych ward story' and you will see what I mean.  Isn't it just awesome to get your life back?  All I know is that I am the happiest person I have been in 20 years. :) - Blu