well gang, its was a f^k*ng hard road, but here i am 14 months with zero pain meds/opiates.
after taking pain meds for a bad back for 3.5 years daily but low does, i wasnt partying with them, i just took enough
so i could work/live without too much pain from my back, not certain what the meds were because i was getting them
form a friend of a friend
(not smart, but i had no insurance and a doctor visit seemed unessesary as my 'friend' could get them)
but opiate based.(percs, morphene, methadone etc etc) i think?
getting clean required,
6 weeks of hell, my body felt like i was beat up every day
4 months of ugggggggggggg i feel ****
after 7 months some help/meds form a psychiatrist to help me sleep (7 months with almost zero sleep was BRUTAL)
a serious bout of depression
the complete support of my loving wife,
this forum,
100% committment to getting clean.
universal G.R.A.C.E.
Grace is enabling power sufficient for progression. Grace divine is an indispensable gift for development, improvement, and character expansion. Without grace, there are certain limitations, weaknesses, flaws, impurities, and faults (i.e. carnality) humankind cannot overcome.
and time,
it took me over a year to begin to enjoy anything (sun, music, friends, food, laughing, going out ..anything) !
at about 12-13 months off i started to enjoy my life again, and every day has got better.
my back is almost 100%, thanks to REGULAR chiropractic care.
my mood is good 95% of the time,
i feel like my old self.
if i hurt my back again, id take the pain meds again, back injury, or any painful injury *****, and pain meds work.
my heart goes out to anyone who has physical pain that requires pain medication.
my heart goes out to anyone who wants off the pain medication but cant do it.
(if it wasnt for the support of my wife and GRACE, i dont think i would have made it)
my sadness goes out to anyone who is 'playing' with these drugs.
just today, i talked to a little kid in a grocery store, and i felt very human, and i felt like a good example of a human
being, good eye contact, a pleasant easy smile.
its who i want to be,
not the toxic mess i was for so long,
im free,
come join me,
sure there's a lot wrong with the world
but there really is sooooo much to live for,
and living it clean is the ONLY way to roll............................