Getting Busted, a Blessing in Disguise.

[lesson_learned]

evening. Last week I got a blessing in disguise, I'd been abusing vicodin since last fall. Getting 3 refills a month. I came up with every excuse to keep taking them as directed. Then some a$$clown suggested I crush them to get a stronger effect, me being an addict,did so. Well, I got busted the FIRST time I did it. As I said, it was for the best. Doc will no longer prescribe narcotic classed drugs to me-ever. Said I broke my narcotic agreement, which pretty much black lists me from getting narcotics anywhere, ever in my life. Hopefully I won't ever need them for something serious, now that I've gone and been a fool, and screwed everything up. >:(
I'm angry at myself. Can't believe I was so weak.

She referred me to a substance abuse doctor, who called me and interviewed me. I'm having such a hard time. This discontinuance occurred three days before I was due for a refill. So I split them up into 5's from 10's. I've been sneezing, unable to sleep long, diarrhea,body aches, my injury seems to hurt 3x worse. But this is for the best. I'm not making excuses anymore. It's so easy to wrap up addiction into a pretty little package...and yet so hard to see it for what it *really* is. I wish I was strong...on Thursday, at 12pm I will take my last dose of Vicodin, hopefully ever. I see this substance doctor on Friday at 3:30pm -well- into withdrawals. I'm scared..like anyone else. I don't even know how to live sober. I set up an apt with a substance abuse councilor but I don't see them until Aug10th. I hope I can post here for support. I know I screwed up, so I don't need any hard talk, just need some support so I stay on the right path. I can't sleep either =( I heard Effexor is good for the anxiety and even pain relief.  I'm kinda moody, find myself crying at the drop of a hat....I gotta get through this. Help. I'm an addict, and I f*ked up. Big Time. ="(

[lesson_learned]

Yes, I second what laurel suggested, please. I'd appreciate it very much, and this thread has been up a long while. If you post your own thread, you will get more responses. Good luck with your sobriety journey.

[laurel453]

are you taking any otc help for wds symtoms  ? immodium, some supplements like magnesium+calcium, potasium, Hylands restful legs ( for restless legs syndrome)...drink a lot of fluids to keep you hydrated  ( gatorade, tonic water, green tea, apple juice ), take a lot of hot baths too ( they will help you a lot, trust me )...eat a lot of bananas too..

and no, don't take that percocet, please... the point of wds is that of getting clean of any opiates so... get rid of them, flush them away and don't take them .. good luck :)

it would better if you start your own thread so that you don't hijack this, ok ? :)

and congrats on your clean days !!

[wannabsober634]

My next question is; if I did take a percocet, would my withdrawls start all over again?

[wannabsober634]

The withdrawls that I have experienced are going to the bathroom constantly, and just feeling very lathargic, and my body hurts. How long can I expect these to last?

[wannabsober634]

It was kind of ironic because on the way to the Dr. appt. I was telling myself that I have got to get off this stuff!! I really have not experienced to many of the withdrwals. My doctor did give me "Ultram" to help. I had an appt. yesterday with a counselor but it was only an intake appt. my first appt. is not until the 21st. I have found that getting any sort of help as far as medical help to be very difficult. I am glad that I found this site.

[wannabsober634]

All of this started very innocently with a trip to the dentist about 12 yeaqrs ago. He gave me percocet. I loved them and an addiction was born. At first it was just an occasional thing, whenever I could get them. Well, twelve years later it has become a full blown addiction! I would take Vicoden, Percocet, whatever I could get my hands on really. I do have back issues so they became easy to get. I also got busted just this passed Monday. I went to the doctors and told her that I had lost my perscription. She said no you didn't and she had a paper right in front of her of every perscription that I had gotten. I was humiliated but I knew that the gig was up!

[wannabsober634]

I am three four days clean.

[laurel453]

hey, congrats on your clean time .... you have come through a lot but you have made almost a month, keep counting days :) WELL DONE !!

[lesson_learned]

Thanks :) It's hot everywhere it seems...even where I am.

[shiningstar500]

Great to hear your doing so well! We are a day apart on our clean time!!! I am in Florida and it is very hot out here!!!

[lesson_learned]

Anyone out there right now? I just got back been out in this crap all day.Phew is it HOT out. Think I'll sit this out in the A/C! I was going to go for a bike ride, but I will do my daily walk thing later tonight. Hope everyone is doing good...I miss hearing from everyone!

[lesson_learned]

I'm listening! Absolutely NEED to kick the subs too, the emotional roller coaster is gone from the vics. But there are a LOT of side effects I'm not liking on the sub. Like intermittent nausea,decreased libido,(BIG one,people you think opiates are bad, this is ten times worse.),no appetite,sweats off and on, and I'm sleeeeeping a lot, if my head hits a pillow I'm out. How did you kick these things adam? Now that the vics are out of my system I want to be done of ALL drugs, you know? Want that fog GONE!! But yea, 25 days so far off vics :)

[shiningstar500]

This is great you are doing so well!! I wish you the best!!

[lesson_learned]

PS and thanks very much! If it wasn't for the people supporting me here and my therapist, I doubt I could have come so far. It really is a blessing. And it's nice to be off the emotional roller coaster and seeking mode.

[lesson_learned]

It's true I really was a wreck. I feel much better now, just need to kick the nausea.

[lesson_learned]

Hey, I've been kinda sick lately. I don't know. Feeling nauseous. Not eating much at all..etc. I'm still on sub but I tapered down to half the prescribed dosage. :) Shhh. Sometimes I think those sub docs, just want the money lol. Even though there are waiting lists a mile long. 25 days so far its been years since I've come this far along wiith NO DOC's.

[Ballgame]

Wow your 21 days clean. That's awesome!  Are you still taking the sub?  I know it was hard for you and when you're doing this every minute feels like an hour.  But 21 days is great!! How you feel?  

[adam_addy]

Lesson, I forgot to add that no one can make you feel bad....think about that. just like nothing is good or evil, but our thinking is what makes it so....what i mean is, if you let someone bother you withtheir words, then you are letting them do that to you. It is the same as the control that you let the drugs have over you. Change your thinking, and you can take away the power that you let other peoples words and actions have over you. Just decide that no matter what someone says or does, it has no effect on you. It is that simple. You can choose to do this every day. As humans, we are different from all other animals because we have this power to choose. think about it.... Adam

[adam_addy]

Great job lesson, now u need to taper off the subs, it is just a replacement for the vics.... i did the same thing, and yes u can do it in just a few days...just wait until u feel the clarity of getting off the subs...nothing like it!let me know if u need to talk...Adam

[pattifan]

Hi,

I looked back and saw how miserable you were in your early posts.

It's great to hear you're feeling so much better.

19 days is a great achievement, so be proud of yourself. Great going!

Take care

[lesson_learned]

Hey Sara, Thanks Yes I'm feeling muchly better.19 Days Clean So Far!

[dominosarah]

Hope you are feeling better lesson.   Glad to see you back posting.       sara

[lesson_learned]

looks like I lost Kiki =( good luck with things, girl....

[lesson_learned]

Yes, it is a group session. Sorry for the long silence, got sick this past week not feeling good, and sleeping a lot. Things seem a little better in group though. As for the doctors getting your info, well in my state when you go to get a script, especially that of controlled substance, it isn't so easy. The small practices require your records before doing ANYTHING. The big guys, a little more leg room to dance. Hospitals are too busy but if you end up being blacklisted your screwed;