Giving Up

[blotout]

Ive tried and tried to get off methadone and cannot put myself through the misery of withdrawals, i want to be free of it so bad, but just cant do it, i dont know why it has to be so hard for me, i did the long slow taper jumpes at single digits and still was in misery, ive seen like 5 ppl on here in the past few weeks kick methadone like its nothing and that depresses me so much, why does it have to be so hard for me, i was taking like 5mgs a day and tried to quit several times, now im back up to 20-30mgs a day with no hope left :( i hate myself!!!

[gnarly_1]

HI.......dont loose hope it can bbe done but it takes time and moore time to recover   I felt like death for 3 mo till the energy crash went away with methadone you just have to be in it for the long haul....it imporant to use the right vitamans....go up to walmart and pick up a 3 in 1   ....calsium/magnesem/zinc start to take 4 with breakfact and 4 with dinner this will greatly reduce your withdrawals in a few days this really worked well for me and has good solid research to proove it also whey protein shake will help you recover faster again wallmart for 15 bucks this somthing you really got to want bad ....I consider it one of my greatest accllasments in life  keep posting for support we all want to see you get clean.......................................................Gnarly

[EvolverU]

Hey! Thanks for being so candid and answering my question. I hear you on the 'aliens bursting out of your arms' thing. That's so weird that's was precisely my thought in detox. It's pretty awful. I've got a couple of thoughts for you. I'll PM  you. Hang in there. I'm w/ you. Again, glad you're back.

[blotout]

thank you everyone im feeling a little better today, one reason i havent been posting much is because i know what to do and how to do it i just dont want to, ive asked so many questions on here and have gotten great answers to all and could probably kick methadone if it werent for the arm restlessness/pain at night, ive got a stressful job and then go home to 4 young kids every night, i cannot be waking up a 3AM tossing and turning all night feeling like i have aliens trying to burst out my arms if i hold them still, it drives me nuts, and to answer your question evolverU i made it 9 days once i left the clinic with the help of alot of pain pills, then on day 9 they ran out and my back hurt so bad i thought i was about to have to use a walker to get around so after 2 days of hunting pain pills and not finding any i went back to methadone running, since then 3 days is the most ive made it, usually on the 3rd night the arm thing starts happening, ive took all the vitamins the amino acids the hylands restless legs, potassium, calcium, magnesium, zinc, ive took tylenol aleve ibuprofen, ive rubbed icy hot all over my arms, if only i could get past the arm thing i think i could make it, any ideas?

[OpenMind24hours]

Hey guy, It's your life as a person free from methadone and all other drugs that you're talking about giving up on. This notion to give up will pass. Your anxiety level is up right now. Full moon. Whatever. I know you're going to get back on track with your willingness to continue.  I know how long you've wanted to get off that stuff. You've helped me. We've written back and forth for a minute and I know your story. You've been through the wringer many times my friend. More than most. And you absolutely deserve to finally be free from that crap. You can do this.

Don't compare! I know it's hard, but try not to compare yourself to someone else's success. That's the quickest route to the land of stinkin thinkin. And
that leads to the road of real depression. I haven't seen you on here lately. Don't be alone with your thoughts. You're in some form of WD all the time guy. You need support from other recovering addicts, now more than ever. I keep saying the recovering addict is our drug's worst enemy. I got that little nugget out of my NA book, and it's true. Don't try this at home alone!

Again, you can do this. Never go backwards, always forward toward your goal of freedom. Ups and downs. You're down for a minute. Give it another minute. Your willingness will come back. That's what we mean by one minute at a time. Your miracle is just around the corner. You're going to do this. We all will celebrate your freedom, as one of the most hardest fought battles ever fought on this forum. Show us!

[VICourageous]

Hi bud..Do not beat your self up..Ricart might have something there..I went down & up, down & up..I just could not do it alone..But this site has tought me alot...I really think it can be done...If you can not go any where then maybe post every day for support...The road to recovery is not meant to be walked alone...Are you going to any meetings?..There are alot of people just like you..I think you are trying it with out any support my friend..
I have been thinking about you..I was going to PM you..Why not just hang out here and get TUFF..When u feel like doing more, then post for support.
Can you give the pills to some one to dull them out? I think I asked this before..Anybody??? You come back and keep in touch.I care about you and I want you do see the light on the other side...lol
vickie...

[ponco]

come man you can do it im 60 yrs old im doing it not easy ive been in wd for months, i want off this crap really bad its the only thing makeing me go threw it plus the support i get here, put your mind on it stay active it really helps the wd, and vitimans, the further down i go the more i feel it. every tues i go down 5mgs a week tommarow i will be at 19mgs 5 aweek till i get to 4mgs than i will just quit. thanks john

[SmilingBright]

Words of wisdom spoken to me that I any stress enough:::: slow and steady wins the race!!!!!

Keeping myslef busy.  So Im not in my mind for too long

And all the vitamins and exercise.  Enough when I dont feel like it.  I need the endorphins.  

Please don't give up.  U can do this.  

[SmilingBright]

Please don't give up!!!  I have had a hard couple days last few day bc I had too much time on my hands.    Please don't hate yourself sweetheart!!!  U can do this !!  
I just try and stay postive.  Some days like yesterday  I wanted to ouch someone in the face. Lol. Wish I could have.  

You can do this!!!!    

[hope6hope]

I won't let you give up!!!!

[dominosarah]

You will get off this stuff.  It is just taking longer than you expected.  Dont let negative thinking overcome you now.  Think positive thoughts.  You will get there~

[ricart70]

don't hate yourself and don't give up   You may need to check in somewhere to get free of this stuff.   That is alot easier than toughing it out at home.You can do this.Don't give up.   I also felt like I had more trouble getting well after quitting.But I still got well eventually    keep fighting!!!    your'e worth it

[EvolverU]

I'm so glad your back! I  feel for you. Please, don't beat yourself up. It leads you backwards.Relapse is a learning curve and if you truly want to get clean, hating yourself is a 'luxury' you can't afford. Hate the Methadone and the things it's stopping you from being/doing instead. Don't worry about the fact that others are having an easier time. It's most likely because they have less time in, etc. How long did you make it when you tried going w/o? Did you get more than 72 hrs in? That was always a stumbling block for me on Heroin. The thing is it's not just about letting go of the drugs. If that were the case there would be no relapse. You've got to start asking yourself what can I do differently this time?How can I plan ahead? What thoughts/feelings/behaviors are triggering me? How does my mind trick me? How do I 'allow' this? What excuses do I make? The really physical part of the kick will be over between the 3rd to 5th day. You Can Do This. Get back up on that horse, turn it around and head it back towards the finish line. Listen, it took me twenty yrs. to come off Methadone. I got to the point where I knew I'd never forgive myself if I didn't give it my very best shot. I actually tried to use my anger at myself to welcome the w/d's. when I kicked. Is it possible for you to go to a detox or a rehab to get you over the hump? I know it's hard but it's so worth it. You've got to start really believing it's possible and that you're going to do it no matter what. Never mind the temporary pain. It's nothing compared to the constant misery of yo-yoing your dose and feeling so bad about yourself. I'm really happy to see you here, my friend. Hope this helps a little. Wishing you all the Strength, Patience, Clarity and Love you need to beat this Demon.
A.

                

[YesLife4Me]

Don't ever give up on yourself!!!   We all know you want this and you know you want it.  I wish I could tell you that you won't suffer any withdraws, but that's not true with methadone.  It seeps into your fat and bones so it takes a while for it to exit your body.   I know...I went through 30 days of hell and I was only on 10 - 20 mg a day for a couple months.  You've got to go through the hell to get to the other side.  There is a reason we have to endure the pain...so we don't forget how awful using is and not want to go through that again.  We all want a softer easier way out of addiction, but it's just not possible.  Start tapering back down and don't be in such a hurry to be done.