HELL

[stilltrying1965]

Today i am in hell Going toe to toe with the devil himself . I feel i cant cope with this sh... I am in real agony. This morning my dealer came to the door this morning said he was worried about me coz the phone had been off all weekend (more like the £300 he has not got off me over the weekend) But i have to admit i was tempted really tempted but i never gave into him but i told him this is my mums house dont ever come here again am not having that not at my mums no way. But i think he is getting the message i hope so anyway but im rattling really badly and i know it is going to get worse no doubt about that a lot worse than ever before but still in fighting mode. When the dealer went away i came came in and actually cried but i looked at all my messages from all my freinds here and it stopped me running out to shout him backThank you my new found freinds use no who you are my special friends thank you all  

[stilltrying1965]

You are wright its 11 30 and i have just 1 hours sleep since friday. And i do feel shatterd but wrestless but will try to get some kind of sleep But if i domt i will be back up for a chat Just another few days of this and i will nearly be there . Iget my diazipan tomorrow so thanks Gizzy i will soon be free but till then 1min at a time goodnight my freind James aawwwwwww yawn lol my man

[gizzy32]

I know it's late where you are and hope your finally getting a bit of rest. Let us know how you are when you can and keep that phone off and doors locked, no dealer is ever getting another dollar out of you. Hang in there James, YOUR DOING IT!!!

[j34]

Good job, suggestion is to change all your patterns.You have to get away from any triggers and write what it was like the last 90 days of your addiction , so when your head tells you it is a good idea to use again, you have it on black and white what  is REALLY like. All the best to you.

[neverb4addicted]

You are an inspiration my friend..you have come so unbelievabely far, Keep going,
Your almost there...Hope you's feel better soon...Sending all my strength you way..
Congrats..You's Rule...
Hugs

[dominosarah]

You have shown incredible strength thru this and that is what it takes.  Stay focused and positive!!!  We are all so proud of you.............sara

[stilltrying1965]

paul i am sorry i did not get back in touch last night was really bad  We had started to vomit and on and off the toilet all last night and today is really hard but i stuck with it iv got so mutch strenth from everyone here today that posted words of encouragment i only had 1 hours sleep last night and i was really worried about kim she was so hot i thought something terrible was going to happen i got scared but our strenth comes from all my freinds and telling my dealer to go to hell was a big big step for us and it comes from all of my freinds you to paul and i promise you i will talk real soon my freind james