Thanks Michele!
I have been wondering for a while now whether the cause of my pain is actually these stupid pain meds. Since I have reduced my intake of the norco, the pain in my shoulder has increased some, but the pain in my hands and fingers has actually DECREASED. They are still swollen (tried putting my rings on this am but couldn't do it) but they are not nearly as stiff and sore as they usually are.
My shoulder pain should decrease as I recover from my surgery. This last surgery was not nearly as bad as the last two but it was what they call an 'indirect fix'. Meaning they did not fix the source of the pain (torn rotator cuff), rather they fixed what was causing that - a huge bone spur acting like a serrated steak knife on the rotator cuff) So it will be about another month and a half to two months for that tear to actually heal. But most of that pain is movement-related, not the constant, unrelenting pain that I've had in the past.
That's the other really exciting thing for me. My "fibro" - or whatever the heck it is that launched this circus for me - has been quiet.
I was thinking this morning about how far I really have come. This time last year, I was on something like NINE different medications, including a relatively high dose of morphine. I was out of work on medical leave because I just couldn't function with the pain and fatigue. It is only in hindsight that I realize how incredibly sick I was. Now, I am down to just 3 medications (Cymbalta, Lunesta, Norco) and am working to make it 2.
Equally as important, I am happy. This time last year, I was miserable. Over the past 5 months, since emerging from a very serious depression, I have really found a sense of peace and happiness that I never knew was possible. I believe that is a big part of my physical healing as well. And so now, as I taper of this last medication, I am looking forward to being truly healthy. As much as I long for an answer to what it was that made me so sick, I'm willing to let go of that if it means I can close the book on this part of my life and move forward.
I plan on going "low and slow", allowing my body and mind time to adjust to each new dosage level, keep in constant contact with my doctor (they actually do email!!!!), keep talking to my therapist, keep in contact with my alcohol sobriety group, keep doing my art, do my physical therapy. These are all things I am doing for me to take care of me.
I know that over the next few weeks, I will probably have some down days, some days where the pain is worse. That is ok though. All I need to do is look back and see how far I have come and remind myself that this is not a linear process but I am going the right way. And I will get there - keep my eyes on the prize.
Peace,
Peanut
good for you Peanut, you are doing it right. Its always good to have your doctor help if you can. Ive read some horror stories about Ambien here too, I used it very little for a few months but don't remember if I withdrawed from that really bad. Lunesta may be much better, I hope for you..You may be surprised after you quit all opiates how much less pain you will have in your shoulder.
Great luck to you, hang in there and be strong! You can do this..