Having hard time

[tigerlily75]

Im like 35 days clean, and Im still having some wd symptoms, but nt constant like it was at first, but if i eat I almost always get diarrhea, most nights nt sleeping too well, Im totally isolated, except for the 3 kids Im responsible for raising. I lost my job, so I dont even know hw Im going to pay the bills. I am just so overwhelmed and super depressed. I dont even want to get out of bed ever.

[Pat1956100]

Once again, I want to point out that Lyrica is far from a miracle drug.  It has severe withdrawal symptoms.  If you need it for pain and are going to be on it forever that's fine but you shouldn't be endorsing it for opiate withdrawal as it has worse withdrawal symptoms than opiates.
Google Lyrica withdrawal and you will see what I mean.

[tinkerbell2661]

I know how you feel....when I was in withdrawals my first month I also had money problems to get through...do you have somebody that could loan you some money till you get back on your feet? I worried like crazy but I prayed and it worked out....stay strong if you believe in prayer get on your knees and tell God you need his help and he will help you...Do you have a family doctor you can go to and tell what you are going through maybe he can help you.....I will be here for you just keep posting!!!!!

[adexec181]

So proud of you....and alone with the kids..  What an accomplishment

[shezzreal]

Do you have a doctor that will help you? If so the drug lyrica is a miricle for dealing with withdrawals and cravings. It was originnally made for neuropathic pain ans siezures but the good side effects are phenomenal. It relieves anxiety disorder as well as the depression that goes with it. It stops withdrawal symptoms all together and helps with the drug cravings. It is not a narcotic and is fairly easy to get from a doctor and also much easier to get off of. It has given me my life back and cut my pain to less than half so I could cut the pain Medicine to less than half writhe no problems at all. I could not have done it without it because I would have gone I to withdrawals -  that did not happen. If you can give it a try - at least look at blots on the Internet about it. Also,  the best thing you can do is remember there is a great big God up there just waiting to help when asked - he is a merciful God not a condenming one. God bless and I will keep you in my prayers!

[tigerlily75]

WOW! I got the best advice support and encouragement from all of you that posted! I dont even know what to say. Thank you!

I just had a really bad day yesterday, but today I feel good!?!?! I hate the ups and downs, geez Im starting to feel bipolar lol! ;)

I dont want this post to get too long, just want to catch everyone up, and then I got such amazing answers frm you all, I feel I should addess you all personally.

So, the first month was really bad for me. I will give you a quick recap. Week one, as you all know, sick yucky withdrawals. Week two, I have my pretencious everything has to be perfect aunt and uncle and their 2 kids stay at my house. Well. i had called out of my job one of the days of week one feeling awful, and called n again week 2, still feeling awful plus having family in town. And I got fired. So, then weeks 3 and 4, me and the 3 kids end up with the flu! Its been unbelievable!
Oh, and we broke the toilet, all being sick, and had to have the plumber out. Broke the dishwasher, still havent done anything about that, just handwashing dishes, and its just been one heck of a month!
BUT, Im still sober and thats what matters.



adexec,
I dont even know where to start. your cmment hit every nail on the head! like you said, I am sooo tired of the monotomy of all this, and I so want the real me back and quickly, I feel like Im doing all the right thngs too!  
But I keep trying to remind myself that it took longer than a month to get into this bad place to begin with and it will take time to get...just need some encouragement to help along the way especially during these bad days. that quote right there from you is spt on and has become something I keep telling myself! And your so right, every day Im clean, my kids get their back, thats my motivation! My sweet children!




Princess Lynn,
Dont be scared! It does get better! There are just good and bad days. Reality I guess? You can get and stay clean! But like adexec said, we didnt get ourselves into this in a day or mnth, so it will take time to get better!

Nolifeforme,
You are so right! I am ging looking for jobs and cmmunity services to help today! It will be productive and get me out of the house!

IBKLEEN,
Ive seen some of your comments to others, and I knw you have alot of clean time, your one of my heroes here! And yur right, this too shall pass!  I know I didnt get into this overnight and it wont pass overnight. When did you start feeling better, like your old self?

tryingsohardtobeclean,
thanks! I think your doing amazing! less clean time than me and snow and your out looking for a job? Way to go!

Ben,
I just love your comment! All of it! Your right, i need to make positive changes in my life, and replace the bad with the good, Thats kinda why Im islated now, I had to let go of the friends I had because they were all dealers or users. Im trying to make good new positive friends, not real sure how, or where, but Ive been going to church, so im starting to try. :)

peacedollar,
Thanks, I had not really thought about unemplyment, but unfrtunely, I moved away from all family, its just me and the kids, I had to let all my ld friends go, but im working on getting new ones kinda :)

Thank you to All of you for your comments and support, it means the world to me, and because of it, I now have one more day clean! Woo Hoo!!!

[peacedollar]

why did you lose your job?, bc of trying to clean or did you get laid off?  sorry for the position you'e in. you are on the right road...ask for help any way you can including family....if you were fired you can qualify for unemployment benefits....that money can help alot...you need to get up and about..and you have 3 kids, you can do it, but again ask  for help from those close by.

[Ben727]

What IBK said. And don't forget that it's very important that you make positive changes in your life. You can't expect to quit your DOC and to go back to the exact same routine you had before you quit. You need to try to replace the false positive feedback you got from the drug with other things, things which are ultimately good for you. Exercise is basically the main thing for me. But getting clean friends is critical as you really don't want to feel isolated. Meetings or support groups are worth a look. I have friends with kids who get a lot from mom's groups. A hobby is good, a hobby that makes you money is best :) Keep your commitment strong, and remember the reasons you quit in the first place. It will get better!

[tryinsohardtokickit]

Youve made it farther than me. Ive been clean 15 days. Home alone with two kids all day. I have to find a job soon or we will be on the streets. So I know the stress. But 35 days is great. Your time to be better is coming soon. You can so do this. I know of these dark days. I wake up every morn with sharp pains in my stomach and feelin like im going to throw up. Once i goto thr bathroom. Today in my town its all snowy and foggy out. But im abt to take myself out to look for a job anyways. Best of lck to you.

[IBKleen]

Tiger, you will hate the word but you have to give it time. You will get back to your old self. You didn't get sick overnight and you won't get well overnight. Be patient and keep busy. It will pass. Whatever you do just don't use.

[YesLife4Me]

Im sorry you are struggling.   Some people seem to take longer to recover than others.  Are you still taking the Immodium?   I had to rely on it for quite some time.  Seemed like everything I ate went right through me, although it was mornings that it always hit me...like right after waking up, so getting out of bed, I knew what was coming within the next half hour.  :(    The Immodium helped make it not so bad.  

Is there any way for you to get out of the house?   Being home all day seems to make things worse.   As far as bills go, try not to stress too much about them, because you can only do what you can do and worrying isn't going to make them go away.   You can talk to utility companies about payment arrangements too.  Also your community services consortium can sometimes help with paying them too if you meet their income guidelines.  

Sometimes when things seem to be darkest it means there is light around the corner.   Hang onto that hope..it is what keeps us all moving forward.  This too shall pass.  

[PrincessLynn30]

I WISH I NEW WHAT TO SAY I'M SO SORRY. IM ON DAY ONE AND READING THIS SCARES THE HELL OUT OF ME.  BUT IT'S FOR THE BEST. I'LL SAY A PRAYER FOR YOU DON'T GIVE UP PLEASE!!!

[adexec181]

Am right there with you Tiger...am only on day 25 but in the same boat.  Totally alone and isolated and have had two really bad days just now.  Am getting tired if the monotony of all of this...just anxious to feel like myself again, and frustrated that it is taking so long when I feel like I'm doing everything right.  But I keep trying to remind myself that it took longer than a month to get into this bad place to begin with and it will take time to get...just need some encouragement to help along the way especially during these bad days.
I am amazed that you've done 35 days, alone, and with kids to take care of and all of the financial stuff.  You need to be really proud if what you've accomplished so far...and 1 more day clean is another of the kids having their Mom back...so good for you.  Hang in there...take time to heal yourself and if you do, the future will be brighter and the other issues will be easier to manage.  If can, focus on today's accomplishments and not the overwhelming future stuff...at least that's what I keep trying to tell myself (with limited success..but trying!!!).  Let us know how're you're doing, and I think you are maxing for what you've done so far!