TRYING TO QUIT HYDROCODONE, BUT CANT

[Johnnie77]

A little over a year ago, the doctor told me that I would need surgery on my left knee because of a torn miniscus.  He put me on hydrocodone at 5/500 at up to 8 pills per day for almost a year.  After the surgery, I tried to stop cold turkey, but I couldn't.  I realized that I became addicted to the drug.  I couldn't sleep, my joints were jerking all around during the night, my eyes were costantly watery and always had a runny nose, but the worse was the depression and axiety which was hard to bear.  I felt hopeless and unmotivated and didn't find interest in anything.   I went to my doctor, who helped me ween myself off of them (not the same doctor that prescribed them in the first place.).  I finally got off of them and was off for about two months until I went on a business trip and a friend of mine gave me 5 pills, which were even stronger than the ones I was taking before at 10/500.  That night, I went through all of them, since I realized that feeling of euphoria that I longed for.  That was my mistake.  When I came back from my trip a couple of days later, this friend of mine could get me as many as I wanted at $3 a piece.  I purchased 50 of them, and they lasted about a week.  When I ran out, his connection was gone, so I tried to quit, but couldn't bear the withdrawals.  I started going to the hospital emergency room and making up stories about having pain so the doctors kept prescribing me what I needed.  I've done that four times in the past month, and I know that it is wrong, not to mention, illegal.  I want to quit for good.  I have a seven year old son and a wife who's five months pregnant with our daughter.  I don't want my kids to have a junkie for a father.  Today, I got a new prescription of about 30 pills of 5/500 hydrocodones and took three of them instantly, just to relieve the depression.  What should I do. Please help.

[TakingAction]

You and I share very similar stories.  I too would venture to the ER with some pain or another in order to score some pills.  Afterwards, I would always feel guilty.  The good news is that you are well aware that you are doing a bad thing, and yes illegal.  

It usually takes a few times to get this whole sobriety thing right.  See if your doctor will help you taper down, or just go cold turkey if possible.  I know the withdrawls are scary, but you will get through it.  There are many tools available to you to help you mangafe the symptoms and get you feeling better faster than you think.  We will all help you get through it.  You got this.  Feel free to private message me if you need to talk.

Matt

[LostRy510]

ive realized i can never take them again as well. ive quit a few time and then thought i would be able to take just a couple and be ok. but nope. everytime i fall right back into living hell. so this last time which is now.. i am 2 days clean after weening myself off of them and i feel great but i also realized i can never even take 1 ever again, even if i get surgery im asking for something else or nothing. im done.. this last withdrawel i had on sunday monday tuesday and wednesday of this week was the worst one yet. especially emotionally. im done and i think you are too. i can tell. just use these to ween your self now. i would maybe even get rid of half. just prepare yourself for a few days of hell and get it over with and dont look back. you can do it.

[broknbck]

well what worked last time??
you will need to wean down again. you should be pretty good at this.
are you trying to perfect the art of withdrawl?? sorry for the sarcasm.
but this time i am sure that you realize, you just cannot ever take them again. no ifs ands or butts.