hey. I am only 2 days in. we can knock this out together. Make that commitment no more pills
Hi & Welcome,
Addiction is nothing to be embarrassed about. I always tell people that the kid that mows your lawn, the clerk bagging your groceries or the nurse at your doctor's office could all well be addicts. Addiction takes all prisoners. So many people say "I have a beautiful home. I work every day at a great job, etc., etc." It doesn't matter with addiction. Addiction takes the rich and the poor; it takes the black and the white; and it takes the Christians and the Muslims. So please don't be embarrassed.
While tapering is helpful to lessen the effects of your detox, just like so many addicts you waited until you have your last pill and then begin the process.
I will tell you to get all of that negativity our of your mind. "I know the hell that lies ahead" is so very negative and it WILL effect your detox process. Focus on getting your life back, your marriage on track and being a mother to your children. Those little pills have haunted you and now you being a new life. That is all positive. Keep your thoughts on that.
When you begin to detox tell us what your symptoms are and we can give you suggestions on how to make that process easier. Hang in there young lady and keep going forward. It will get better. that is a promise.
Keep posting. This is a great place for support.
Thank you so much for your support! I wish you all the luck on your journey. I'm glad I found someone who I can go through this with, as no one in my life(besides my husband) knows about it. I'll keep you posted. Stay strong!
Hello! Thank you for your response, it's truly appreciated. Thankfully, I have been able to sustain a wonderful relationship with my husband, he's wonderful and have been able to continue to be the best mother I can be and they have no idea the secret life I've been living. The problem is when I don't have it, I'm not functional and the money spend is ridiculous. I am embarrassed because I know I am the one who got myself here. But I've vowed that this is the end for this part of my life. I only said hell that awaits me because I've experienced mild w/d in the past and it was not fun at all. I am positive because I am happy to finally know for sure I will have a new beginning. Just scared because it's been my life for the past year. Thank you for your support. I am determined to beat this, that's why I specifically took this week off from work and my husband and I have come up with a plan as far as the children's extracurricular activites. You guys don't understand how much your support and comments truly mean to me, because now I no longer feel alone! Thank you so much.
Embarrassment if for those who don't have the guts to admit they are addict.. well the next five days wont be fun but its not impossible just stock up on some vitamins and minerals lots of liquids I like green Gatorade then tell the kids mom has the flu and if pops knows the deal let him take care of the house best he can if things are in order oh well... just think messy house ahhh addicted to pain killers Ahhh Ill take the house just stay here and everyone will help you out as best we can..
Hi!! Oh hun, you are so not alone. We all know exactly how your feeling, you've come to the right place for support. Like you, towards the end of my addiction, I too was taking them just to function in everyday life. Oh and the money I spent, well we won't even go there,lol. It's gonna be rough for a week or so, but hang in there! Just when you think it won't get better, it does. You deserve to live a life free of pills, and your family will appreciate that too, mine sure did. Good luck to you, take care!
I am so sorry, I forgot to ask you how you are feeling and what's helping you get through it? I've heard about the Thomas recipe that I am going to try and hopefully it helps. I hope you're doing ok. I'm rooting for you!!! :)
You're absolutely right. I have accepted the fact that I may be "out of commision" for a few days, but this is what I need to do to get on the path to sobriety. Your words and support mean a lot to me. Thank you!
Thank you, just knowing I'm not alone gives me hope. As supportive as my husband is, he doesn't truly understand what I'm going through. I've decided to take my life back and while I know it won't be easy, I am determined to be done for good. My journey begins at 5pm tonight. I'm actually at baseball right now with my kiddos. And when I get home tonight, my new life begins :) You all are so wonderful and my heart feels so much better having this support. I will post my progress once the symptoms actually start. Thank you truly, from the bottom of my heart!
You sound very well informed. That's a plus for you. It's an indication of how you approach problem solving.
As for what you can do , well, IMO there's not a lot. Imodium is essential. There are procurser amino acid supplements that some use. Creature comforts like showers, baths, favorite foods are good. I'm not talking about a shower in the evening. I took like 4 - 6 showers a day for the first few days. Food is very personal. Some can't eat much of anything. Make sure your diet is complete. You need a full compliment of nutrients to repair your brain. This may be ensure or juicing or just well balanced diet. There is one thing that you may face, rebound pain. I have problem knees that got worse when I quit drugs. Even suboxone had a pain killing effect. I've found that NSAIDS like Alleve and Motrin are actually very effective for many kinds of pain, sometimes more effective than narcotics.
IBKleen made a comment about attitude. You said "I know what hell lies ahead of me". I'm not going to minimize the withdrawal effects. They are unpleasant but they are not hell. They last a week. The lack of energy may last a month or even two. But there's every indication that most fully recover from opiate dependency. I have a good friend on his third stint with cancer. He's 33years old. The chemo seems to be every bit as hard as opiate withdrawal and there's no guarantee that he's even going to live. I'm very thankful I didn't have to face that. Take on this task like a mission. Take no prisoners. Success is the only acceptable outcome.
Now let's talk a little about embarrassment. You were prescribed what is essentially synthetic heroin and a tranquilizer with very well known addictive qualities. There was no plan on what was going to be done at the end, to help you stop using these addictive drugs. How do I know that? Because there NEVER is. In a way you were setup. In a more perfect world only docs who had been through withdrawals would be allowed to prescribe them. This is not a character issue. Some of the strongest people I've met are reformed addicts. You don't have the time or energy to spend on this. Or the need.
My best wishes to you.
I think you have a good prognosis. I would ask one thing. If you struggle with this that you will continue to post here. You won't let embarrassment get in the way of solving this problem. We can help. Each one of us has been there.
One last thing. You were buying drugs on the street. You must end those relationships. It's imperative. Ditch the phone numbers. Ask for your husband's help with this if necessary. The allure of relief from withdrawals just by calling your dealer can be too much temptation. This is a critical step that is always advised to anyone buying drugs from a non-traditional source.
Hello, I am so very sorry for what your friend is enduring. I know that there are many people in the world who are suffering from things way worse than I am, but for me, being as weak as I feel, it's my own little hell that I've created. But that I will also be getting out of. Like you mentioned, this is in my control and I have already made up my mind. Just got my B-6 vitamin, multi- mineral supplement, potassium supplement, immodium, and my valium. I'm ready to take this head on. I'm not going to lie, I'm terrified, because as a mother I must still be at least slightly functional because I must get my children ready and on the bus in the morning. But I'm ready to use whatever strength and will power I have left to fight against it. Funny thing is I never met any of the dealers, I'm too nervous of a person to ever make a "drug deal", it was done through an associate, with whom I explained the "friend" I was buying for was giving it up. (No one ever knew it was for me) Deleted the number. No other association. Thank you for your comments and support, hopefully I'll feel well enough to post tomorrow! Goodnight to everyone! You all are such kind-hearted, selfless people!!!
I was going to bring up chemo in another thread. Having been thru both myself, I must tell you, chemo was much worse. But still, it wasn't as bad as I had thought, and I got thru it. 17 years ago, yay. But still there worse things. Thought patterns like this will take you very far. Its not about willpower, but about the power of the mind. And there isn't one good reason why you can't do what the rest of us have! You go girl!
Thank you for the kind words about my friend. The reason I brought it up is that what you are facing is totally doable. Sounds like the illicit supply issue isn't an issue and that's good. I think a warrior mindset helps. Failure is not an option and all that stuff. :-)). Do your best. The rewards are very much worth it.
Good afternoon everyone. I have heard day 1 isn't that bad, which it hasnt been yet, I'm fighting psychologically with myself. I knew I'd have an issue with the mental aspect. It's as if I have the two voices in my head, one telling me "just one will make you whole again" and the other one saying "remember why you made this choice." I knew the mental aspect would be my worst enemy. I'm home alone and have slept most of the day but I really hate this. I hope after these 7 days I've taken off and gone through this mental anguish, I don't ever have to go through this ever again.
You might still have cravings after 7 days, but lets get you through this first week.
I, too, was prescribed opiates by my well-meaning doctor, with NO exit strategy. In fact, he was so woefully ignorant of withdrawals, that when I said to him, after EIGHT YEARS of taking prescribed oxycodone every day "I want to stop taking these pills" , his response was "Well, just taper down by 1 a day (I was taking 4-10 mg pills) and you'll be fine.
I was NOT fine. The first 4 days were rocky. It was like having a bad tummy flu. On day 7, I remember so clearly coming on here and writing "WHY am I still having symptoms?"
It all depends on length of use, age, your health, etc. I'm older than you, and took the pills for much longer than you did. The honest truth is, I didn't turn a corner until day 14. However, I developed a new symptom, a cough, that scared the bejeezus out of me. It lasted for MONTHS. I went for xrays, had pulmonary function tests, all normal. Just a side effect of my brain waking up after being stoned on pills for so many years.
It really is an outrage that the medical community doesn't have more training on the potential risks of prescribing pain medication. There should be mandatory counseling before anyone is given opiates; people need to be WARNED about what can happen, and how NOT to fall into the pit of dependency and addiction.
But then again, I find most MD's to be pretty stupid when it comes to pharmacology. Most doctors get their info from drug reps, and will give you the latest drug because they receive incentives to do so (Big Pharma companies send physicians to the Bahamas, get them box seats to their favorite ball game, take them out to expensive dinners, etc. JUST in an effort to get the doctor to write "X" number of scripts for the latest-and-greatest drug.)
We end up having to be our own advocates & gate-keepers of our health.
That voice in your head telling you "just take one, and you'll be whole." That is an EVIL voice...it is named Mrs. Addiction. (I'm making your addiction female, 'cause you are!) When you hear that voice, tell HER to stick it where the sun doesn't shine.
You'll make it; you're smart, informed, motivated, and you have things to distract you. Keeping busy is SO important, once you're over the initial physical symptoms. Down-time is dangerous....trust me.
Good luck to you hon. Stick around here...it's a great place with wonderful people.
I honestly am beginning to feel defeated. Just the thought about how long the craving will last, kills me. I am dealing with the normal w/d symptoms, sweats, chills, runs, aches, sleeplessness. And I feel like it just doesnt seem worth going through this all if there is a chance I may relapse. I am not strong enough mentally. I know i need to think positive, but waking up everyday, my routine would be get up, take one to relieve my excruciating pain(slightly) then wait for a second dose to completely relive me pain. Yesterday, it was just day 1and i wanted to cave. Just wanted one for this morning to get the kids ready and off for school. I just don't know what to do. I'm torn...
Hang in there! I'm on day 58 off of a long stint on hydrocodone. The reality is, I have much less pain today than when I was on the pain meds! It is so totally worth the withdrawals. Also, you eventually will have to quit - one way or another. You're already on day 2 and in the middle of withdrawal - and you're still alive! I know it's tough, but get outside and take a short walk. It will make you feel amazing, at least for a bit. All those natural endorphins have been asleep for a long time and by getting out, you're body will help wake them up. I had a mantra going through my head during my detox "I can do this, it's not that bad." The next thing I knew, I was through a whole week. I started feeling a lit better between day 3-4. Not great, just better. Every day since then has gotten better and better. I'm not saying it don't have a bad day here and there, but I remind myself that people who never took pain meds have bad days too. Aftercare is essential and will help with the mental part of withdrawal. Keep posting - we're all here praying and rooting for you!
One is too many, and 1000 is not enough. If you take one now its just going to wear off in a couple of hours. Then what will you do? When the cravins come, just think it through past the initial "relief" thought. If you just wait on the feeling, it will pass. And as long as you don't have anything in the house or on order somewhere, you will be okay. If your friend who buys for you is a real friend, he or she will not give in to your pleas. Otherwise, delete and block the number.
My biggest challenge, I guess which has and is almost everyone's worst struggle is the mental part. Daily fighting in my head, knowing how easy it would be to just give up. I don't want to and i am really trying, the worst part of this ordeal is not being the mommy I normally am. It's only been since Sunday and they miss me. Even though I'm in the same house, but I've missed their games, homework, bonding time. It's killing me and hurting them. This is the worst thing I have ever allowed into my life. As I've said before, if I could go back to that day, I'd refuse them all together.
Also CONGRATULATIONS. on your 58days! That is truly amazing. I am so happy for you and can imagine it has not been easy, but keep up the fantastic work! XoXo
Hi! Yes, my psychological w/d and cravings have been horrible. I honestly think in my opinion it's worse than the physical w/d. The associate, not friend, I used to get them from always thought it was for a friend of mine. No one has known about this other than my husband. It was just way too embarrassing. The way the people in my world look up to me as a mother, hard worker, strong community relationships, I could never let anyone know the real secret behind this "superwoman". I'm trying, really really hard. I really hope I can get through this because I return to work on Monday. Thanks for the support.
You're welcome. You have no idea how many perfectly normal moms are stuck on these things being superwomen. Myself formerly included. There is no such thing. What it really is is you working yourself into the ground (6 feet under) doing everything for everyone all the time. Of course you don't feel any pain cause of the meds, and don't realize the damage you are doing to yourself. The kids may miss you now, but what if you were gone permanently? You literally take your life in your hands when messing with the pills. You are doing this so they will have a happy healthy mommy they deserve. Its ok to let go for a week.
How is it going this morning?
By far the worst day. Physical w/d definitely beat me down today and I've been so afraid it's because I set myself back with that pill yesterday. I didn't even have the strength to send my children to school. There goes their perfect attendance thanks to mommy of the year. I don't know anymore, I guess I never really did. Just feeling terrible and want this to end. Thanks for checking in. You've truly been amazing.