Help needed

[mother09]

Hi My son is 22 and has been struggling with opiate addiction for over 5 years, starting with oxy, moving to heroine, he has been in and out of detox, treatment and nothing has helped--he is most recently out of a detox went into a "soberhouse" and is now home withdrawing from about a week of heroine, then methadone and subloxine--he has started the amino acid protocol, he is still unable to sleep along with leg pain--any suggestions--he has been drug free for 5 days today and has been on the amino protocol for 4 days, the inability to sleep and the leg pain is causing him anxiety
help! Please

[mother09]

he is right now angry with himself--he says he wants to be clean--he does not have the strenght to get thru the pain to get to a better place, its easier to take a pill or whatever than to feel like ****--he is going to go back to counseling this week and back to meetings, he has reached out to a friend of mine who has been clean for a long time from alcohol and has a great network of sober friends.....he has also found a friend from years ago who is 9 months clean and is going to try to connect with him...he is continuing the amino protocol and is adding stiuff that you all have suggested, i told him to get into this forum as it can help---being able to talk and to hear from others who have and are feeling the pain....thanks again for all of your support---and stay true to your sobriety it is a blessing youhave worked hard to achieve keep strong!  my thoughts are with you!!!

[gizzy32]

There is a lady on here named LizzieLou that could give you some great advice, she had 3 sons that are addicts. Again I am so sorry your going through this with him, it is sad. He really needs to help himself and he's not. Like I said above, if he is around friends that are using and dealers he won't quit, that is very important. Please keep posting, we are here to support you also take care.

[mother09]

so what is tough love? do i kickhim out? my fear os thathis rock bottom will be death! i know that facts that he needs to hit hos rock bottom, that he needs to want it bad--but knowing that does not make it eaiser--- and what does it mean enable him, giving him a place to live-food-shelter? i do give in and give him the car though i have taken his car off the road, taken awy his cell--dont give him money.....i have told him if he wants to use then he needs to leave he can not use here,if he wants help i will help but i willnot help him use...i am lost frustrated...but know it is him that is truly suffering, inpain, sick, hurting....i wish i could take it and make it mine...but i cant...i pray he wants it bad enought and will get it some day...in the mean time it is slow painful torture, that no person should have to bear--being an addict in my eyes is the worse disease the worse thing any person could have to face...to all who are working to stay clean i congratulate you and hope for you...

[cathy5841]

i am sorry, i know you are disappointed.  for seem reason as addicts we "just dont get it" alot.   think of the positive here..at least he did NOT use heroin/oxy.  the truth is, until he reaches his rock bottom and is willing to pay the price for his sobriety, it wont happen.  you can put him in the best rehab for as long as you want and he will use again until he bottoms out.  unforunately for some that bottom is really bad.  do not enable him...there has to be consequences for what he does.  it may be time for some tough love.  he alone is responsible for his addiction and his recovery.  no matter how bad YOU want it, it wont be til HE wants it that bad.  it is hard for those of us who want it that bad..for those that dont, they wont make it.  make him take responsibility for his actions.  have you gone to al-anon?  they may be able to help you...i will pray for you both.

[mother09]

yeah weell he told me he took meth yesterday for the leg pains--i just dont get it, 5 days without it could only get better, now he is back to day 1, why is that so difficult for him to understand--yeah i know an addict but WTF! i am a little bit angry at him right now well not a little a lot--dont know what to do to help him--dont know if he can be helped--today he is sick and angry and cranky help please

[mother09]

thanks again
he is in bed now with stomache pains--not sure whay this is taking so long today is day 6 but then again with an addict who knows-he went out yesterday for a few hours but with no money but that means nothing--if he used anything i am thinking it was a subloxone or methadone as he did not have the herioine/oxy look that i have come to known and fear, or maybe he did not use anything and this is part of it, the never knopwing , never trusting, is  akiller for me as a mom!  i cant lock him in the house though i would love to be able to ..i toook the week off from work to get him through this-but i do need to go back on monday and i am in constant fear that his not feeling okay will get the best of him, or the voice in his head that says using will make him feel "normal"  if he did get a subloxone or a meth then i will know tomorrow as he will be sicker than he is today....it ***** having to see him get sicker to know where he is at whether it is part of the detoxing or it is yet another relapse for a quick feel better---

[gizzy32]

I am sorry your son is going through addiction, it must be heartbreaking for you. I just wanted to comment on the part you said about his friends are addicts or dealers. I can honestly say that if I was still around the people that I used with and saw dope all the time, it wouldn't matter what rehab or meeting I went to, I would not be clean. I had to get rid of a lot of friends for my sobriety. He does need some help, some type of rehab again I think. Maybe for a start, would he be willing to come on here? Good luck and keep us posted.

[mother09]

thank you everyone for your help and support he has tried all sorts of treatment, recovery, meetings and is just having a hard time stayoing clean for more than a month-the longest he was clean was in long term treatment ( he did 9 months) and then left...he is getting antsy but he has no life "clean" as he has been abusing for so long-all his "friends" are either addicts or dealers--he has tried n/a counseling......but it does not seem to work for him, he does great when he is in a program but learnng to be clean on the streets is really hard for him....i will have him try the suggestions posted--thanks again and stay safe!

[10356]

Oh yes Tonic water has quinine in it.. I have a friends who just came off heroin and they said it helped..

[10356]

You also my try Hylands restful leg.. you can get it at walmart I was surprised at how much it helped with the rls.. I wish your son well and just want to say .. You are a Great Mom.. lesa

[cathy5841]

i forgot to mention it is very important for your son to get involoved in some longterm aftercare....na/aa or a therapist...it is essential to success in recovery.

[LJGsmom]

I know how hard it is to know your child is suffering but he will be okay.  When my daughter was in withdrawal she had a potassium deficiency which may have contributed to her leg cramping.  Calcium and magnesium deficiencies can also cause cramping.  Make sure your son gets a good multi-vitamin with minerals.  My daughter got her potassium deficiency addressed in the hospital and ate bananas for potassium when she got home too. There may be potassium in sports drinks too but I am not sure.  Although she had my stomach in knots with her screaming and sobbing over withdrawal symptoms, my daughter did get through it and is now moving on with support.  I will keep you and your son in my prayers.

[cathy5841]

as an addict and the mom of an addict i can feel your pain.  i dont have any experience with heroine, but the oxy i know about.  the sleep issue affects most opiate addicts during w/d.  it will make you feel crazy...try some otc sleep aids..maybe sleepytime tea.  for the leg pain, hot baths with epsom salt, and eat bananas for potassium...and i know you will think i am crazy, but exercise...even just a short walk to start out ten work up from there.  you are a good mom to help him through this. good luck to him.