Aa
Aa
A
A
A
Close
Avatar universal

Heroin Addict

Hello out there-

I was hoping someone could give me some advice.  My boyfriend of 9 years is a severe heroin addict.  As far as I know, he started using about 6 years ago.  He supposively has been on and off the drugs.  He has been completly detoxed with some kind of surgery and has also tried methadone.  I really believed he was no longer using heroin until we went to Jamaica for a week together.  The airline lost his bag and in his bag was his detox pills from the doctor.  He became very ill and admitted to me what was going on.  I am not a drug user and find this very hard to take.  He is currently laid off from his job and lives at my house.  I pay all of the bills and find my situation very frustrating.  I just caught him this morning shooting up in his truck outside of my condo.  I could see inside his truck from my bedroom window and clearly saw what he was doing.  He has withdrawn over $600.00 from his bank account.  I am not sure what I should do.  I do love him but do not want his HIV diseases.  Can anyone out there give me some advice?  Do I kick him out of my house?  He refuses to go check himself in to a treatment center. Someone please help!  Thank you.
7 Responses
Sort by: Helpful Oldest Newest
Avatar universal
Hi, ur story sounds just like mine!!! Only my EX's choice of drugs were painkillers. After 5 yrs of abuse from him I finally was able to do what I couldn't b4 and that was let him go. He used me, lied, cheated on me, stole all my money and allowed everyone of his friends and family to disrespect me! I loved him so much and would have done anything for him and I DID!!!! November of last year I finally told his family to take him away...they were so blind and in denial till he finally almost died and I was there to save him....of course I was!!!! After he left I FINALLY felt a sense of peace....he destroyed not only himself but he destroyed me and who I was. I became a detective...living everyday always checking everything, emails ,phone logs, every inch of his house,car...it was horrible!!!! I thank God everyday that he is far away from me because now his family finally knows what it was like for me. A year has gone by and his family thinks he stopped but I know he hasn't...they r still so blind!!!! Well tables turned and now he wants to make EVERYTHING UP TO ME......not possible!!!! Never possible!!! What he did to me in the process of his own destruction can never be 4gotten or 4given. I know I sound very angry and that's because I am!!!! I gave him everything and he gave me nothing but heartache. Did I love him...yes I did, did he love me ....I'm sure but was to messed up to see what he had in me till now, well now is way 2 late. I hope he stops using and lives a happy life but it will never be with me although he thinks that. I have found love again with an amazing man and now finally know what it feels like to be treated the way I should. People who takes drugs are addicts yes but I feel are nothing but selfish!!!! If u have a problem and recognize it get help b4 u destroy the one or ones that love u the most because in all honesty I "we" are the ones who suffer the most!!!!!!!!!! U can only stand by someone for so long b4 u let them completely destroy u as well!!!!!  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I HAVE BEEN IN THE SAME SITUATION AS YOUR BOYFRIEND. I WAS A HEROIN USER FOR ALMOST 8 YEARS. AND LET ME TELL YOU HE WILL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET THE MOEY TO GET STRAIGHT. HE IS NOT TRYING TO HURT YOU. IT IS ALL THE DRUGS THAT ARE MAKING HIM DO ALL THIS. AND IF YOU REALLY LOVE HIM I WOULD PROBALY SAY TO STICK BY HIM AND HE WILL EVENTUALLY CONE AROUND.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you for sharing your story with me.  Sounds like you had a very tuff road.   Congratualtions on getting and staying clean.  I pray every day and night that the law catches him before death does.  I def. will go get a blood test for HIV and Hept. C.  I still do not understand why anyone would want to do a drug that makes them feel that good?  I have had my fair share of expermienting but never with heroin.  I enjoy doing cocaine every once in awhile but know that is all it can be; every once in awhile (once a year, if that).  I also love smoking pot but do not let it control my life.  My ex says I have no room to talk because of this.  Maybe he is right to some degree but my life isn't in jeopardy either.  Thank you again for writing to me.  Best of luck to you.  Joni  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
First I'm very proud of you that you have your integrity and independents with a splash of kindness that has prevailed.. I would also advice getting a blood test for both Hep C and HIV if only to bring you comfort as junkies will share needles when desperate.. It took so very much for me to stop.. I had even lost a kidney and continued to use. It was not until some real bad stuff came down with the law that I had quit.. and I did that on the run hitchhiking through the lower U.S for a couple of years.. Yet when I came back I started shooting crank.. this lasted for another couple of years. then one day it was like a gift I was watching my crank partner shooting and it was like my vision was crystal clear and the ugliness of it became so clear it shocked my senses.. much like you must have felt seeing what you did.. I was asked if I wanted some turned them down.. I will never forget what he said.. that takes a lot of strength.. I went out and coped more for them was offered a share turned it down and never looked back to street drugs again.. This did not stop my addiction though.. I have used pills booze to extremes.. When I had crushed my foot the drugs I was given I took to extremes till it almost fried my brain only then did I receive help through a phyc. I'm clean now for 7 months I think :) a 4 year straight ride on the addiction train.. the only reason I'm clean is I received the psychiatric care I needed to straighten out my past.. I now have hep C stage 2 liver disease and at stage 3 for my one kidney.. everybody is different but when we are addicts there is a underlining reason that has nothing to do with you.. It is very difficult for a non addict to understand my own husband has problems in this area but the difference is I want to be clean happy and have stable moods most of all I want to live.. I believe you dodged a bullet as you sound competent and intelligent.. Do not ever settle the future is yours for the taking..
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Thank you for the advice.  I posted this ad about a 2 weeks ago but apparently in the wrong section.  Since, I have kicked him out of my house and have had no contact with him.  I know he is still using or he would of tried to contact me.  I let his mother know of his relapse and pray she can help him.  I hate this drug and everything about it.  It stole the love of my life away from me.  I have heard of alanon and thought about going.  But, I am a very independent, attractive girl and do not want to keep my self in the situation any longer.  He has always sworn he has never used dirty needles.  I am not sure if I beleive that or not.  You mentioned that you where addicted to heroin.  How did you finally stop using?  Thanks for writing.  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Hello and welcome to the forum.. I'm very sorry to read of your pain and betrayal.. As a junkie it sounds as if he has a large habit going and you have every right to be afraid of HIV and Hep C.. most junkies share needles at one time or another.. You have lived with his addiction for a long time. I can say he will never get clean until he really wants to more then he can even breath.. as a junkie your first love is Heroin.. My question to you is why you are playing second fiddle to his love.. If I had all my bills payed a bed to sleep in food when I did eat I would have never gotten off the H. In my honest opinion you are enabling him by providing a convenient life style.. as addicts we have to hit bottom.. I have slept under bridges and in abandoned cars and gave up more then some can bare for me to hit bottom.. You Deserve to be loved and respected first and for most.. Your home should be respected.. maybe tough love will make him see the light.. Be honest tell him you love him but you love him so much you are not willing to watch him kill himself and kick him out.. He is a adult.. support is great but 6 years of it is extreme when it comes to Heroin.. also alanon is a group of wife's girlfriends kids what have you that have partners that are addicts.. check this out on line. I'm sure you will receive good advice.. My heart goes out to you as it is never easy to watch someone you love self destruct.. but nobody benefits if you also join him in ruining your future emotionally and financially.. I sincerely wish you well..  lesa
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. It is hard watching someone kill themselves and not want to get better...my dad is an alcoholic. You cannot make him better..HE has to want it on his own. You can give ultimatums  and most people will choose the drug over the loved one. It is not an easy thing to go through but you have to know it is the drug talking and acting not him.

It is slow at night and on the weekends but there will be some others to answer  your post that can give some better advice. Hang in there.
Helpful - 0
Have an Answer?

You are reading content posted in the Addiction: Substance Abuse Community

Top Addiction Answerers
495284 tn?1333894042
City of Dominatrix, MN
Avatar universal
phoenix, AZ
Learn About Top Answerers
Didn't find the answer you were looking for?
Ask a question
Popular Resources
Is treating glaucoma with marijuana all hype, or can hemp actually help?
If you think marijuana has no ill effects on your health, this article from Missouri Medicine may make you think again.
Julia Aharonov, DO, reveals the quickest way to beat drug withdrawal.
Tricks to help you quit for good.
A list of national and international resources and hotlines to help connect you to needed health and medical services.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.