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1127420 tn?1262197520

Hi guys, just an update and as usual, asking for advice.

Hi everyone. So my sitch is I'm a 23 year old drug addict, my drug of choice is vicodin. I have been on and off for 2 years and a heavy user for 6 months, taking about 75-100mg daily. I haven't had one clean day in the past 6 months. I have been doing a taper and have been able to stay around 7/7.5mg pills (or about 52mg) daily for some time now. I know that doesn't sound great, but I used to be taking 10-12 so I'm trying damnit!! Haha, so here's what I'm doing: I am still working on my taper but I'm going to try to be done by next week, I can't draw it out any longer. This weekend I got everything Ill need for the Thomas withdrawl cure, and I'm going to see what I can do. Tomorrow I'm hopefully going to take only 4 vics, then only 2 on Tues. Then I'm kinda just gona plunge, which I know will hurt and suck, but I think with all the things I have to suppliment the withdrawl I should be ok? Once I'm through the worst of it I plan on attending daily NA classes to help if I can fit them in between work and school. I am super busy getting my masters and working several jobs, I think that's why Ive post-poned detox for so long. I'm not super scared anymore, I just want my life back. What do you guys think? Any advice/encouragement for me?
25 Responses
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Avatar universal
Jump!
Helpful - 0
992117 tn?1281206055
Try not to build it up too much in your mind, because you can psych yourself out and make it worse.  Will it be fun?  No.  But it is doable, and you will be feeling great in no time.  I am 23 days clean from a 2 year norco habit of 6-10 per day, and I feel amazing.  When I wake up in the morning, I can go live my life without needing my daily dose.  I understand that it is hard to do it alone (most of us have), but keep posting here and we'll be there for you :)  Congrats on your decision to jump tomorrow!  Your first day of freedom awaits . . .
Helpful - 0
1127420 tn?1262197520
I wish one of you was physically here with me right now. I am scared.
Helpful - 0
1127420 tn?1262197520
I'm jumping tomorrow. I can't taper, I def don't have the willpower and you guys are right, it's killing me to keep bouncing back and forth. Tomorrow is my jump day merely cuz I can't take this anymore!!! Plus I have the next two days off from work. Soo here goes I guess. I took my last vic at 6pm tonight.
Helpful - 0
983679 tn?1276833336
i dont EVER say to taper, i think its prolonging whats to come( excluding health issues or meds that CLEARLY need to be tapered...methadone, sub, tram..) but if its for you , atleast do it right, dropping like you are is going to be as painfull as c/t and only last a day or two longer....just slow down or jump
Helpful - 0
1091472 tn?1268845655
Okay I agree, sorry Lee.  So Colleen are thinking about continuing to taper or are you going ahead with your plan to jump tomorrow?  Is there a reason why you chose tomorrow for the day?  For the first time ever I think I agree with Lee on the taper.  You've been doing vic's for a long time, it doesn't have to be as hardcore as c/t will be ya know?  
Helpful - 0
983679 tn?1276833336
I am sorry if i made you felt singled out, that was not what i wanted, but to me it seemed you singled her out. All is past now, lets help this young girl get clean!!
Helpful - 0
983679 tn?1276833336
lmfao!!! Thank you for what you said...about "rather see a pic of someone smilling and tryin to get clean" cause you are SO right. The last thing I am going to say to OIFMc09...by the sound of your post, you are having a bad day, bad days are our enemy" please go attend a meeting, MOST here are a good group of people and knocking a young girl for putting up her pics..(which bty...she is HOTT!! and i am gay, so i have nothing to gain from that comment) is rude. When people find this site, we are often ALL they have at the time, and sometimes they want us to really know them, understand them, even be able to vision who we are talking to, I Thank her for posting pics!! Now moving on cabgurl" I see in one of your post that you are using the thomas recipe, it will help. you are tapering and thats good, but i think you should slow down, dropping as fast as you are is not going to help, the w/ds are still going to hit 100%, you need to slow down to about a pill a week, and when you get down to about 3 a day, drop a 1/2 every 3 or 4 days. Also break ALL your pills in halfs, it helps...MIND OVER MATTER--you feel like you are takin more, and at the very end when you are down to one pill, be sure to take atleast 1/2 RIGHT before bed so you can sleep, do that for about a week, after that, drop to just the 1/2 a day and take that 1/2 at night ONLY that will help you sleep, If you read through the post you will see that MOST people suffer the greatest with the sleep issue(no sleep=no energy). Good luck, KEEP POSTING...And upload all the pics you want to!!
Helpful - 0
1091472 tn?1268845655
Why am I being singled out here.  Jeeeeeeeez whatever...Lee you win....Gizzy I'd make a cute girl....great thank you.  Alright it was kind of a dickhead thing to say to her.  I'm sorry Colleen please keep the pictures coming.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I am gonna keep this nice, but it's not easy, lol. I would rather see a pic of somone smiling and trying to get clean, than all the other negative stuff we have to go through with addiction. OIFMc09, with all due respect, being negative about someone putting up a picture is ridiculous. Why does this anger you? Insecure eh? With longer hair, you could be a  cute girl lol. Please just try to be positive on here, there is enough pain with what we go through as you already know. Best of luck in your recovery and if you don't like the pic then don't look.

Keep posting cabgurl, this is a great support group. Good luck.
Helpful - 0
1127420 tn?1262197520
Thanks for all your support. I don't understand the issue, but I'm not here to talk about pictures, I'm here (unfortunately) to talk about my horrible addiction. The one that I'm totally ashamed of and hate everyday. But, somehow, its getting better. I really appreciate your kind words, if you have any advice for me, please let me know, I'm piecing together all the bits and pieces I've picked up on this site to help me in my recovery. My first officially clean day is projected to be tomorrow. Please say a prayer for me, I need it! Thanks again for everything.

~Colleen
Helpful - 0
983679 tn?1276833336
not a night in shining armor.....just not a mean person, anyways good luck in your recovery
Helpful - 0
1091472 tn?1268845655
Oh Lee...just like her night in shining armor huh!  haha what a joke!
Helpful - 0
983679 tn?1276833336
hmmm..did i ever say i was a nurse??? i didnt think so....i am in nursing school...i just dont like to see people belittle others in post, and you did! She has the right to post ALL the pics she wants to...you have a pic up, you think your cute?
Helpful - 0
1091472 tn?1268845655
Hey Lee aren't you a nurse?
Helpful - 0
1131271 tn?1404762185
Keep it going .... I stopped the Vics and was fine until the frightening Oxys entered my world due to auto accident and supposedly healing Dr.

U can do it .... staying busy is the best medicine !!
Helpful - 0
983679 tn?1276833336
Man, why atack the girl for putting up pictures...you sound really angry about her being cute...hmmmm
Helpful - 0
1011285 tn?1302116858
Good job on keeping your hopes high! glad to see that you are finally ready to take the huge step to recovery and just remember how long it took you to get addicted so-easy does it- Keep that hope up girl. Take it just one day at a time. Keep posting and let everyone know how you are doing. Have you looked up any NA meetings yet? if not get on the ball yo, helps so much with the mental part and you meet some incredible people that will be there for you through the toughest times. My NA buddies is like a whole new family for me! much love

Dallas
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I know It'stuff but if you can do it ct i found that It's only bad during the first week then it gets allot better. I'm on day 11 of going off Methadone 120mg ct and wow what a ride. I wanted off that nightmare train but i knew if i stuck it out it would be best for me.and it sounds like you really want it.So baby go get it we will all be with you in spirit and will say a prayer for you so u don't hurt that bad . This to shall pass and remember withdrawal doesn't last forever.  Gladtobeoff
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I love the line "i'm not super scared anymore".  That says a lot.  It means you are prepared mentally and that is extremely important.  Couple this with your recipe items and your plan and I think you have stacked the odds in your favour.  Great Job!!!

When you can remove the panic from this situation and understand that your symptoms are normal, it becomes not much worse than getting the flu for a few days.  Knowledge is power for this process and I am thrilled you have chosen to arm yourself with lots.  I have followed your posts and the advice and I think you are 100% ready!!!!

A monster???  I think not!!!  Merely another fallible human like the rest of us.  Glad to see you smiling, your attitude is contagious.


Pulling for you,

bob
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
you are absolutely gorgeous i hope everything works out for you and your dreams and wishes all come true for you stay strong and if you need anything just ask i am new here but i will try to help anyway i can
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
I like your pictures and you are cute..so keep on posting and putting up pictures and letting us know how you are coming along.You go girl..
Helpful - 0
1127420 tn?1262197520
I like to add the pictures to reflect how I'm feeling. It just makes me feel better sometimes. And I was feeling hopeful today, so I thought I'd post something to reflect that. And I use this place to help me through cravings, so the more time I can spend on a post the better. I don't need you to think I'm cute, frankly I don't feel very cute. I've felt like a monster for the past 6 months of my life and I usually have to push myself even to leave the house. But thanks for your words of encouragement, I feel like I am doing much better with this, my attitude is really strong, and I feel confident for once in the past 2 years. Just a warning though, as I will continue to keep using this forum to keep myself occupied when I am thinking of slipping up, the pictures will most likely follow, and I'd much rather be doing that than popping a pill. ;)
Helpful - 0
1091472 tn?1268845655
Some advice?  I think that if you put half as much energy/effort into your detox as you do managing your photos you'll do great!  I mean seriously was another pic necessary?  What do you think this is yahoo personals or something?  Great...we get it you're cute.  As far as your plan to stop using goes I think it's a good one.  Your taper regimen is super brief so it's not even really tapering at all, but you definitely sound commited to quiting and you've prepared yourself the best you can with Thomas etc...so that is good.  Just fight through it, you seem like a smart and strong girl.  You can do it!
Helpful - 0
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