Can I ask..........were you in any type of recovery program before you relapsed?
No I was not.. I kicked on my own and stayed clean on my own... na meetings make me want to use
Hi, welcome. It's doing it on your own that landed you back in this position. With support, you have people to talk you down from tragedy so you don't ended up using again. If NA makes you feel like using, try AA. But also, you need to give things time. The desire to use leaves, you just need to work the program.
That's just it tho... the desire isn't there.. I don't want to use. I have money and somewhere to get it yet I stopped on my own .. I last used yesterday about this time. I seriously hate the ****. I don't deal well with my family. Not exactly the closest of family. I used because I thought it would help deal with the situation and tragedy but it of course did not. I used for 12 days in total. I really am asking how sick will I be?
Hi Bananabella Welcome to the forum.. First I would like to send my Condolences for the loss of your Dear Niece so close to Transplant That is heartbreaking.. Good on you that you are going to deal with this clean Using just makes it all so much worse.. After 12 days I suspect you will have a lil rls as I have found we have muscle memory when we kick drugs you may loose a couple of nights sleep and deal with anxiety.. It should not be a full blown wd but a irritation.. walking exercise helps a lot with all symptoms You may have to force yourself but do Being outside walking also helps to deal with grief. Hot baths our showers for the RLS you should not have any bathroom issues but if you do there is Imodium although I prefer to let things clear. You may want to add a Protein drink for the vitamins and minerals also stay hydrated That is important.. eat clean. You can do this You have done it before. I'm Proud of you that you choose to grieve clean as we do not while on drugs Not in a healthy way. If AA NA makes you uncomfortable It would not hurt to see someone private a counselor phys clergy just as long as you have a support and it helps to get to the root cause of your addiction It helps a lot. I hope this helpful, I also wish you well. lesa
Also you should notice a lessening of symptoms on around day 3 and feel better by 5 we are all different but I hope this is true for you.
Omg thank u for your kind words and info... I have kicked twice on my own and of course was hell but made it thru. My withdrawals never last more than 7 days and I also have gabapentin which I know for fact helps a ton. You just saved me cause I really need to talk to someone and of course I have hidden my relapse being that my family is mourning.
Your very Welcome. I also come from a family that I do not have the best relationship. The Gaba may even help you to get some sleep That would be great as the no sleep just magnify's all the other symptoms.. I'm glad you found us, It is always good to tell on yourself as we definitely need accountability.. How are you feeling now ? I was glad to read it only last 7 days for you as that means this will probably follow the same path just not as extreme..
Feeling ok... got about 6 hours sleep last night. Chills and hot flashes are worst of my symptoms right now along with a metallic taste in my mouth which is familiar to me from chemo treatments. It's odd but withdrawals can be similar to side effects from chemo. I hate this and am so disappointed in myself and can not believe I signed on for this again! Ughhh...it is so much easier having someone to talk to so ty for being my angel at a very dark time.
I have been in the dark many times myself. Do not beat yourself up too much as you did stop after 12 days. I do not know if I could have done the same once started. I had lost my Niece in a house fire she was as a Daughter to me. I understand the Grief and temptation to deaden the pain.. I feel I'm much healthier for dealing with her death clean.. The drugs stagnate us we never move on from the pain.. I'm really glad you got 6 hrs sleep This will help a lot ! It sounds like you have been thru some trials This makes us strong and determined once we make up our minds.. Stay busy today as this will help and try to eat and drink water our a sports drink to make sure you are hydrated. I sure hope today goes quickly for you..
I am drinking milk... I have lost a lot of weight recently. I'm small to begin with. I maybe weigh 95lbs. I understand privacy in such situations as these but would u mind me asking if u live in Syracuse by chance? A good friend of mines relative ... a little girl and boy as well as their mother also perished in a house fire.
no I live in Ca.. You really should try to add a lil solid food It will give you energy. our at least a Protein drink. our maybe a scrambled egg and toast ? My Niece Sam died with her Guy her dog and 2 cats. it was very sad..
I just wanted to add my support. Try not to beat yourself up too bad. Use your energy to change things up in a positive way. Look into some counseling. They can really help you deal with your grief and other demons we carry around. Listen to the girls on your thread. They wont steer you wrong. I am glad you are here. You are worth the fight~
That made me feel good .. thank you sincerely. This has actually been such an amazing support for me.. cheers to the girls and I thank them kindly as well. I will be ok.. I am going to look into a therapist.. deep troubles opening up me to anyone so I have always done everything on my own. I've seen dark days but I've seen more bright. I know who I am and I don't deny my flaws. Only I can fight them. Trying... soooo trying. I'm almost there
I'm really glad you ate and are feeling ok with this wd also glad you have the Gaba as it is very helpful. Congrats on Day 3 you are just about there.. Therapy saved my life.. I would recommend it for anyone that can do it. Thank you for your very kind words on my loss.. I will look forward to hear how you are doing tomorrow I hope you sleep as well as you did last night..
This thread has been a savior and 10356 is the angel on my shoulder guiding me thru the dark. 9 years? Now that's something to respect and follow. I have few friends.. none of which know except 1 but we see each other infrequently... she is amazing but I am alone for the most part. Don't have the best of relationship with my boyfriend at the moment. I'm mourning and fighting a mental battle. Have to get thru this in a way that's best for me. I slept 7 hours... starving and thirsty so eating and staying hydrated. I'm still weak but nothing to complain about compare to what I have been thru in past. I have gone thru wd 3 times.. on my own at home . No one knew..
I only have used in total for 1 year. Long enough..
I'm at the end of this ... now just mental.
Thankfully I have no urge.. too scared.
Thank u for your support.. means everything.. can't express that enough .. love to all.
One year is long enough to find out all that H brings is Misery.. I'm so glad you are escaping that life. I was sorry to read you are having BF issues that always complicates things and makes it difficult to grieve. I was happy to read you got some sleep and that you ate and are drinking. Spending the day doing busy work our walking a few times will help a lot I'm also glad you are on the downward side of the wd. The Mental part does suck but better then being strung out. Congrats on day 4 ! That is great the more days between you and your relapse the better !!
Btw no rls or restlessness .. think it's cause of gaba... they should be using this for wd for everyone. What a blessing it's been... stand by it fully. I'm proof.
I went to stay at my sons home with his gf last night. Walked to store and back twice... walked to an old friends about a block down... was awesome to see her. She being the one amazing friend I have that knows it all... has been almost.a year since I have seen her. Loved it... felt good. The walking I think prevented the rls and I did feel better. I will open up and tell u my 19 yr old son is in jail for a dirty urine on probation. It was heroin...
I'm devastated and now his gf is telling me he got it in his system from bagging it up to sell.. wtf.. excuse me but omg...
his lawyer just informed me he will go inpatient now then to halfway house. He signed a contract with drug court. This is his second time dirty for heroin I'm now told. Either way I did not raise my son to be part of this epidemic in any way shape or form. So... yes I'm going thru it.
Hence my appreciation for this thread.
And yes he knows what I have gone thru... unfortunately he saw it face to face. I stopped because of him.
Caffeine wasn't a good idea.. one cup of coffee made me throw up... odd.
Most of us Addicts have raised children that have witnessed the devastation our addiction leaves. My own children had to pull away so not to continue to get hurt. I was fortunate that they forgave me and treat me with such respect. I'm still very humbled by my family's forgiveness.. Really when you think about it a 6 month stay in a rehabilitation Then a halfway house after is the best possible way for a junkie to get on their feet and make it. If he can work the program to his benefit He would gain his life. I will be sending a Prayer for I know first hand how difficult it is to walk away from that life. I was glad to read you will be checking out counseling I went this route. It was difficult speaking of the things that made a junkie but it was so worth it. All the guilt I use to carry is gone All the shame all the stuff that comes with using gone. I work my recovery here and in other ways all thru the day. DominoSarah Our fearless leader We have been together this 9 years.. I consider her a Big part of my recovery and helping to shape the Person that came out of it. Do not let her fool you she was the Stubborn one lol :)) There are a lot of us here that have been around awhile. Some use AA as sara does some use NA our Counseling like me even Clergy but most of us have something going on at home that helps in our recovery. Everyone that knows me knows I'm in recovery. This helps keep me accountable.. I'm glad you are not dealing with the rls I think that is the worst and the sneezing ! Make sure you eat tonight ok and keep the fluids going and the walking is Wonderful ! It just helps with everything !!
I also have adult children that saw the ugliness of this addiction. I am so incredibly blessed to have been given a 2nd chance with them. I now feel like their mom. I will be 56 in a few months, just got married about 6 months ago. I am finally alive and living a very good life. I have 3 grandbabies who are the love of my life so you see changes can and do happen. We have loved and lost, celebrated births, marriages, been thru illnesses and we all stood strong and faced our emotions clean. We were also blessed with a very special angel named Katie who we love just as much as we all love Lesa (10356). This is just a bit about all of us here. Together we can conquer anything. So glad you are here~
I am humbled to be a part of your recovery... even more appreciative. My son needs some counseling of his own clearly. Fortunately he was in Chicago with his father when I was using. I was honest with him when I began recovery because he decided he tried with his dad but didn't want to be away from home anymore. I'm afraid the Chicago living made him a bit hard and I felt he came back a diff kid. Then mom says she has just gone thru heroin withdrawal and is entering recovery. I wanted him to learn from my mistakes as we all wish for our children. I also never imagined developing a drug addiction at the age of 40 after never even being a drinker coming from alcoholics throughout my family. One bad decision at a bad moment... here I am. Honestly this with my son makes me want to be that much stronger cause now he needs me more than ever...