Avatar universal

How do I make my wife see what I see on her drug problem

I've been married for 10 years now, My wife and I have had our ups and downs dealing with the  kids and just financially trying to make it these days.  A little over a year ago I noticed she was getting high on prescription pills on a daily basis.. As time went on I could see the affect the drugs was having on her.  She stopped being the loving mother to our children and a loving wife.  Not to mention the times where her own daughter would try to wake her up from being so stoned and could not wake her up.  

As the year passed it seemed to be what she lived for. She would work or do something with the garden and she would come in at noon and take her pills. and stay messed up the rest of the day, then once 7 o'clock came around it was time to load back up. She would take pain pills, muscle relaxers, adivan, sleeping pills, and cold meds .  About 20 min later she would stumble to the bed room to lay down.  

It got to a point where she could not remember a simple conversation we had. We started having arguments on this and it would always come back to something I was doing wrong and I would end up feeling guilty for something I never even did. One day this past summer she got really messed up, and once again our oldest couldn't wake her up. So I had to shake her to wake her up. She had no idea what was going on.  She went to the bed room and past out again.  

I finally got angry about it, and I lost my cool about it. I told her that if she didn't get help I was taking the kids and leaving.  This seemed to open her eyes a bit and she told me about a time where she took to much one time and woke up struggling to breath and had defecated on herself.  I thought I had got the message across to her.  

However after time, I started to see that same blank stare, her face starting to sink in and her abnormal behavior.  I would confront her about this once again explaining that I have known so many people to die from doing this exact same thing.  Her reply was. I know what I'm doing (she's a nurse) Nobody can help me, and It's the only way she knows how to cope.  

I explained to her those are the same things every addict says.  She will still not admit to anything and she started lying about her medication intake.  She even told our oldest daughter not to tell me about some prescription pills she had received . My daughter didn't tell me, I found the pills on my own.  I knew she was lying about what she was taking, I just couldn't prove it until now.  

I don't know what to do next, If I say something again , only thing will happen is another huge argument.  I don't know where to turn next or how to make things better. I don't want to take my children away from their mother, however I do not want them to find her dead one morning before school or come home from school and find her dead either. If anyone can let me know what steps to take next, I will forever be in dept to you.


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Avatar universal
This makes me sad. As I just got of fentanyl and I'm realizing all the wasted years I spent on this med. my husband and children have told me how wonderful it is to have me back this week. It breaks my heart because when your the one taking the meds you don't realize how bad things truly are. So I know that she is some what in denial but I also know she really doesn't see how bad things are.
Also if she is not getting these meds precribed to her she is putting her nursing license on the line. I had a friend lose hers this way. :(
I agree with everyone on here next time she takes them and passes out call 911. I know it will be so hard but you have to save her life. Finding her in the bed dead would be so much harder. I'm not trying to be uncaring or harsh but with all those meds she's taking this is very serious. Most importantly be honest with the doctors etc. she seems to be to out of it to get help so you will have to help her. Please let us know how everything goes. My thoughts will be with your family durning this extremely tough time. I really really hope things start going better very soon.
Helpful - 0
4522800 tn?1470325834
She does have to come to the point to say she is out of control and has a Addiction issue..If she wants help she can come on here and we can share our experience and hope for her.For you I would like you to look up all the information you can find on the "Disease of Addiction" there is alot. Understanding Addiction,Addiction and the Brian's Pleasure Pathway:Beyond Willpower, What is Addiction. There is so much and it made my husband know what was going on and he gave me time to heal too! Besides giving it to my God and going to meetings I found this info very good for my recovery...As far as nursing I was in it for around 27 yrs and I can not go back due to the stress and the meds.  If you try to learn alot of about that, she has a disease and it does get out of control. We do not even know at sometimes what or why we are doing this behavior.
Check out the information you can find some here on medhelp and HBO has some good ones. There are videos that you can order too....
God Bless and she if she wants off the meds SHE has to make the choice to do it.....
Helpful - 0
757137 tn?1347196453
Big problem. In the first place, where is she getting these drugs? That will help us understand part of the problem.
Helpful - 0
5015130 tn?1362361808
Medical professionals have the hardest time seeking help or even admitting they need help, I know because I am one. She needs a wake up call, the best thing you can do for her is to call an ambulance the next time she is passed out and tell them you think she may have overdosed. It's going to be a very hard thing for you to do and she will be angry with you for it but it is your best bet. If she works at a hospital make sure they take her to a different one! You don't want to embarrass her in front of her coworkers, make going to work harder or allow them to slip it under the rug because she is a friend. Once she gets to the ER it is important that you speak with the doctor, if you can't get his time ask for the head nurse. Away from your wife, calmly explain the situation and her denial. Hopefully they will put her on a psych unit for 2-3 days. Most states can do this against her will, some states it is even mandatory. This will get the ball rolling. If you can get her to agree put all of her pills in a combination safe so it can't be picked, use numbers she won't guess and ration her meds. Only what is prescribed only when prescribed. Prepare yourself for the long haul, get counseling for yourself too. All the children need to know is that she is sick, all the neighbors need to know is that she wasn't feeling well.
Helpful - 0
1508698 tn?1360215710
Unfortatnly you will not be able to make her quit.  She has to hit rock bottom to be ready to give it up. It has to be her choice. I was like she was with my husband.  I would blame everything on him to make him feel bad so he would quit bothering with my problem.  You may have to leave with the kids in order for her to wake up and figure out she has a problem.  That may be what she needs.  I know this is hard and you are hurting by seeing her be addicted.  Good luck to you & keep us posted.
Helpful - 0
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