How much longer? 12th day methadone w/d.

Question

Seriously, I haven't slept in 2 weeks and I'm still aching all over. My mind WILL NOT shut up long enough to fall asleep and I can forget about my body getting comfortable. On day 7 I went to ER having the longest panic attack ever known to man and maybe to get help with some freakin sleep. Well the Prozac is no help, and the Klonopin, that I just knew was my bedtime savior, well....wasn't. I'm eating Metatonin and Benadryl like candy, and frankly don't know how much more I can handle. So, is it almost over? Should I fight through it for a few more days? Or is it time for another trip to doc for sleeping pills? (if they will even help)... As for the dosage and length on this evil ******* they call methadone... 3 years on 40 to 80, then down to 30....then cold turkey. I really really don't want to give up on the 12 hellish days under my belt, but I am delerious from no sleep... And for the BEST part, my husband who was a bit stronger with the w/d's for the first week, relapsed yesterday and is jumping around like a happy little bee. He says he's going to doc before he detox's again. Nice, huh? And now the meds are available to me again... Please tell me my 12 days in pure Hell weren't in vain.. How much longer???

tgtiffany · Answer

Awesome. See, you know what you gotta do!  That's so good that you force yourself to do it every day!!!  Amazing :)  What kind of hobbies do you like?  I personally love yoga :)  It might help with the relaxation and stress!!  I know it helps me a lot, also keeps you *flexible* AND in great shape!!  Takes a little bit to get the balance down though ! haha ;) Keep that smile on your face!  I'm so proud of you!!!

haley726 · Answer

blocked word was s u c k s...

haley726 · Answer

the past few days have really humbled me to this addiction. The physical part is almost unbearable, but emotionally it ***** the life out of you... I literally have to pull my body out of bed and force myself to take a shower. But then I get ready and get out of this house and I just have a smile on my face because I know what I have accomplished. I know there will be good days and bad, but I am learning the best thing to do is drag my butt up and get out of my house even if it is the hardest thing to do. I am going to have to find a hobby for sure cause I am setting myself up for disaster if I stay at home while my kids are at school and hubby at work. An empty house is definitely NOT my friend. Thanks for the encouragement. This has helped me more than I ever thought it could.

tgtiffany · Answer

You'll be happy again!!!  And you know it!!!  Keep going!  You're doing amazing!  Just think if you give up now you'll have to go through all this crap again, and you don't want that!!!  You CAN do this :)  It's going to be hard at first, especially living sober, but it will be worth it :)  Trust me!  You can do this!!  Keep your head up...and SMILE!!!  If you haven't already, go to the mirror right now and tell yourself that you are AMAZING and that you CAN do this!!!

Jaybird30 · Answer

The empty mind will disappear!   You need to find something to do, preferably something you used to do before pill use.  It is up to you to get that mind going again.  Do something to make yourself think.  I love music at this point, good movie, I do a lot of fishing and hunting also.   I have three kids and that helps keep busy!   Anything but just sitting and thinking about those little demons!

haley726 · Answer

God was I wrong when I thought the worst part was the phyisical pain of methadone withdrawal. Now that it has eased up I have nothing to focus on. Well, except any drug that will make my mind not feel so empty. Is this really what the real world feels like, cause it hurts. Emotionally anyways. Somewhere in my mind I know this is just another phase. Unfortunately, even after the 2 weeks of hell, this is the part that gets me. Just tell me I will be happy again without any help from drugs cause right now I don't know.

Jaybird30 · Answer

As time goes by these moments of anxiety and cravings will become shorter and less frequent!  Eventually they will start skipping days until they are gone for ever!  Just don't let them trick you into using.   These are the demons of wd!!!   That's what I call them lol!  From my experience they were quite strong for a few days until they started to dissipate.  I would hurry up a get busy make the mind work on something, masterbate(that helps a ton with sleep also), music anything to change scenery!   Music is my savior in these moments!

haley726 · Answer

so I finally slept for over 4 hours last night without tossing and turning. But today I am feeling a little anxious about the living sober part. I've been through 13 days of torture and now that it has eased up I am wondering how I am going to go through the rest of my life with nothing. Any suggestions on how to get over this next part of wd? I'm feeling helpless to this addiction even after I have been through the worst physical part of it.

haley726 · Answer

gnarly, whoever you are, whever you may be... God bless you too. Thanks.

tgtiffany · Answer

Gnarly is the man!

haley726 · Answer

after getting all of the encouragement and all of the responses so quickly I can tell you one thing... This morning started off horrible and doubting my decisions, but tonight I feel like I have won the freakin Olympics. Thank you all for the advice and I'm not expecting a mircle of a full 8 hours sleep, hell I prob won't even get more than 2, but right now, in this moment, I'm on top of the world. We will see how I feel tomorrow. I'll keep you updated and if any other doubts come up... I know where to come. Thanks you all.

gnarly_1 · Answer

HI kicking methadone is a ruff ride no mater how you do it......its a high dose to jump from but we have hade members make it from higher doses 30 is up ther though yuo can expect 2 weeks of withdrawals with some lingering into the following week then the phyical part will be over....next comes the energy crash and as fro sleep it took me 2 mo for me to just get 4hr in
the sleepy time tea from walmart helps if you sip some 1/2 hr b/4 bed that and a really hot soak as fro the sleeping pills they usually dont work and you can be opening a whole new can of worms with that addiction.....I know what its like kicking methadone....I tapered in and out of withdrawals off 150mg for 8 1/2 mo then it took a good 90 dayss to start to feel better and arouynd 6mo to feel normal....I broke a 16yr addiction so it was ruff......just take it one day at a time pace the energy you do have your doing good just stick it out you may be dope sick for a wile but every day you put between you and it isa victory....we have had several young girls come off it with little to no withdrawals for me I thought it was going to kill me...but im alive and well and life is a beautiful place again.....yuor wining this hang in there and remember NO NARCOTICS no mater how bad you feel  good luck anbd God bless......Gnarly

tgtiffany · Answer

Also, scroll down to the VERY bottom right and click on the Thomas Recipe.  That's what really helped my hubby when withdrawing.  it might help you too!!!

tgtiffany · Answer

Hi!  Why aren't you smiling?  You're doing AMAZING!!!  12 days clean!  That's sooo wonderful!  You can do this!!  Just remember that okay.  When you're down and feel like crap come here and post.  It will help you.  And your way of thinking about your husband consequently helping you isn't a bad way of thinking.  I think it's good!!!  It better than you giving in and starting all over and having to withdraw all over again isn't it?  You  KNOW it suck s and you don't want to do this over again!!! You CAN do this!!  IS it hard? YES!  Is it WORTH IT???  HELL YES!!!!  Just think about how wonderful it will be when you are FREE from these pills!!!  Keep your head up! And SMILE!!!

haley726 · Answer

thanks...

ImDONENoMore · Answer

I get what you're saying - and the only thing I can offer is that you focus on YOU for now.  When he's ready, he's ready.  Can't force someone to do this we know that all too well right?

And you SHOULD be feeling on cloud nine - what you're doing is SO great so celebrate it every chance you get.  And who knows, as your husband continues to see how well you're doing and how PROUD you're feeling of yourself, it might be contagious.

But I still think he should keep his using to himself.  No reason you should be exposed to that - no reason at all.  Good luck to you!  And I'm really happy for your children - they have their REAL mommy back now so it's not all bad right?  :)

haley726 · Answer

well, I stay at home with the kids and he works, so he needed the energy. Like I don't.... But believe me, no matter how much better his body felt yesterday, my mind was on cloud nine cause I didn't give up the 11 days. It does make it harder when there are 2 people w/d from methadone at the same time with kids... I honestly feel worse for him cause he will have to start over and in the mean time I can rest. He feels so guilty I didn't have to lift a finger yesterday (as if I could anyway). He only hurt himself and consequently helped me out. Is that a sick way of thinking about it? Maybe I am strong enough... But very, very tired.

haley726 · Answer

I really don't want to get on something else after this. That is how I got here in the first place. Plus I didn't really get my meds direct from doc or clinic, so... That doesn't look too good to doc when walking in with my husband and kids, if you know what I mean. I'm telling you, if I live through this (and I know I will somehow), I'm going to let my own body make it's on endorphans and seritonin and etc. Like it once did... We will call them "the good years" when you get out and do fun stuff to have fun. Remember? It was right before we entered the real world.

ImDONENoMore · Answer

Just wanted to mention that it could be the benadryl that's making sleep so difficult for you.  That stuff can have the opposite affect on some (me) where you end up jittery and restless which makes sleep impossible!!!

And I'm sorry, but I have to say this - what's up with your husband- he KNOWS you're trying to quit why would he be taking this stuff in front of you?  You need to tell him to knock it off!!!  That is absolutely NOT COOL.  You've done SO well so please, don't lose those 12 days - the payoff is coming soon so please don't MISS it!!  :)

haley726 · Answer

everyone starts out with something else, but in my crazy mind I thought I could function better on methadone. That was the WORST lie I ever told myself. Today is just one of those "i hate everything" days because I felt much better on Saturday and now I feel like I haven't even made it over the hump. I need someone to at least lie to me and say it IS almost over and I will sleep again.

downandout1003 · Answer

Hey haley726,

  Please don't give up. You are so close.!!!  I came off methadone, 80mgs cold turkey.  I was on it for 10 years.  I do know how you feel and it is AWFUL...  With me after the 14th day it was at least bareable.  Have you tried Clonidine ?  It was a miracle for me.  I have had a few relapses with methadone.  But I am now on Subutex. Have been since Feb 28th 2010.  Please feel free to message me if I can do anything to help you....  STAY STRONG You can Do This..!!

Jaybird30 · Answer

Everytime I went cold turkey(5-6) I made through the worst part of the wd!  It's the long term that always gets me.   I'll go a month with zero and think 1 pill won't hurt but you know where I end up.  Back at square one!   Most of my detoxed were off of oxy and I had some that only lasted 24-36hrs then I felt better!   This time from methadone was the worst even with suboxone!

haley726 · Answer

Then surely you know what I am going through, and your still trying. I feel very proud of the 12 days, but is it almost over...or should I try with doc? Did you make it though w/o anything before, or did you relapse due to the w/d's?

Jaybird30 · Answer

From my experience it should be any day now!   Please don't relapse!  12 days is a long time and very hard to accomplish ct.  I am currently on day 5 with suboxone treatment this time.  I would go 2 weeks to a couple months then relapse!  Once you experience the free normal feeling you will be grateful like you've never been!  Be strong!!!