Sounds like your journey is just beginning. Start with a little research. Go to YouTube and search on Opiate Withdrawal. Find Dr. Kevin McCauley and see what he says about opiates and the brain. There's a spectrum of substance use disorder and you might just fall in the middle, or opiate dependence rather than at the far end of addiction. Also, talk to your doctor about gabapentin as a means of managing withdrawals. While not FDA approved for this type of treatment, it's showing promise as an alternate way of managing withdrawals. It's what I was prescribed when getting off oxycodone (300mg gabapentin 3 time a day for 5 days then taper) and it worked for me. I went through a medically assisted detox at a facility that uses a suboxone protocol for detox. I never scored high enough on the withdrawal scale to start suboxone so the PA prescribed gabapentin (if they start subs too soon you go into withdrawals X 20, so you have to wait for a high score). This was a mystery to me and my fellow detoxers because I was using significant amounts of oxycodone before checking myself in to their program. My only real explanation is that I didn't really do anything with drugs until I was in my 50s. My brain had finished it's development and less susceptible to the disorders that drugs can create in the brain.
Hope this helps point you in the right direction.....
Hello & welcome. Does a doctor prescribe them to you?