How to go cold turkey without the help of my dr.'s

[mommyof287]

I am 26 years old. I've had numerous issues as far a medical goes, as well as over a dozen surgeries in the last 2 1/2 years. I have been given pain meds during the duration of the last 2 1/2 years, Hydrocodones being the most prescribed. When I initially began taking them, it was 2-3 a day, a couple of months later, more health issues arose, then 4-5 a day. Before I knew it, I was taking up to 10-12 a day, sometimes more. I just recently reinjured my knee that has already had ACL reconstruction and meniscus repair & will be having surgery on it next month, and had a couple of short prescriptions given to me of Oxycodone. I had used those in conjunction with my Hydrocodone given for my cervical radiculopathy(pinched discs/nerves) and was out. I went to my f/u with my spine specialist and he refused to give any more medication, and told me to consult my PCP. I did just that, and was rejected by him as well. So even though it is the safest way to come off the medication to taper down, I cannot do that because I have no doctor (who have all started me on these meds to begin with), and am on my first full day of no pain medication. I never considered myself an addict, until now. I had all of these medical reasons that required me to take them to keep out of pain so I could live life with my two daughters and husband, but it slowly but surely went overboard. What can I do? Should I seek outpatient help somewhere? I am seeking genuine help. I have had cold sweats, hot sweats, diarrhea, and excessive crying all day today; was forced to have my daughters go to my in-laws so they did not have to see their mother in this state. Looking for any help at all.

[lulu747]

Hey Mommy great job!  Do get that aftercare plan in place because after physical detox is where the real work begins.  Because you have abused other substances in the past I would strongly recommend an addictions counsellor.  This can be pricey in the states.  I am fortunate here in Canada that these services are free.  I'm proud of you girl, and I'm pulling for you.
Lu

[motye51]

Take a bow!  You are so on your way!

[mommyof287]

Week one, no pain meds= CHECK :)

[mommyof287]

Thank you all for your support and stories. They are much appreciated and very inspiring! I am doing AWESOME! My husband and I have already discussed the plan for surgery; he dispenses the meds, even keeps the bottle with him when he leaves for work. That'll leave me only to take Tylenol while he's gone(I'm allergic to NSAIDs). My aftercare thought; I haven't really thought d one, honestly. Just been taking it day by day really, but, now that you, my friends, have helped me to remember that is a step I must take, I will def do so and let you know. I'm sure it entails focusing on my family, prob seeking some outpatient health/possible counselor. Whatever does come, no more dark future of narcotics, this is for sure ;)

[lulu747]

Hey Girl you are doing great!  I came off of a similar amount of medication.  It was my choice, my doctors thought I would be on pain meds for life.  I realized if I stayed on pain meds I would no longer have a life worth living.  I jumped off, and after about a month, realized my pain was WAY less than it had ever been on pain meds.  I had recently had a surgery to repair extensive damage done by stage 4 endometriosis to my uterus, bowel, bladder, and cervix.  After detoxing I got heavily involved in the business of my recovery.  I realized that I had been numbing emotional pain along with the physical pain and had been very depressed and totally lost.  2 years of CBT and EMDR therapy to deal with PTSD from my abusive marriage and medical trauma.  Just over a year into my recovery I wrecked my knee (meniscus) and fought to get surgery immediately.  I took pain meds for two weeks, at the bare minimum, and stopped no problem.  Then six months ago my endometriosis returned full force.  The pain has been debilitating for about 2 months now, and I finally gave in a month ago and started taking pain medication at night to get rest.  My partner holds my pills.  I am awaiting another surgery and am scared every day about the slippery slope that I am on.  I just keep reaching out for support, and holding myself accountable because the thought of going back to that place is the SCARIEST thing in the world to me.
My point in sharing my story is just to point out the importance of aftercare.  Especially if you have chronic pain issues or ever need to use pain meds for real pain again.  Once you have admitted you are an addict, there is really no going back.  You need some kind of aftercare program so that you can identify the emotional reasons why you abused the pills.  This can come in many forms and many different people on this forum have varying opinions of what has worked for them.  One thing that is FOR SURE though- the people that get clean, and stay clean, put a solid aftercare plan in place.
Congratulations on your clean time.  I wish you the very best and hope you find some relief, and peace.  You deserve it.
Lu

[marycarmel]

Try some Imodium.  Don't underestimate how much it can help with all withdrawals, not just stomach issues.  I hope you make a plan for when you have your surgery, like have someone hld your pills and give themtoou as prescribed.  You don't want to go through this again.  And this may make you feel a bit better:  my 18-year old son had ACL and meniscus surgery in late March.  He is very anti-narcotic and basically alternated ibuprofen and Tylenl and used ice liberaly, and he said it wasn't bad at all.  The only time it was really sore was when he was doing PT and working it.

[motye51]

Keep going!!!  Keep moving forward!  You got this!  What are your plans for aftercare?

[motye51]

That's awesome!!!  I love that!

[mommyof287]

Day 5, no pain meds. Thanks for your support. The days are getting better and I'm feeling it as they go on. I have been smoking the Mary to help with some of the symptoms of withdrawal, but not much. Just would much rather do that than put another pill in my system. Tried clonidine and it made my blood pressure so low I slept for almost 26 hours off and on. But I sure did need it :,)

[mommyof287]

Thanks everyone. I'm doing ok; still not sleeping well. Slept about 4-4 1/2 hours and have been wide awake since. Stomach is uneasy :( I DO feel better, though :) 96 hours since a pain pill :,,)

[Durty_South]

I'm on day 6 and keep expecting the worse but actually feel much better. But I had (as many do) a point where I felt like the grip let go of me. Like I had a peace finally if I would just start the process. So I just walked into my boss's office n said I'm taking next week off and now here we are. I'm no expert on staying clean but when I was hurting the worst, I went and got a tattoo of the date I'd been 24 hours without. I don't care what anyone thinks about it, it helps me to look at it and say that's the day u decided to live again and dang sure not turning back now. Wish you well.

[ImOverThisBS]

Take a bath with Epsom salt. I found it very helpful in keeping me calm and taking my mind off how crappy things are. Also very good for muscle pain, helps absorb magnesium into your skin. I remember feeling better around day 5 but I was taking a lethal dose ( 30-45 norco 10/325s daily) so it could be sooner for you. Just think of it as a flu that's really bad for a few days then you feel blah for a couple then no energy for a week. drink lots of fluids get support from loved ones and keep reminding yourself why your getting clean. Also if the WD's are too much try the Thomas* recipe, it made the difference in my recovery. I'm 2 1/2 months clean and even the worst days clean are better than the best days high. Stay strong

Your friend, Sean


http://www.medhelp.org/health_pages/Addiction/Thomas-Recipe-Re-Posted/show/16?cid=66

[Bigdaddy1313]

Day three is a bad day but it's hard to say if its worse than day 4. I believe after day 4 or 5 you will start to notice some relief. I wish you Gods Speed to get the next few days over with.

[Bigdaddy1313]

I meant Outpatient. I was in the same boat with family and job.

[mommyof287]

In patient is not an option, I have two daughters, a job, and my husband works full time. We'd have no one to take care of them and no one to help my husband financially. I've thought about it, but I'm standing strong that i can do this on my own. I've heard a lot about the 3rd day being the worst; is there any truth behind this?

[Bigdaddy1313]

Just a note about an Inpatient Program. This could be very beneficial.

[mommyof287]

Day 2, no meds. Not sleeping or eating well...sweats are coming off and on like crazy. Mood swings are horrible.:,(

[dirtydirk]

I also strongly advise 2 stay away from subs....its only guna make things worse, in the long run.....gratnted things will get better while your on them but when u try and get off your wds will last longer and so on so forth......we all would like a good taper but the fact is most of us end up doing it cold turkey....A: we know we cant taper B: ppl get kicked outta there dr and have no more medicine (which seems like your case C: we run outta money D: end up going 2 jail, or ya die!!!!  Now ive detoxed off pretty much everypill trying 2 find one that wouldn't hurt as bad,  sadly they all do....I ended up jumping cold turkey from a nasty Heroin habit.....just know you gotta want this , knowing your ready 2 quit and just wishing you could are 2 different things!!!  keep posting  you can do this!!

[clean_in_ks]

If it's any consolation.....my use of opiates began as "medically necessary" too.  Over time.....with continuous input of opiates....our neurotransmitters are altered.....our pain receptors need more and more....and pretty soon no matter how many pills we take, the original relief can never be found again.

At my worst....I was taking 30 pills/day......the 10 pills/day I mentioned above...that was the amount I was taking when I quit for good.

It really helped me, and I think it would benefit you too, if you would learn a bit about opiate induced hyperalgesia.......it's a very REAL condition and particularly for those of us who take opiates for pain for a long period of time.  I had 4 years of continuous "medical crises" to justify my use of pain meds.
At some point (for me).....the desire to quit became stronger than the desire to use.
And, though I live with daily pain......as an addict, going back on opiates for that pain is simply not an option~

[mommyof287]

Might I add I was sober from all that other junk for 4 years prior to having my daughters and my oldest will be 4 in october

[mommyof287]

Might I add I was sober from all that other junk for 4 years prior to having my daughters and my oldest will be 4 in october

[mommyof287]

Well I did say, "and sometimes more". So 10-12 some days, and maybe 20-25 on others. It's hard for me to be honest on an addiction i never really faced I had until recently. Prior to having my daughters, I had the same addiction but to alcohol, Xanax, cocaine, opioids, really anything I could get my hands on (outside of heroin). Then, once I had my daughters, here came all te tumors and cancer scares, which in turn, meant dozens of surgeries; the mris I had concluded the reasons for my neck pain, so then came my large monthly supply of hydro10s plus my surgeries in between giving my oxy10s with refills to follow bc of the severity of surgeries. It's already been a long road and lengthy time with opioids and drugs in general, that's why this detox is going to be hard for me. It's hard for me to face this "addiction" when in my eyes it was all "medically necessary". I DO want to get healthy, or I wouldn't be here. My daughters deserve their mommy..., sober.

[clean_in_ks]

To answer a couple of your questions....YES....outpatient and/or counseling is a GRAND idea.  Learning about my addiction helped me a lot as does being in a group environment with other recovering addicts.  

As far as the subutex suggestion from your dr as a "possibility"....for the amount of meds you were on.....it is NOT a good idea, imo.  I say this because my dr. also suggested subutex/suboxone and I was so sick and so desperate at the time, I was willing to do anything to get off the pills.  I hadn't found MedHelp yet and I knew absolutely NOTHING about subs.

Just to give you an idea......I was also on about 10 pills/day (10 mg) which is equivalent to 100 mg of hydrocodone.  Subs are totally synthetic and a VERY STRONG opioid... they stick "strongly" to our opiate receptors which blocks other opiates from working.  Because I knew no better, the sub dr put me on 16 mg of sub which is equivalent to 480 mg of hydrocodone!!!!  I was only on 100 mg of hydros so this was WAY TOO MUCH......and I was a mess.

My advise, based upon my experience and based upon the fact you only take 10 to 12 pills/day....is to stay far away from subs.  Many dr's don't know a lot about subs themselves......I found out the hard way.

You are doing great......by getting clean now....your pain/opiate receptors will have some time to heal before your surgery and like someone above mentioned....you may just be able to sail thru the surgery with a non-narcotic pain reliever.

Keep posting and let us know how you're doing~

[4YRHitch]

Mommy you have received some great advice here and truly believe you can do this. Listen to what these folks have to say & keep strong.  I'm only on day 6 but can tell you they have not been fun...and like you I have 2 small children.

I have noticed my knee & back pain seem to be lessening in intensity.  I've had 3 ACL reconstructions and a dozen scopes...hence I have no meniscus left in my knees basically.  I had a L4-5 fusion in my back as well.  I was on hydro the last 4 years and it slowly took control.  The knee hurts 24/7 but is no match for back pain...as you probably know.

Wasn't sure if you've had a scope done before to repair meniscus tears but in my opinion it's a surgery you can get through without pain meds...or at worse Tylenol 2 or 3.  Everyone's pain tolerance is different though.

Keep posting and reading.  There is some great support here as you've noticed.