I'm 18. i'm in my final year of school so i only drink on the weekend but i when i do drink, i drink ALOT. the worst thing is i always have the good intention of having "just a few". and always end up giving into temptation, getting messy and regretting something.
i've trained myself not to regret anything - "put it down to life experience" i say. if i didn't have the trait i probably would have topped myself by now. i don't want to have to convince myself though. i just don't do regret ****. to have this result, i NEED to stop drinking. my problem is all my close mates are heavily drinking atm too (they're in their first year of college you see- embracing the partying lifestyle). i know they're fantastic lads, we've been together for the last 6 years. they're just going through a rough patch. so basically, i'm surrounded by partying opportunitys and well, i can't say no. i've no self disipline when it comes to ANYTHING - ie. studying, playing hard to get, eating. i can't say no. a few friends have told me i've an addictive personality. not too sure what that entails or how to live with it?
In school, i depend on one person. we love each other and know each other inside out. i can honestly say i'd be lost without her. but she wouldn't be lost without me. she has this knack for dealing with people and ******** - i don't. i've come to the conclusion that that's okay though. even if i feel like a loner. ie. i'd rather sit on my own at lunch than put up with pointless conversation.
my conclusion anyway.
i hate drinking and clubbing. i hate socialising in general because i can't stand the fakeness of people. but i can't say no to a party. basically, i need some support. i need someone to tell me "no, you don't need to go out. you know deep down that you'll enjoy spending your friday night watching marley and me with you parents alot more than a ******** session with only pilled up ejits with no personality for company".
well done for reading this. i'd appreciate any kind of response.