Aa
I failed. The rest of my story
I sit here totally dejected and ashamed with myself. I lasted as long as I could but today brought me much more than I could possibly handle and I took a pill. I had to so the anxiety/depression, heart palps and chest pain would ease so I could get to work.
Here's my story and I sure could use some advice. Starting in 2004 I had several major surgeries to save my life. Seeing that I was extremely anxious doctors gave me Xanax. Over the next 6 years I was in and out of the hospital with surgeries and procedures all the time I was taking Xanax off and on.
After the first year us when I developed pain all over my body which is when doctors gave me norco. I was the model patient and never ran out early.
At this time is when I noticed I was really feeling bad but did not know why. This went on for years. I asked my doctor about stopping the. Xanax and was told "this is a miracle drug and can be taken for life with no side effects.". Who would not take something with such a glowing endorsement from their doctor.
Kept getting worse and finally on Sept 20, 2011 quit Xanax cold turkey. Bad mistake but my doctor told me I would not have any problems. The next 8-9 months can only be described as hellish torture. On average it takes a person 15 mths to recover from short term benzo use I'm just now at 13 Mths. Benzos effect a body in ways that are unimanigable and I'm living proof of the horror that a person goes through.
Opiate wd lasts a few weeks. Benzo wd lasts a year or more. Anyway...there is another site like this one but the focus is on benzo wd support and several members there tried to talk me out of going ct from opiates. They said my body/mind was still to fragile to handle that kind of shock. Boy were they right.
Today would have been 17 days for me and I still feel like I'm at day 3. I did have a few good days along the way but can honestly say I don't feel any better mentally or physically.
The past week my life saw two major changes and I guess today it came crashing down. I woke up at 4am with a nasty adrenalin rush and the day only got worse from there. The anxiety was just too much for me and I had to have some relief so I took a 10mg norco. Im so tired of feeling bad and have no idea what to do.
I sit here in pain, insane anxiety/depression, shaking and chest pain/burning and am scared to death. I actually got excited around day 6 and thought I was headed for the life I once had but things have only gotten worse.
I've tried food elimination diet to see if that would help but it did not. I eat only organic but that has not helped. I begging for answers.
Here's my story and I sure could use some advice. Starting in 2004 I had several major surgeries to save my life. Seeing that I was extremely anxious doctors gave me Xanax. Over the next 6 years I was in and out of the hospital with surgeries and procedures all the time I was taking Xanax off and on.
After the first year us when I developed pain all over my body which is when doctors gave me norco. I was the model patient and never ran out early.
At this time is when I noticed I was really feeling bad but did not know why. This went on for years. I asked my doctor about stopping the. Xanax and was told "this is a miracle drug and can be taken for life with no side effects.". Who would not take something with such a glowing endorsement from their doctor.
Kept getting worse and finally on Sept 20, 2011 quit Xanax cold turkey. Bad mistake but my doctor told me I would not have any problems. The next 8-9 months can only be described as hellish torture. On average it takes a person 15 mths to recover from short term benzo use I'm just now at 13 Mths. Benzos effect a body in ways that are unimanigable and I'm living proof of the horror that a person goes through.
Opiate wd lasts a few weeks. Benzo wd lasts a year or more. Anyway...there is another site like this one but the focus is on benzo wd support and several members there tried to talk me out of going ct from opiates. They said my body/mind was still to fragile to handle that kind of shock. Boy were they right.
Today would have been 17 days for me and I still feel like I'm at day 3. I did have a few good days along the way but can honestly say I don't feel any better mentally or physically.
The past week my life saw two major changes and I guess today it came crashing down. I woke up at 4am with a nasty adrenalin rush and the day only got worse from there. The anxiety was just too much for me and I had to have some relief so I took a 10mg norco. Im so tired of feeling bad and have no idea what to do.
I sit here in pain, insane anxiety/depression, shaking and chest pain/burning and am scared to death. I actually got excited around day 6 and thought I was headed for the life I once had but things have only gotten worse.
I've tried food elimination diet to see if that would help but it did not. I eat only organic but that has not helped. I begging for answers.
Some of us DO feel better after a week or so. I know I do. But the anxiety & depression doesn't disappear. As it is said, we didn't get this way overnight so we shouldn't expect to feel better overnight. I even heard one interventionist say, The amount of time on benzo's is in direct relation to the recovery time.
Don't give in to defeat. With addiction sometimes it is two steps forward, one step back. It's the nature of the addiction. As long as you keep moving forward, you WILL get there! Prayers for you!
Don't give in to defeat. With addiction sometimes it is two steps forward, one step back. It's the nature of the addiction. As long as you keep moving forward, you WILL get there! Prayers for you!
hey! I'm sooo glad your still posting, PLEASE don't beat yourself up over this. I believe that does more damage than anything, falling into a pit of despair over it can only hurt....you are doing the best that you can.. I can tell you on day 18 of my opiate withdrawal I couldn't take it anytmore. I'd had it....worn down,depressed,crying,hurting,no repreive. I had to work an 11 hr. shift, and I thought oh great, if one of my older folks poops their pants I'm going to break into tears. I took 0.5mg of my sub to get through that night, and I am still sober to this day. it is what it is. your using has stopped working for you .you will prevail. set your goal and head in that direction. my thoughts, as always are with you. godbless
Hey there- It took me a very long time to feel better, as well. I was addicted to barbiturates...their drama is closely related to benzos.
Don't you feel like you've failed! Just don't. You did what any of us might have done under similar circumstances...I know I would have. When we feel that bad and that terrible, our thinking is only about how we can feel BETTER because what we're feeling is so uncomfortable it's crippling...
I think the history of benzos has had a huge impact on how you're feeling now...I'm almost sure of it. And listen, this forum is not exclusively for opiate withdrawal and abuse; it's for any substances...
Stay close!
Don't you feel like you've failed! Just don't. You did what any of us might have done under similar circumstances...I know I would have. When we feel that bad and that terrible, our thinking is only about how we can feel BETTER because what we're feeling is so uncomfortable it's crippling...
I think the history of benzos has had a huge impact on how you're feeling now...I'm almost sure of it. And listen, this forum is not exclusively for opiate withdrawal and abuse; it's for any substances...
Stay close!
And remember, I'm sure a lot of those posters who say they feel great at day 5, 7, 10, whatever, probably do. And I bet a lot of them are posting it to convince themselves that it's true. Either way, whatever gets you through the night is fine by me, but let's keep it in perspective!
I'm not concerned cause you took the pill! I totally understand that! If I would have felt like you did, and I had access or someone would have offered me a pill, I surely would have taken one! I would have done anything to feel better! I also understand what you are saying about seeing posts at a certain time where people were saying that they feel so much better, and I didn't! I kept thinking, how come they are feeling better, they feel great, and I don't yet! You are right, I have no experience with Benzo withdrawal! That, from what I understand is so much more complicated and difficult!
I am so glad that you are not giving up! You are reaching out! You are posting and talking about this! Keep fighting! We are with you and will support you every step! I believe things will get better! The dark cloud will lift! I'm praying for you! Keep posting and working through it!
I am so glad that you are not giving up! You are reaching out! You are posting and talking about this! Keep fighting! We are with you and will support you every step! I believe things will get better! The dark cloud will lift! I'm praying for you! Keep posting and working through it!
great post gonnastop. I couldn't agree more about your feelings about this forum. It is amazing and the info and compassion is a g-dsend for so many of us.
You're not alone and the time it takes for you to feel better will be whatever you need. It won't be the same as everyone else's because we're all different. I know it took me a lot longer than many of the other members in this forum to get better and that's okay. As long as I was heading in the right direction, that really was all that mattered.
Time. Patience. Committment. Aftercare. Hope. And not necessarily in that order. :)
You'll get there.
You're not alone and the time it takes for you to feel better will be whatever you need. It won't be the same as everyone else's because we're all different. I know it took me a lot longer than many of the other members in this forum to get better and that's okay. As long as I was heading in the right direction, that really was all that mattered.
Time. Patience. Committment. Aftercare. Hope. And not necessarily in that order. :)
You'll get there.
To all my friends that responded I am deeply moved that each of you took your valuable time to try and help me during this crisis. Trust me when I say that the last thing I wanted to do was take that pill. I was scared that it would undo all the hard work I had put in but I can tell you that it did take the edge off the anxiety which was the goal. I knew that the effect would not last long..maybe a few hours at most..but at that precise moment that is what had to happen for me.
I have NEVER experienced that type of crushing/dark depression to that extent and have it hit me so hard so quick. I was completely caught off guard and truly felt I may not come out of that place. As I type this I can feel that this "wave" has improved slightly and I may be starting to feel better. I've never experienced something like this..even during the acute phase of my benzo wd which was pure hell.
I know that this forum is for opiate withdrawal which is why I did not reveal my experience with benzos. I knew that the experience and expertise here was with opiates and not benzos and that most here probably have never experienced detoxing from both substances like I have.
inkgirl is absolutely correct in saying that people do die from benzo withdrawals as the impact those meds have on the human mind/body is 100 times more intense than any opiate could ever have. I was given the advice that my health is my responsibility and that I should have questioned my doctors advice, prescirptions and directions and that person could not be more correct. The problem with that is at the time my medical problems started I never had a reason to not trust anything a doctor told me and that I could place complete trust in their training adn knowledge and that they always had my best interest at heart.
How many people here that first went to a doctor EVER questioned a script they had been given? How many people here ever questioned their doctor when they were given that first script for Norco or Lortab when they were sitting there in pain. Probably not one of us. I know I didn't.
I've received better advice and direction from the people on this forum than I ever did from my doctors. I've received more info from total strangers here than any doctor ive ever seen. I've been treated better by total strangers here than I ever have been by my doctors. Total strangers here care more about my health and wellbeing than any doctor ive ever seen. That alone is making me cry. WHERE WERE YOU PEOPLE 7 YEARS AGO! :)
The fact that I can come here when I'm scared, mad, hurting and freaking out is beyond amazing. The fact that strangers take their valuable time to try and console me, to try and get me through a rough patch, listen to me complain and sometimes seem unreasonable is beyond anything I could have ever hoped for.
Today hit me like a ton of bricks and I've been reading so many posts of others saying around 2 weeks or so things were coming up roses. At almost 3 weeks I was feeling so bad I thought I was a total loss and nothing I did was going to change that.
I truly tried NOT to freak out today but I guess I failed there as well. As I said...the depression/anxiety today was at a level I never expected which is why I was desperately reaching out to all of you in hopes someone might chime in saying they too had a similar experience with they did. That alone helped calm me down...along with an intensly hot shower.
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU! You may have just saved a life!
I have NEVER experienced that type of crushing/dark depression to that extent and have it hit me so hard so quick. I was completely caught off guard and truly felt I may not come out of that place. As I type this I can feel that this "wave" has improved slightly and I may be starting to feel better. I've never experienced something like this..even during the acute phase of my benzo wd which was pure hell.
I know that this forum is for opiate withdrawal which is why I did not reveal my experience with benzos. I knew that the experience and expertise here was with opiates and not benzos and that most here probably have never experienced detoxing from both substances like I have.
inkgirl is absolutely correct in saying that people do die from benzo withdrawals as the impact those meds have on the human mind/body is 100 times more intense than any opiate could ever have. I was given the advice that my health is my responsibility and that I should have questioned my doctors advice, prescirptions and directions and that person could not be more correct. The problem with that is at the time my medical problems started I never had a reason to not trust anything a doctor told me and that I could place complete trust in their training adn knowledge and that they always had my best interest at heart.
How many people here that first went to a doctor EVER questioned a script they had been given? How many people here ever questioned their doctor when they were given that first script for Norco or Lortab when they were sitting there in pain. Probably not one of us. I know I didn't.
I've received better advice and direction from the people on this forum than I ever did from my doctors. I've received more info from total strangers here than any doctor ive ever seen. I've been treated better by total strangers here than I ever have been by my doctors. Total strangers here care more about my health and wellbeing than any doctor ive ever seen. That alone is making me cry. WHERE WERE YOU PEOPLE 7 YEARS AGO! :)
The fact that I can come here when I'm scared, mad, hurting and freaking out is beyond amazing. The fact that strangers take their valuable time to try and console me, to try and get me through a rough patch, listen to me complain and sometimes seem unreasonable is beyond anything I could have ever hoped for.
Today hit me like a ton of bricks and I've been reading so many posts of others saying around 2 weeks or so things were coming up roses. At almost 3 weeks I was feeling so bad I thought I was a total loss and nothing I did was going to change that.
I truly tried NOT to freak out today but I guess I failed there as well. As I said...the depression/anxiety today was at a level I never expected which is why I was desperately reaching out to all of you in hopes someone might chime in saying they too had a similar experience with they did. That alone helped calm me down...along with an intensly hot shower.
THANKS TO ALL OF YOU! You may have just saved a life!
Sorry Clean but people DO die from Benzo WD's! Please make sure if the chest pains and palps don't slow that you check with your doctor!
I sorta feel bad for responding to your post, because I too relapsed because of this same reason. BUT before I go any further, I just have to tell you, please dont give up! From what Ive read from the responses you have received, is some good suggestions. I am seriously considering applying some of them to my life. I am right with you as far as most of what you have said. This is not my first go round with quitting ct. It is sooo ez to get caught up, trying to do the right thing by taking something to help one issue, but you could be starting, or hurting another issue. My story is very similar to yours is alot of ways. I also feel exactly what your are saying, because at 3 wks!!! I was still feeling emotionally ill, mentally sick. Depressed, and yes anxiety all the time. I could not believe that at 3 WEEKS clean from opiates, that I still felt that bad. It was horrible, it really took my hope that I would make it away. So yes I relapsed, now Im back at it, trying to figure out a way to fight this monster. Dont give up, we have to find a way to make it through, you have soooo much to live for, as I do too! Im just trying to gather my thoughts, and head in the right direction with this thing. Gotta dig deeper, than ever before to mustard up the will to fight through again tho. We have no other choice, the choices we do have now is to choose to get the correct help, and support to help us make it through. God Bless you.
Hi I too have a very hard time with opiate withdrawal.I have done it more than a few times and it always takes way longer for me to feel better and more motivated.I don't ever get a pink cloud or any such thing.It always takes me at least 30 days to feel like I will make it through and many more days after that to get my energy back.You are not alone just hang in there and give it some time. Hope you feel better soon.
I agree, try a walk outside get some fresh air. Big deep breaths! Don't let this go too far! You may want to give your doctor a call! I'm hoping you find some relief and feel better soon!
Listen, I'm not discounting what you've gone through, and there's NO doubt people have experienced horrible hells when coming off benzos, they are not easy in every circumstance to come off. I'm also sorry your doctor didn't know the basics, that benzos should NEVER be stopped abruptly. Most likely, if you had been properly tapered, your experience would have been FAR different, even if it wasn't perfect, it didn't have to be like that.
I'm not trying to make you feel badly...you feel badly enough on your own, my main point was that, you're pointing to the Xanax as being one of the big issues. It may be a contributing factor, but the truth is, addiction is addiction...there will always be an excuse to use. You may not have a history of depression, or anxiety, but it sure sounds like you're dealing with it now...and you have to deal with it, with a professional.
This is a good lesson for others about not having blind faith in docs, about the importance of educating oneself about any medication a doc wants to prescribe...including how to take it, the risks, and how to stop taking it. If you had done that, you MAY have avoided some of the nightmare you went through. That isn't a dig at you either, a lot of people don't educate themselves about meds...sad but true. Many just take the word of the doctor, and let's face it, some docs are just lousy, some docs are not thorough, the list is long.
You've been through a LOT lately. You're going through a ton of emotional turmoil, which again, is why you need to seek help. Help doesn't have to be in the form of the same kind of antidepressant you tried before (which meds have you tried, btw, and for how long?)...therapy alone can be VERY beneficial, and there are other treatments as well.
You need to find an addiction program that's going to help you address ALL of these issues. This doesn't have to be the end of your clean time. It's a bump in the road....MANY go through it. Try not to be TOO Hard on yourself. Instead of telling yourself, "not sure you can get past this"...tell yourself you WILL get past this. LEARN from this, turn it into something positive. You are trying to recover in the midst of losing two people close to you. That would be a challenge for ANYONE!
I'm sorry if my replies offended you or made you feel worse, it certainly wasn't my intention...I just wanted to try to explain that it's so easy to want to find SOMETHING to blame for where you're at. It's SO important to have accountability. Think of how much more you know now.
My thoughts are with you...PLEASE take the advice of the people here...and do those basic things...get rid of your source, tell someone, and get some help.
Take care!
I'm not trying to make you feel badly...you feel badly enough on your own, my main point was that, you're pointing to the Xanax as being one of the big issues. It may be a contributing factor, but the truth is, addiction is addiction...there will always be an excuse to use. You may not have a history of depression, or anxiety, but it sure sounds like you're dealing with it now...and you have to deal with it, with a professional.
This is a good lesson for others about not having blind faith in docs, about the importance of educating oneself about any medication a doc wants to prescribe...including how to take it, the risks, and how to stop taking it. If you had done that, you MAY have avoided some of the nightmare you went through. That isn't a dig at you either, a lot of people don't educate themselves about meds...sad but true. Many just take the word of the doctor, and let's face it, some docs are just lousy, some docs are not thorough, the list is long.
You've been through a LOT lately. You're going through a ton of emotional turmoil, which again, is why you need to seek help. Help doesn't have to be in the form of the same kind of antidepressant you tried before (which meds have you tried, btw, and for how long?)...therapy alone can be VERY beneficial, and there are other treatments as well.
You need to find an addiction program that's going to help you address ALL of these issues. This doesn't have to be the end of your clean time. It's a bump in the road....MANY go through it. Try not to be TOO Hard on yourself. Instead of telling yourself, "not sure you can get past this"...tell yourself you WILL get past this. LEARN from this, turn it into something positive. You are trying to recover in the midst of losing two people close to you. That would be a challenge for ANYONE!
I'm sorry if my replies offended you or made you feel worse, it certainly wasn't my intention...I just wanted to try to explain that it's so easy to want to find SOMETHING to blame for where you're at. It's SO important to have accountability. Think of how much more you know now.
My thoughts are with you...PLEASE take the advice of the people here...and do those basic things...get rid of your source, tell someone, and get some help.
Take care!
No pills laying around. Got one from a friend who saw me today and could tell how bad I was feeling. Bad idea I know but I'm a first timer with this and am thinking the benzo wd and opiate wd finally caught up with me.
Try getting out for some fresh air - or a hot shower can also help. Stop rushing the process, it will take as long as it takes. But you're healing even if it doesn't feel like that. The symptoms you describe are extremely typical for withdrawal/early recovery. But you can NOT have access to your doc. You didn't answer so do you have pills laying around?
yeah I just made the same mistake as nursey and now realize you quit the benzos a year or so ago. But most of my response applies - recovery can easily take that long. But don't lose hope - overall, there's no comparsion to how I feel today compared to how I felt a year ago. So hang in there. It gets better. :)
Guys...not sure I'm gonna get past this one. I've never felt this way before. I vividly remember around day 8 feeling pretty good and seeing light at the end of the tunnel then the bottom fell out. Holy cow..what happened? I cant focus or concentrate, my mind is real foggy and absolutely no motivation amont a few other physical symps.
Anyone else felt like this 18 days off opates? Sure hope someone can chime in here abou that. Im really struggling right now and dont know what to do. Feels like Im screaming inside and cant let it out.
Anyone else felt like this 18 days off opates? Sure hope someone can chime in here abou that. Im really struggling right now and dont know what to do. Feels like Im screaming inside and cant let it out.
I don't usually share this part of my recovery on the forum, but my withdrawal from benzos was horrendous. Awful. And it went on for two years plus (still have the occasional moment where I don't feel right) - but again, I don't share that much here either. But I couldn't agree more with you, and Dr. Ashton for that matter. The withdrawal is awful and the recovery even worse, and typically longer than opiate withdrawal. No wonder every Dr. I saw (outside of the doc who gave me the xanax) would look at me with horror when I told them how long I'd been taking them. They would quickly inform me I had a long and very difficult battle ahead of me if I ever decided to quit and I dismissed them every time. I knew better. And I have never been more wrong in my life.
Hang in there and by all means, taper off the benzos by connecting with your Dr. and setting a solid and safe tapering plan. Don't make the mistake like I did by quitting them cold turkey.
Hang in there and by all means, taper off the benzos by connecting with your Dr. and setting a solid and safe tapering plan. Don't make the mistake like I did by quitting them cold turkey.
Welcome back then.
Don't have Benzo experience to share, but I support ya man,
Sounds like a few things are going on and over lapping, making it seem a mountain of a mess..
Take it slow ..first things first. Recovery is a journey, a journey back to our real selves.
I don't face the challenges you face right now, and I'm not sure I would have as much courage as you are demonstrating. It takes guts to say "hey It didnt work this time" I'm back to try again.....
The props go to you man,,,
hang tough
Free~
Don't have Benzo experience to share, but I support ya man,
Sounds like a few things are going on and over lapping, making it seem a mountain of a mess..
Take it slow ..first things first. Recovery is a journey, a journey back to our real selves.
I don't face the challenges you face right now, and I'm not sure I would have as much courage as you are demonstrating. It takes guts to say "hey It didnt work this time" I'm back to try again.....
The props go to you man,,,
hang tough
Free~
Dear, I got the pill name it's midazolam. Or something like that, it a benzo confirm!
Ive tried every anti depressant known to man with horrible side effects so those out not an option for me. I would have to take issue with a few responses about the length of time for benzo withdrawal and how it effects a person.
The Ashton Manual is to benzo withdrawal as the Thomas Recipie is to opiate withdrawal. My experience with benzo's has been a textbook case according to Dr. Ashton and the effects are nothing short of horrible. I dont have enough time to explain all the damage even short term use of benzos can cause a person but trust me they are real and much more difficult to recover from.
For the past year Ive spent every day on the benzo withdrawal website speaking with others in my exact same situation with regards to symptoms and duration. Let me say there are thousands of people just like me suffering just as long as I have so I do know what I'm talkng about in this area. Id say much more knowledgeable than most here. Im not trying to start a fight or make an excuse for taking a pill but it is upsetting to hear how dismissive some can be when they dont have experience with benzos.
This forum has been nothing short of a God send for me and the people here are beyond amazing but I'm experiencing something that I have never gone through before. I do not have a history of depression or anxiety..those did not come along until the surgeries but doctors told me to continue taking benzos and a few other meds which caused a mental status change in me and Im trying to get back.
Starting Sunday I woke up with depression that only got worse as the day progressed. Yesterday was manageable but for some reason today I was hit with a wave of anxiety/depression, foggy brain, blurry vision and a few other symptoms and it really scared me.
I have read hundreds of posts here and see that most people are feellng much better in 10 days or so...I am not so that's scaring me. I correspond with someone saying she has tried to ct opiates 3 times before and each time around the 17-19 day mark her symptoms would really flare up causing her to relapse. I guess I'm hoping that is what is going on with me today.
Just out of nowhere today severe heart palps and anxiety hit me. Thank you for your words of encouragement and supprot. They really do help but in times like this my poor brain really has a tough time focusing. sure wish this would end.
The Ashton Manual is to benzo withdrawal as the Thomas Recipie is to opiate withdrawal. My experience with benzo's has been a textbook case according to Dr. Ashton and the effects are nothing short of horrible. I dont have enough time to explain all the damage even short term use of benzos can cause a person but trust me they are real and much more difficult to recover from.
For the past year Ive spent every day on the benzo withdrawal website speaking with others in my exact same situation with regards to symptoms and duration. Let me say there are thousands of people just like me suffering just as long as I have so I do know what I'm talkng about in this area. Id say much more knowledgeable than most here. Im not trying to start a fight or make an excuse for taking a pill but it is upsetting to hear how dismissive some can be when they dont have experience with benzos.
This forum has been nothing short of a God send for me and the people here are beyond amazing but I'm experiencing something that I have never gone through before. I do not have a history of depression or anxiety..those did not come along until the surgeries but doctors told me to continue taking benzos and a few other meds which caused a mental status change in me and Im trying to get back.
Starting Sunday I woke up with depression that only got worse as the day progressed. Yesterday was manageable but for some reason today I was hit with a wave of anxiety/depression, foggy brain, blurry vision and a few other symptoms and it really scared me.
I have read hundreds of posts here and see that most people are feellng much better in 10 days or so...I am not so that's scaring me. I correspond with someone saying she has tried to ct opiates 3 times before and each time around the 17-19 day mark her symptoms would really flare up causing her to relapse. I guess I'm hoping that is what is going on with me today.
Just out of nowhere today severe heart palps and anxiety hit me. Thank you for your words of encouragement and supprot. They really do help but in times like this my poor brain really has a tough time focusing. sure wish this would end.
It happens :) Start over and do it this time...I'm only on my third go around, life is tough, get a helmet! We are rooting for you.
Hi dear, I wish to share this.with you and I Don know why but I felt I had something to tell you and hope this short true story will heal you some, but first of all, relapse is part and parcel of am addict, we are looking at recovered then recovery! I know you can, I have full confidence in you, really!
I had a friend, which is addicted to the little green devil pill. I forget what it called but I know it Benzo.initially he was just popping them as and went, but one final day, he decided to boost up the effect and started injecting.it.
When he was on popping period, he took about 13-15pills per day already and after switch to iv he was worst then ever, almost 20.. I know he's going to lose his arm in this game soon,
I tried to tell him, but all he could tell me is I don't understand. I highlights to him each of us have difficulties in life however, this does not help him.
113 days ago, he was pronounced death .
He jump off from storey 12 from his flat. Leaving behind his wife and 2 pretty cute daughter..
He is only 34 when dead.
the moral of the story is: drug addiction has got no nice endin ! Either you overdose. You trade in other pill, and worst is death.
I truly hope you will buckle up your seat belt and drive safely again, I felt all of my friend sorrows, really, I think the only reason he seek death God is because of insecurity and miserable that's why he numb himself till he lost his mind..
The road ahead is tough, and very! I know and understand how you going thru this procedure, because I am also am addict that faces more relapse moment then you do, cause I got no motivation in me that is lacking, but I am still trying trying trying. I will not be defeat by this demon.. I know I have to get out from this soon before I am the next prisoner or just like my friend choose selfish act, death..
You are so lucky to gel so so so much support from people here which are sincere, true, and knowledgeable, I hope this 1 pill that. You took was just a sudden rush and that you will grab yourself up and ride again,
Dear! Do not give up n you're not alone ..
I looking forward to hear your 30days achievement, 60-90and on on on,
I hope and will send a prayer for you, stay calm whenever you felt **** up, grab a glass of super chill plain water take a few deep breath and breath out strongly. It does help,
Hear from you soon.
with love Cherie
I had a friend, which is addicted to the little green devil pill. I forget what it called but I know it Benzo.initially he was just popping them as and went, but one final day, he decided to boost up the effect and started injecting.it.
When he was on popping period, he took about 13-15pills per day already and after switch to iv he was worst then ever, almost 20.. I know he's going to lose his arm in this game soon,
I tried to tell him, but all he could tell me is I don't understand. I highlights to him each of us have difficulties in life however, this does not help him.
113 days ago, he was pronounced death .
He jump off from storey 12 from his flat. Leaving behind his wife and 2 pretty cute daughter..
He is only 34 when dead.
the moral of the story is: drug addiction has got no nice endin ! Either you overdose. You trade in other pill, and worst is death.
I truly hope you will buckle up your seat belt and drive safely again, I felt all of my friend sorrows, really, I think the only reason he seek death God is because of insecurity and miserable that's why he numb himself till he lost his mind..
The road ahead is tough, and very! I know and understand how you going thru this procedure, because I am also am addict that faces more relapse moment then you do, cause I got no motivation in me that is lacking, but I am still trying trying trying. I will not be defeat by this demon.. I know I have to get out from this soon before I am the next prisoner or just like my friend choose selfish act, death..
You are so lucky to gel so so so much support from people here which are sincere, true, and knowledgeable, I hope this 1 pill that. You took was just a sudden rush and that you will grab yourself up and ride again,
Dear! Do not give up n you're not alone ..
I looking forward to hear your 30days achievement, 60-90and on on on,
I hope and will send a prayer for you, stay calm whenever you felt **** up, grab a glass of super chill plain water take a few deep breath and breath out strongly. It does help,
Hear from you soon.
with love Cherie
It's always so hard for me to know the difference in someone that truly needs to be on xanax verses someone who doesn't. I too agree that you should see a counselor. Also if you're feeling anxiety and depression narcotics aren't the answer. I'm on day 38 ct from using xanax for 16 yrs and narcotics for 5 yrs so I know its possible to be free from these. You can do it! Like everyone said, don't stay down, get up and try again tomorrow. Best wishes to you:)
Just wanted to say that im thinking of you a lot lately. Having those losses are so hard... i know I've been there. I agree with lots of the above, and really really think counseling is imperative for you. The addiction and depression are double whammys... and linked together so tightly. All my best, and keep trying!
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