Aa
I just want to give up! And give in!
My life seemed so "normal" when I was on the percocets, I was able to attend all my children's functions, NEVER missed a game, which there is one everyday, and yesterday for the first time, I missed my son's phenomenal game. Then the more I read on this forum, the more discouraged I feel because just hearing the stories about how long it will take me to get my energy back scares the living **** out of me. I was up at 4 everyday, drop my husband off at work, come back get my children ready and off to school, get myself through my 8 1/2 hr wrk day, come home, beep the horn for the kids to get into the car and head straight to the field. I don't get to step foot back into my home until about 8pm. How am I supposed to wait for at least a month to get my energy back? I'm on day 2 and the only symptoms I'm having now is the lack of energy, mental breakdown, back pain(original reason I started n these things) and a craving that is killing me. I just really want to give up. It's not the physical aspect It's the mental aspect and the energy factor that is driving me insane. I truly hate myself right now.
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Hi there and welcome! I get it. I was addicted to vicodins. I'm a mom of 3 very active kiddos who play select soccer. I manage one of the teams. I volunteer at school. I have a job analyzing financial data. The lack of energy was nearly the deal breaker for me. But, yes...it does come back. It DOES get better. I had to learn to let go of some things for a few weeks like a clean house, preparing meals, etc. It was ok to let the kids have sandwiches and fruit for dinner....or cereal even. I seriously could not make all games and practices - I learned that it was ok because I was making their mother better. The energy slowly came back...a little more each day after the first 7-10 days.
If you are able to walk trails or a track at practice or games, try and get in a short walk. Exercise will help get your natural endorphins going again - even in small amounts. Continue to eat healthy when you can eat. Stay hydrated. A good multi-vit and protein drinks will help as well.
I promise you that it will get better a little bit at a time. My kids were not aware of what I was going thru, but they sure did notice a difference in the post-vicodin mom!
You are doing a great job! You should be very proud of yourself!
If you are able to walk trails or a track at practice or games, try and get in a short walk. Exercise will help get your natural endorphins going again - even in small amounts. Continue to eat healthy when you can eat. Stay hydrated. A good multi-vit and protein drinks will help as well.
I promise you that it will get better a little bit at a time. My kids were not aware of what I was going thru, but they sure did notice a difference in the post-vicodin mom!
You are doing a great job! You should be very proud of yourself!
I really hope that's the case and this was it for the physical. I actually would rather deal with the physical rather than the psychological w/d. I think it's cool your Mom and I have similar jobs. It is definitely a lot of work. I was already on the meds when I started there, so it's just been the norm for me. I'm just scared, as I'm sure everyone who is trying to recover from addictions is.
I sent you a private message with a question. Just didn't feel confident enough to ask directly on this post as I'm already embarrassed of my situation as it is.
I had told you earlier that I didnt have much physical w/d and I was on norcos for almost 2 years. I was really surprised. I only used imodium once, had a bit of RLS and some back pain for 2 days, thats it. I did use xanax to help sleep but now im sleeping fine on my own. I swear, the worst of it was my mood, I did not want anyone around me. So I think we are lucky, not everyone has to have bad w/d. I was up and out on day 4, so you can be too!!
wow, my mom has a similar role. I work at her company now, well not HER company but she runs the accounting dept and she is the compliance officer, she does payroll, HR and billing, she has alot on her plate. Not that this is about her but your position reminded me of her. I can see where if you have had your job for a long time and you get on these pills you can do your job well, I use to when I was a loan processor. But now that I have a new job, its tougher. You will be fine, I promise. I bet you will be even better at your job off of these things. You just can't see it now but you will, soon.
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As far as money goes, I know what you mean about how much it can drain the bank account. Not even counting the money spent on pills, I used to buy stuff with zero discretion, stuff I wouldn't even want if I wasn't high on pills. Its like you try to fill a void. I made horrible decisions while on them that seemed like such a great idea at the time. Its embarrassing to even think about.