Sick and tired

[RandyWhisk]

**** this *****. I am really beginning to get dopesick and don't feel like writing a lot. However I am really getting tired of this. For years I been hooked on Trams. It began year ago. I say for 3 straight years there was never a day I was not taking 20 50mg pills a day. I lost ton's of money because somehow I felt I could trade the markets even better than if I was straight well for those that wish to try the answer is No you can't but you will for sure feel you can. So much for feelings don't trust them. It's probably why so many marriages fail because so many start on strong feelings. Anyhow relationships are not my problem basically because I have only one with my loyal dog Whisk. Back to my problem. Long story short on Trams 3 years no stop move back to the US I have some real back issues but only now and then however I am able to get Trams from the VA for them. So now I can only get 260 for 30 days which last me 13 maybe 14 days.
Then the not nice detox for a few days but never feeling good until my next script is filled. For the last 2 months I have been able to get from another source some Vicodins 7.5/500. But only around 50 or so a month. Well let me tell you it's a very differnt drug and for me so much weeker.
I need to take at least 15 Vicodins to get close to where Trams get me. My worry is the Acetaminophen being so high so I am now wish just to quit. Don't worry and please do not give me this do not stop trams CT. I am not one of those that has a problem with it. I been doing it every month for a year now. However I am tired of living this way it's sick and makes me sick. I know I need to stop for good. I just don't know how to really do it.

I will see if I can post a pic of Whisk my dog and by far the best relationship with the most love I have ever been blessed with.

Well that's it
Have a nice Easter everyone
Randy and Whisk

[ImDONENoMore]

I do understand what you're saying as far as not feeling strong enough to quit when things aren't going well.  But that is the problem right?  I mean, life is always going to be good sometimes and bad sometimes.  I think it comes down to deciding when ENOUGH is enough for you - and only you can make that decision.

And I can tell you that quitting the tramadol was the best decision of my life.  And my life isn't perfect now, far from it, but it is better than it ever was when I was taking the trams.  But I don't want to get "preachy" on you here - only you can decide when you're ready to quit for good.  :)

[RandyWhisk]

Hi Imdone-Nomore

Well I have no more drugs for 3 weeks.So I will be clean as far as drugs goes before I get more. Tonight is the 1st of the cold turkey nights. It's a real pain first I get this real itchy throat which makes me cough like crazy and then ton's of saliva comes up. I have no idea how it gets made so fast and why so much. Of course I get that ear ringing thing going on now and probably for another day and finally a weird like off balance feeling in the head when I tilt my head back and forth. I have been doing this so long I know it by heart.

There is a very special Vitamin pack that I need to get that helped me quick for a time 2 years ago. IT made me feel good and peaceful with lots of energy so I will work on that this week. The part I said I don't know how to do is to just say No when a opportunity presents itself. To be honest when things are good in my life and I feel good that becomes the best preventive I have found so far. But when times get bad then it becomes really hard to say no and walk away.

Thank you for your comments on Whiskey. I love him more than any human I ever loved.
He's 5 now and I hope I don't outlive him I am 57. I don't have a death wish but I would not wish to live my life without him.

R&W

[ImDONENoMore]

Firstly - welcome!  And secondly, and equally important - I LOVE LOVE LOVE the pic of your dog Whisk!  What a cutie is right - I am a HUGE dog lover and my little one is the love of my life (oops, sorry, I think that award goes to my husband, but you know what I mean!) :)

And I am SO sorry you're going through this.  And I know what you're going through - tramadol was my DOC (or should I say POISON) for over 6 years and I'm almost 9 months clean now.  And the withdrawal is very uncomfortable - in some ways, worse than your standard opiate withdrawal because of the anti-depressant in this drug (not sure if you knew that?)

Now I can tell you I AM one of those members who quit this drug cold turkey.  And I know it's not recommended to do it that way because of risk of seizure.  Of course, I never knew that when I quit - I had only read stories of those experiencing seizures while taking the trams.  So live and learn I guess - and I also quit xanax on the same day and I didn't know that you weren't supposed to ct from a benzo either - that it could be life threatening.  So I know it was only sheer luck that I made it through.

So that being said, where are you at now?  Do you still have drugs left or are you out now and trying to quit?  Tell me more about that and I'm sure I, along with other members here, can help you out.  There are a lot of remedies to use during withdrawal/recovery that can help you feel better after you've quit.   :)  p.s. and if you look on the right side of your screen under "recent activity" you'll see some activity from members who post on the "tramadol and ultram" thread - that place was a LIFESAVER for me and I think it would help you too.

[RandyWhisk]

Oh they censored 2 words
The first word can mean crap replacing the word that first letter is S
The second word also begins with S and it's what a vacuum cleaner does.

I see Whisk pic came out isn't he a cutie!

R&W