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Avatar universal

I need to scream!

I have visited this forum many times in the past five years. Having been in rehab three times (due to overkill with pain meds for surgeries)the last being my family's final straw, was my wake up call. It's been almost two years and I'm tapering from my suboxone regimine. Wow. Is all I have to say. I'm down to .5 mgs a day since Tuesday. I came here for advice on how to get through the last week of my taper. I've put myself in a bad way by cheating last night and taking and extra .5 because I thought I was going out of my mind. Mind being key word. My doctor said that I have hardly no trace of suboxone in my system. The wds are in my head. Really??? I know everyone is different and react differently to tapers. I will be short and have no suboxone for a whole day before my next doctors visit. I'm already freaking out. Does anyone have any home remedies that can help? I have wiped out my Ativan supply as well so that's adding fuel to the fire. I have two young children and a husband who doesn't get it.
Best Answer
5783082 tn?1374177161
Hey, I'm day 4 with no suboxone from my taper, and I'm a mom of two, so I can definitely relate, my husband "gets it", because I showed him this: https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1CHWA_enUS635US635&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=suboxone%20withdrawal%20symptoms
and let him talk to my doctor, who explained that opiate withdrawal really *****! My doctor suggested a few things to help with symptoms. An amino acid called L-tyrosine, which is found in bananas, meat, cheese, etc. or buy at a health food store and it's what your body needs to make the "feel good" chemicals. If I could only afford one thing, it would be the L-tyrosine! I can tell a difference when I take it, then go running. Also, excercise boosts your brain to make those feel good chemicals that your body has forgotten to make because the opiate did it's job. Multivitamin, anything with potassium, magnesium, iron and zinc help with restless legs.

I will say, comparing my experience from coming off of stuff on the streets and coming off of a good taper, a lot of the symptoms are in my head! I psych myself out so much fearing the symptoms, but when I calm down, live in the moment, I realize I really don't feel as bad as I thought. My sponsor has always told me "Sometimes instead of taking one day at a time, you really have to take it one minute at a time", and when detoxing, I try to remember that. Anyone can do anything for just one minute! Keep it up, you can do this! You dropped down way lower than I did before making the jump, so I imagine you'll do just fine ;) Praying for ya, you will look back and it will all be worth it!

Here's where I get my l-tyrosine, since I saw you asked where to get some supplements. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DR28E74/ref=sr_ph?ie=UTF8&qid=1442685153&sr=1&keywords=l-tyrosine  
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Avatar universal
Hi! My apologies! I started a new thread a few days ago because I couldn't figure out why at day 14 I was so miserable and  rls was a nightmare. Well...  At day 18 im so happy to say I feel so different. Better! I got some supplements to help with the rls and everything else seemed to subside as well. I had a semi meltdown Saturday night and the hubby got scared. I Didn't mean to scare him I just couldn't take it anymore rls anxiety. The works. I went to er my mom took me. They gave me three Valium and basically said too bad so sad you in wds. They stink lol s Sunday I went to gnc and got the things I've read about to help. I've had great sleep past three nights no rls and days have been brighter to say the least. I think  my potassium was really low cuz seems as soon as I took that I immediately felt better. I'd put that on your list of must haves when you start tapering. And magnesium. That helps the rls as well. I know I hardly ate anything for two weeks and now I can't stop lol so much for the weight I dropped! Come back and visit. I'll make sure to check back. The other thread I have is like 14 days why rls. You will see it. Thanks for checking in!
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Avatar universal
I'm so sorry to hear your husband is being g like that! Just try to remember he can try all he wants to "take the kids" but if your clean now he has no hope. No court will take kids from their clean mother!  Hang in there honey- I hope your feeling better- it's been a fee days since you posted that so hopefully things are starting to subside. ..if not they should be very soon. I pray that you have been able to stay strong- I'm failing misarably... I need to to find a a way to stop rationalizing why it's ok not to drop my dose yet...I want to get this going but I keep finding reasons why tomorrow would be a better day to start. I hope to hear from you soon. God bless babe-hug them beautiful babies of yours and know it will be better.
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Avatar universal
Hi Vic. It would be uncalled for for anyone we know to see us in a place like that. He' thinks being an ******* and threatening me will make me say oh, ok I'm over it. Now my mom decides I shouldn't take Imodium a and to stop drinking wmeegwv. I feel like I have no control i just want to run as far away as I can and never look back. I need to feel better soon cu my mental state can't handle. I did call the sub rehabs and they laughed when I told them I tapered to .5. I guess there is something wrong with me.this from my own mind to everyone else around me thinking I'm milking this. I with one day they could feel what I feel and not be so mean. I'm deathly afraid of him packing the kids and then all hell with break lose. Might as well be full blown pill head if that happens nothing to leave fo then. Sport to sound morning but my heart is aching crying along with everything else
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Avatar universal
Hi Vic. It would be uncalled for for anyone we know to see us in a place like that. He' thinks being an ******* and threatening me will make me say oh, ok I'm over it. Now my mom decides I shouldn't take Imodium a and to stop drinking wmeegwv. I feel like I have no control i just want to run as far away as I can and never look back. I need to feel better soon cu my mental state can't handle. I did call the sub rehabs and they laughed when I told them I tapered to .6  I guess there is something wrong with me.this from my own mind to everyone else around me thinking I'm milking this. I just one day they could feel what I feel
Helpful - 0
4522800 tn?1470325834
Since this is not the first time and you were in a re-hab too, do you have ANY info on Addiction and/or Recovery that your Hub can read. I brought home some videos for my Family to see. These were all about the Brain and what drugs do and why we can get so hooked. Lots of intertwine information. I also picked up tons of paperwork on this too. Maybe if he would only Educate himself a bit about this. My Family were the ones that kept me going. Mostly when I could not take how long it had went on. They would say TIME! Give it Time as you are healing still. I wish you all the best. It has to be sad not having Support from a love one. YOU just keep the Focus on YOU!
Have him go to a Open Meeting with YOU! Then he will pick up some more info about all of this.
Bless
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Avatar universal
Day 11 complaints.  I can't ait still. My muscles are jumping off my bone. Hurts bad. Taking 800mg Motrin but muihjt as well not have.Tried Epsoms bath and make it worse. Hubby is home to due weather conditions. Lucky me. He's nitpicking about everything I'm trying to do for myelse like that's find and next he's putting me in a psych ward. I'm doing everything I've been told and he thinks I'm on drugs. Really cuz I can give him a squeaky clean reality if need be. He's threatening to take my kids. In his eyes I should've felt better a week ago so alobviouslt somethings wrong. Im scared a fm don't know what to do anymore! Can anyone give advice cuz thinks are looking good for me
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Avatar universal
Hang in there honey.   You will turn a corner soon; for me, 14 days brought a new and safer plateau for me.    The "bad days" will occur less and less.  

You are doing GREAT; pat yourself on the back.  Getting off these drugs is no small feat.  Take a big (((HUG)))!!
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Avatar universal
Hey! I don't feel like much of an inspiration right now. I just put up another question cuz I have a feeling it took a while for my wds to get bad. I'm in a really bad spot today. But you're on the right track as tapering seems to be the way to do it.I think getting down to the lowest dose imaginable can only help. It's hard having kids when you just feel like being taken care like one. It helps for someone to know close to you that you'll be going through a lot in the next few months. Any help you can get with the babes will make life dealing with it a lot easier. Especially the little one who needs most attention. The older ones will understand you don't feel good.
Good luck with getting down to business. I can only imagine bdays and this holiday season coming up not being in a hazy fog. It's all about the kids for me and it's keeping me going even though it's tough. I've gotten good advise but you can never get enough encouragement. I read every new comment and any new question everyday. It keeps me going. I hate complaining but there are people who care on here. Keep reading as knowledge can only help you!
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Avatar universal
Hi smalltownmom- I just wanted to let you know your an inspiration to me- although I am about to taper and go through a different kind of Hell, it's nice to hear that your still hanging in there and are conquering your own demons. I am tapering myself off of methadone amd am scared **** less because it's one of the hardest drugs to come off of. I know i'm looking down the barrel of a 30-60 withdrawl after I go through the mini Hell from the taper. It going to be a long hard road but I want to do it for my kids. I have 3 beautiful babies, an almost 13 yo, an almost 6 yo amd an almost 2 yo. (All their bdays are coming up Oct, Nov and Dec) I'm tired of having to worry that my monthly script will stop for one reason or another (right now my dr is being investigated,  was raided 1 year ago) I can feel it my gut that he will lose his liscence and then I will have to go cold turkey from a 9 year stretch of a 120 MG dose for the 1st 8 years, and now 90 MG for the last 1 year. I would live to stay in contact so we can help each other through it...good luck, I will be praying for you
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Avatar universal
Hi all Waking up day 9 and frustrated. I just want to sleep. blocks of 20 mins sleep and 2 hours awake through the night stinks. I think it took a few days for my wds to set in because I feel worse now than a week ago. hopefully it'll get better through today? I'm ready to give up. ugh
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Avatar universal
Day 7 has woke up my early. Had a little RLS this morning. I did get another 5 straight hours of sleep though! Felt good! I have to babysit my four month old great niece tonight. Holding new life in my arms will give me some great energy. Have a great weekend!
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Avatar universal
I just wanted to respond to pillguy about predisposition. Yes yes yes! My best Dad is a recovering alcoholic of 30+ years. I heard a lot about that in detox. I have his genetic defect as he had his Dad's and so on. I know he didn't put the pills in my mouth but my brain is wired like his. And I'm proud to say it as he is my hero ;)
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Avatar universal
:-)))))
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Avatar universal
You are 100% right about everything. I already have a list of the "Purge" that's going to take place. I have always been a pretty organized person. Well, let me just say even though I feel like I never sit down in my house, I don't know what the heck I've been doing! Its so weird that I'm now realizing it. I mustve been in a serious fog for the past five years. I think ive just been skimming the surface and getting by running this house. Things are changing my friends. My military mind came out last night. My kids said I sounded like a drill sergeant. Ive been so lazy about things that they've got into a groove and let me tell you... no more! Its a great thing though I think. I'm taking charge! I think everyone is a little frightened like - who is this lady! Its great!
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Avatar universal
Yep, I agree with Spider6.  You are over the hump with acute withdrawals.  You're going to have a tough day here and there for the next week but you are on the upside.  I think there are many here like me, who gets this wonder feeling that another person is on the path to being free.  I'm very happy for you.  Don't fret about the meetings!  There are other forms of aftercare and NA/AA are just some.  I'm not interested in starting a debate right now about pros/cons of those.  If any members feel compelled to have that discussion please post a new question and I'd be happy to participate.  With that said, we pretty much can't use opiates again.  No, we aren't "fixed" when we break the dependency to use.  We have altered our physical brain in a way that makes relapse more likely, as well as probably having a genetic pre-disposition to enjoying their use.  You've probably already seen some of the classic excuses; "I will use them responsibility", "I will only use for a little bit of time", " I need this right now for (fill in the blank: death, divorce, job loss etc).

This won't work for even the most responsible person because of the nature of opiates.  It takes more and more to do the same thing.  That's called homeostasis, our brain changes due to drugs we take.  Imagine if you took your food budget.  And every time we went to the store you spent the same money but you got less each time.  I doesn't take much to figure out what will happen.  In time you won't be able to buy enough food.  No way around that math.

Sounds like you are doing very well.  Keep up the good work.  Remember there's a fair likelyhood that your next month is going to be tough but for different reasons.  In past posts I've used words like depression and lethargy.  They probably seem harsh and may not accurately describe what went on for me.  I just didn't feel like doing anything.  No energy.  NOTHING!  I also believe this is very common, like virtually everyone goes through this.  This has historacally been a tough time for me.  This is where my relapse have occurred.  This is the time to summon your warrior spirit!  "OK, I fell like crap and that's fine.  I know it passes and I cannot be defeated".  Please send me private messages if you must talk to someone and the site is slow.  I don't go to NA/AA meetings.  THIS is my aftercare.  Let me know how I may help.
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Avatar universal
Hey man! hope youre feeling ok! I know it's got to be tough. After I had sent you that message I realized that it was soon you were having your surgery. I just kept on writing on here. I know there's a lot going on this forum. Everyone looking for the answers. Even just getting a little off my mind for ten mins typing here has been a major help. My babbling in the past few posts will keep you amused for a bit haha! Take care and keep updating how you're doing.
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Avatar universal
Hey, sorry for not seeing your posts.  I got my right knee scoped Friday.  There's been pre-op meetings and EKGs and the surgery (yesterday).  I'm going back to read your recent posts so I know ant you're be dealing with.  If you need to talk and are not getting a response sent a private message directly to me.  I check those everyday and I get a (you gots mail) announcement from gmail.  I'll b posting again this morning after reading about how you are doing.  I'll also drop you a note

Larry
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5986700 tn?1380791380
Hey Chickie, wow, guess what?....I think you're over the worst of it !!!......now comes the work.  Keeping positive is your friend, your master key, your gold ticket......keep the "stinkin thinkin" at bay with the "ideal" that you're striving for.  

Aftercare, (whatever that means to you).  Healthy clean eating, water, water, water. Exercise, music, humour, play, "giving" of yourself, love, setting new goals, journaling, business ideas, creative expression, purge yourself (get rid of all the crapp in your closets etc.), pamper and preen yourself, get a new "do".  Happy, positive, upward moving.....you've got this girl!

Sending prayers, grats and light your way.  ((((8)))) hugs.
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Avatar universal
Hi all. Day 6! Waking up after 5 straight hours sleep. I made it through yesterday with nervous chatter to the orthodontist and everyone else I had to encounter. I had some rls but the gabapentin helped with that. I tried not to take it but I could feel the cramping slightly but as everyone knows even the slightest makes it uncomfortable. Besides the massive bags under my eyes, my body seems to be picking up on its senses. Everything smells strong, tastes strong, feels weird to the touch, and my eye sight seems to be clearing. That really bugged me out. I have an issue with hearing. I have a disorder my hubby calls selective hearing. I still and always will have that haha! AND I have gotten my sense of humor back but its still tough on the nerves when something makes me mad. Still have to control the anger. Thanks for listening if someone does. Peace
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5783082 tn?1374177161
Praying for you, keep it up! Showers always help me feel better while detoxing... You can do this!
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Avatar universal
Day five. I had a massive migraine last night. Got some sleep. Feeling better today. Have to go to orthodontist with my daughter as she's getting braces. First time facing the public. Watching the Holy Father speak just makes me want this more. Feeling emotional today. I hope I get that same burst of energy I got yesterday. Peace
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Avatar universal
I just have to post this. Even if no one cares... 1/3 of the way through day 4. I just took the most energizing shower ive had in years. I started singing a Doors song out loud. No one home of course. I think I'm getting my MOJO back people!!!!!  I couldn't tell you the last time I sang in the shower. I'm super excited because I think I maybe on the upside of this. Sub taper being the cause and anxiety being my doubt of any of this six days ago on my first post. I have this forum to thank for listening. I definitely am NOT out of the woods yet. I'm expecting ups and downs. I love being up though!!!
PEACE!
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Avatar universal
I hear ya! I have been in in outpatient programs and they pushed meetings down my throat. Ive  been before when I had my license. Honestly, its not for me. If anything, Ill get in touch with my therapist. I stopped seeing her just this past june. That is when I jumped off 2mgs of sub. that lasted a day. I couldn't handle it so that's when my doc had my taper off that and here I am. I haven't contacted her to tell her I went back on it. I figured I was seeing her for so long. she would come here and we would talk like we were bffs hanging out. As long as I don't have issues where I need to take meds/ killers, I think I can get through it. I only have issues when I would be prescribed them after the three back surgeries. so basically this is my third time coming off. I know ican do it as ive done it before. ALL my docs know my issue now, before I thought I could handle the killers. NOW I know I can't. and so doesn't my mom. she would never speak to me again as well as my dad and the hubby already threatened to leave me if this happened again. I think ive learned my lesson. I WILL DO THIS! GOD AS MY WITNESS I PROCLAIM I WILL NEVER TOUCH THEM AGAIN! I did go through carpal tunnel surgery last august. took motrin. I was cool. I was on the sub too then though. I had such little sub in my system the past month the doc was so surprised I was having withdrawals. I never took the stupid things right. I ended up swallowing half the strips. ill be fine. don't feel too bad right now. This is possible! I appreciate the all the info. this rambling was basically to say meetings should be a part of the process. I get that aftercare is super important. I'm a veteran of the Air Force. I'm a veteran of pills. I'm a veteran of leaving this behind. I'm strong. I'm strong headed strong willed. I can do this. thanks peace
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Avatar universal
Hi.....well where theirs a will there is a way....about 9mo ago I started to have seizures and lost my driving privileges....I let every body in the meetings know this  for the next 90 days someone from the meeting came and picked me up and brought me home you will find addicts helping addicts is what this program is all about your only going to be gone mabe a hour and 1/2 if you stick around to talk to people..(i recamend this) but a hour and 1/2 verses going back to active addiction  it is a cheep price to pay  your family will survive you being gone a couple of times a week....keep in mind this disease can kill you and will keep trying until you find recovery right now  you need to do something pro/active for your recovery  nothing changes if nothing changes  just ask someone with thats been clean a wile here and they will tell you aftercare works
.......................................Gnarly...........................................
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