Avatar universal

I need to scream!

I have visited this forum many times in the past five years. Having been in rehab three times (due to overkill with pain meds for surgeries)the last being my family's final straw, was my wake up call. It's been almost two years and I'm tapering from my suboxone regimine. Wow. Is all I have to say. I'm down to .5 mgs a day since Tuesday. I came here for advice on how to get through the last week of my taper. I've put myself in a bad way by cheating last night and taking and extra .5 because I thought I was going out of my mind. Mind being key word. My doctor said that I have hardly no trace of suboxone in my system. The wds are in my head. Really??? I know everyone is different and react differently to tapers. I will be short and have no suboxone for a whole day before my next doctors visit. I'm already freaking out. Does anyone have any home remedies that can help? I have wiped out my Ativan supply as well so that's adding fuel to the fire. I have two young children and a husband who doesn't get it.
54 Responses
5783082 tn?1374177161
Hey, I'm day 4 with no suboxone from my taper, and I'm a mom of two, so I can definitely relate, my husband "gets it", because I showed him this: https://www.google.com/webhp?sourceid=chrome-instant&rlz=1C1CHWA_enUS635US635&ion=1&espv=2&ie=UTF-8#q=suboxone%20withdrawal%20symptoms
and let him talk to my doctor, who explained that opiate withdrawal really *****! My doctor suggested a few things to help with symptoms. An amino acid called L-tyrosine, which is found in bananas, meat, cheese, etc. or buy at a health food store and it's what your body needs to make the "feel good" chemicals. If I could only afford one thing, it would be the L-tyrosine! I can tell a difference when I take it, then go running. Also, excercise boosts your brain to make those feel good chemicals that your body has forgotten to make because the opiate did it's job. Multivitamin, anything with potassium, magnesium, iron and zinc help with restless legs.

I will say, comparing my experience from coming off of stuff on the streets and coming off of a good taper, a lot of the symptoms are in my head! I psych myself out so much fearing the symptoms, but when I calm down, live in the moment, I realize I really don't feel as bad as I thought. My sponsor has always told me "Sometimes instead of taking one day at a time, you really have to take it one minute at a time", and when detoxing, I try to remember that. Anyone can do anything for just one minute! Keep it up, you can do this! You dropped down way lower than I did before making the jump, so I imagine you'll do just fine ;) Praying for ya, you will look back and it will all be worth it!

Here's where I get my l-tyrosine, since I saw you asked where to get some supplements. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00DR28E74/ref=sr_ph?ie=UTF8&qid=1442685153&sr=1&keywords=l-tyrosine  
4522800 tn?1470325834
Welcome Back Smalltownmom!
I am going to bump this up for others to catch too!

I did not taper off Subs but I did Methadone that was prescribed for pain. But then I still jumped at a high does too. It has been 3yrs and I can not remember it all that I used to help. I do know that the Magnesium, Potassium, Calcium and Ds really helped later with my Anxiety and Sleep. To this day I will take the Magnesium and D oil and it calms me down at night for sleep.
Just make sure YOU drink TONS of Water or Healthy Fluids. Since you did a Taper (which we are not aloud to give u a taper schedule, as this is done by the Dr) you should not have it that bad. It just takes Time and Patience for all those Brain Chems to balance back, meanwhile the body will adjust back too. Try to Eat very Healthy right now. You want to replenish back all the Vit/Min and Electrolytes that you might have lost during using.
You can find some less expensive things at the store. Like Emergen-C has some great powder compos out here. They have Immune Support, Electro-Mix, Complex Bs, Cs and so forth. I used to pick up mine from a great natural plant based source. Well these work too! Ha!

I do wish you the best.
Keep checking in, as You know we come & go!
Avatar universal
First, congrats on getting down to .5  That's a major accomplishment.  Here's a website that will help you


I tapered down to .25.  The withdrawals were 'moderate'.  They lasted about a week.  Then I had the low energy/depression stage.  That was hard for about a month.  After the second month I was pretty much good to go.  I don't mean I was completely back to normal but I was close enough that I could get on with daily living.

Ive been at this for about 15 years, with the last 5 seriously desiring to quit.  Its hard to do, because the benefits are for the most part in the future.  All of us that have crossed the bridge are happy about quitting because we are reaping the benefits of quitting.  I know its damn hard, but if you can bite the bullet and get through this first couple weeks, then you can kind of catch your breath and get through the next month of having no energy.  After that, you are pretty much good to go.  All those negatives about our abuse are gone.  No dealers not showing up, no arterial bleeding of money and no WDs when we run out.  No worrying about how are we going to get through that vacation without meds.  All of it, gone!

One thing that's extremely important to remember is that we've changed our brain chemistry in a way that will make us forever be susceptible to that high.  For the most part, we can simply NEVER take opiates again.  There are some surgeries that make that impossible but there are ways to give yourself a fighting chance.  I'm having knee surgery next week.  I told my doc about my 'issues' with opiates.  I'm not afraid of them; if I need them I'll deal with it but I've made sure my doc knows so we can be a team to deal with my susceptability to opiate abuse.  My point is that we need to be on-guard for the rest of our lives.  We can never let down.

My Suboxone resume:  Used for two years.  The first year I bought them off the street.  When I found out how hard it can be to quit them I enrolled in an out-patient rehab.  I spent a year there.  I tapered down to .25mg over 6 months.  When I was going through WDs, I thought maybe I should have gone down to .125mg.  I continued in rehab for two months after I quit.  It seemed like the right thing to do.  Most people start up right after quitting  :-))
But after two months they told me I need to 'cut the apron strings'.  I had to go.  It's been 7 months now.  I have no cravings and life is normal again.
Avatar universal
And if you want to scream then do it. Get it out. Why not??? It'll only do you good. You almost through it. You are doing great!!!
15206917 tn?1441190409
I worry about making comments on other drugs because I've only used hydrocodine and tramadol. I guess it's all drugs when it boils down to it and support is the key.
Keep up the good fight,  it's all worth the few months of suffering just to have the rest of our life's back
Avatar universal
Yes that's what my do.lc is basically doing. He knows I can do it. I think he knows best. I just have this fear. Like everyone. I appreciate the words of encouragement as my family doesn't really understand and think I'm exaggerating. That is frustrating in itself. I know I put myself here. No one else. But hearing oh you're fine all the time makes me want to scream. I think it's their acceptance of my actual problem. And my poor children are the ones suffering with a "sick" mom all the time. I know it's a blessing in desguuse for me right now as I just can't even imagine what feeling normal is like anymore. My fears are conquering me that I'm perminantly going to be this way. Coming on beat and reading makes it so much easier but tougher. I wish I could push a fast forward button... Ty
Avatar universal
Do you know where to get all the vitamins and weird herbs I've never heard of and is it worth the $? I have read in a few different forums of these items but have no clue where to begin. Imodium and emergen-c I know my pharmacy carries, but have you heard of the rest of the things? I'm clueless.
4522800 tn?1470325834
Hi Again.

Sorry no one had caught this. Most of us do many different things. You can find the less expensive at Walmart or any Grocery Store. The Health food store can also help if you tell them what you are going through. Amino-Acids are good too! These are all the Vit..Ls a-v. The bottle will say Protien on the front or Complex Amino.

The main thing that I use NOW to calm me a bit and use before Bed is my Relax-Meg (magnesium) and D3 in a oil. There are TONS of good ones. It all depends on what one may afford. There is a company that is called Wellness Resources. I am also lucky up here because we make Thorn products. And another good one that has been pushed around here is the Protein Powder. You can add some Berries or any Fruit and make a Healthy Shake. This way you get some good Vit/min too. Best way is to EAT HEALTHY too!

I Wish EvolverU, Weaver, Clean-in-Ks would pop in. They are the ones that taught me a lot on this too!

Keep checking back..It seems to be slow right now.
Hoping others will chime in here with their own Experiences on what they had used and still use as far as Vit/Min go.
Avatar universal
I can relate to that fear.  The fear that I'm never going to be OK.  It's not a rational fear though.  You and I have both read story after story of people who got their "normal" lives back.  It's by far the most likely outcome, virtually assured.  Keep posting and keep the faith!  We'll be here to help you in any way we can
Avatar universal
How much Suboxone do you have left?  When is the doctor appointment?
Avatar universal
Cal/may/zinc is cheap at Walmart,
Protein shake or amino acids
Fish oil or Omega fatty acids
B vitamins

Those are the things our brain is made of and use to function, so they help with healing and some symptoms. They were worth it to me. Part of recovery is forming new habits, like eating good and exercise. It doesn't happen fast, but nothing that lasts usually does. Keep active as you can, at least enough to get your heart rate above a resting state. Drink tons of water and keep your mind on anything but how you feel. Meditating on music is often helpful. Hug your kids a lot, that was huge for me.

no matter how bad it feels, remember that it's worth it. You can ask my kids today if it was worth me being out of it to detox. They say, "you listen better and are more fun, yes, it was totally worth it to have the real you back." That's the good stuff, it took a long time for me, but the worst of it is worth it. My wife totally forgives me for everything, even the deception and all. It has become obvious I am the real me. I'm not happy all the time, I still want to scream sometimes. I'm actually miserable right now. You know what? Instead of take drugs, I just scream, cry, let my self be angry. I now know all things pass, good and bad. In turn, I laugh, get excited, and allow myself to be genuinely happy. I feel it all, those are the terms of this life. I don't get to be happy if I'm never sad, that's something I forgot on drugs. I don't get to be energetic if I don't get tired, or feel tranquil if I don't feel angry.

Balance is the key, and that took some serious getting used to. Youre doing great, you're doing the right thing, just hang in there. It keeps getting better and better, even after 3 years. I don't think it ever ends, so long as I keep working on being a better person and feeling better, I will keep being a better person and feeling better. That was hard to grasp for a long time, but it eventually came natural to me. The journey is the destination, so never stop growing.
Avatar universal
Oh, EmergenC is an electrolyte drink with the B vitamins. It's in packets at many stores, definitely helps many of us. Good nutrient as well as helps the water go down easy. Just wanted to add that.
Avatar universal
I want to thank all of you that posted for me. Day two with nothing. I'm very emotional. I cry over the stupidest things. My kids think I'm crazy. I can't control it. Anyways I don't feal as bad as I thought I was going to. The only thing I managed to grab was a multivitamin. I don't drive and haven't been able to convince the hubby I need to go to a gnc. He thinks I'm just fine because I'm doing laundry. Ugh so frustrating! He doesn't want to admit I had a problem and won't submit to the stereo type I might receive if it was ever said out loud "hey, that's the mother that had the drug problem" I would pull his family's last name through the mud as they own half my town. I'm doing my best to pretend I'm perfect. It's sad really. As I said before thank you to all that posted. I will keep it up. I know it's my time. I'll let you know how it's going.
Avatar universal
Oh and one more thing. I decided not to go to my last suboxone doc appt tomorrow. I know if I got he may offer two more weeks. I'm alset! I'm going to call and say tell him thanks for everything. I jumped!!!!
Avatar universal
Oh and one more thing. Is my eye sight supposed to be all fuzzy or do I just need glasses in my old age?
Avatar universal
Hey can you read my posts? I haven't gotten any responses and I need someone to take to
Avatar universal
Bump to top for ppl who have posted!!

Hang in there sweetie,it will get better. Yes my eyes fuzzy too for a long time,but keep a watch out and get them checked if worsen.
Avatar universal
Hey hun you can always try posting another "question" it's just quiet right now and hopefully someone will answer you soon. I detoxed off oxycdone not the subs. But you sound like you're doing good for the past couple days. Ppl with more knowledge of the subs will be here soon.
Avatar universal
Thank you. I thought there was something wrong with my vision. My mom is bringing me emergenc and Imodium. I'm clearly into wds now. Years of opiates to clear my system of. I know it'll be a long hard battle but thanks to all the positive energy on here I know I can do this. Ty!
Avatar universal
Oh and I thought I read somewhere about only keeping one thread??
Avatar universal
It's easier for ppl to identify you if you keep the same post,but I see you've been trying to post since the 20th with no response. so just give a quick rundown in your new post if you start one. Yes,it is hard work,but so worth it! Imodium is a good thing to have on hand. Drink lots of fluids though. You don't want to dehydrate
Avatar universal
How are you doing with sleep and rls? Anxiety deppresion?
Avatar universal
Hi my mom just left. She's the best. Sleep I take trazadone. Been on that for years. Although I did wake up last night at two then five and couldn't go back to sleep. Had that yucky skin crawling feeling and my legs started to get restless. I think I'm in for it tonight tho. I'm trying to keep it off my mind but I feel like I'm in a fun house. Everything I look at seems to be distortated and its leading to anxiety. I have diagnosed panic disorder so I kinda know how to breath through it. But it's getting hard. I am prescribed Ativan but where I've been weaning all month I blew through them like a dumb dumb. Can't get a refill til next week. My doc has also given me gabapentin and that helps a bit. But I take more than prescribed. I just can't have pills near me! I seem to have a side of my brain that talks me I to things. I'm wondering if I have an evil being on my shoulder sometimes. Thank you for posting to me. I did post two new questions if you happen to see them as well.
Avatar universal
You do have an evil being on your shoulder love,we all do!! It's called addiction. I wonder if it's the gab that's making you feel funny in the head with the eye problems? I'm going to look it up because I know ppl here have taken it and had some side effects. Make sure you have a hot bath with Epsom salts before bed. It will help the rls,also wrap your legs in a warm blankets or a warm been bag or hot water bottle. Also helps rls.
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