Aa
I never learn
I went to the dr last Monday. Got 90 hydrocodones and they're all gone. Already. Why do I allow them to give me the meds? Why am I not strong enough to say no?
So it's great to hear you're taking your Xanax as prescribed!! Please, no matter what don't stray from that. You have the perfect opportunity with a new doctor to get all this cleared up. As for your abusive relationship, if you and your daughter are safe, then maybe for now you need to stay in it while putting plans in place.
,
I would come totally clean with your doctor. He can determine, if you're totally honest, whether you are truly addicted, have hyperalgesia (increased pain from the pills) or pseudo addiction. Pseudo addiction isn't all that common but it can happen. It's when people look and behave like they're addicted but it's actually just that their pain is not well controlled. I'm not sure what your pain issues are but I have several and I know how hard it is to live with severe chronic pain.
You will be doing yourself the biggest favor of your life by meeting with your doctor and being honest with him about everything. That way he can decide what's best for you to do as to your pain. He may have other pain meds that would work better, maybe a long acting med. Or he may suggest taking something like Cymbalta that can help with pain.
What you don't want to do is lose this doctor. Talk to him about other things that may help with your pain. There is such a long list of things that can work in conjunction with your medications: hydrotherapy, PT, many different procedures, etc.
Personally, I think your living situation is a big factor in you misusing your meds. Maybe you're not ready to leave now but you need to start planning things now. Do you work? I know most people are hurting financially with the economy. But even if you have limited funds, there are ways to squirrel away money. It can take a little time but you need to do it for the safety for yourself and your daughter.
I found a great way to save money when money was tight. My goal was a trip to Disney with my kids. I would watch the sales at the supermarkets and my pharmacy. I'd use my rewards card and coupons and whatever I saved by doing that, I put away. Some weeks it might be $10, other times it could be $60.
CVS rewards' card is a place you can save a lot of money. Last week I got a total of $78 in cash back rewards. Granted you have to use it at CVS but
,
I would come totally clean with your doctor. He can determine, if you're totally honest, whether you are truly addicted, have hyperalgesia (increased pain from the pills) or pseudo addiction. Pseudo addiction isn't all that common but it can happen. It's when people look and behave like they're addicted but it's actually just that their pain is not well controlled. I'm not sure what your pain issues are but I have several and I know how hard it is to live with severe chronic pain.
You will be doing yourself the biggest favor of your life by meeting with your doctor and being honest with him about everything. That way he can decide what's best for you to do as to your pain. He may have other pain meds that would work better, maybe a long acting med. Or he may suggest taking something like Cymbalta that can help with pain.
What you don't want to do is lose this doctor. Talk to him about other things that may help with your pain. There is such a long list of things that can work in conjunction with your medications: hydrotherapy, PT, many different procedures, etc.
Personally, I think your living situation is a big factor in you misusing your meds. Maybe you're not ready to leave now but you need to start planning things now. Do you work? I know most people are hurting financially with the economy. But even if you have limited funds, there are ways to squirrel away money. It can take a little time but you need to do it for the safety for yourself and your daughter.
I found a great way to save money when money was tight. My goal was a trip to Disney with my kids. I would watch the sales at the supermarkets and my pharmacy. I'd use my rewards card and coupons and whatever I saved by doing that, I put away. Some weeks it might be $10, other times it could be $60.
CVS rewards' card is a place you can save a lot of money. Last week I got a total of $78 in cash back rewards. Granted you have to use it at CVS but
You have a new doctor. That is terrific. You must know that it can be very difficult to find a good doctor to manage your pain. If you aren't totally honest with him, something will happen and you'll be dismissed from his practice.
As to the Xanax, if you take it as prescribed, then maybe you can work on one medication at a time. But you need to be fully committed to this. It is not easy and it can be very frightening, especially if you have pain. I'm sure you have already heard that pain meds can actually cause more pain; it's called hyperalgesia. And when you come off pain meds, you will have rebound pain that will feel much worse but that is only temporary. Eventually you will be able to find out what your real pain level is and you can go from there.
Please call your new doctor and set up an appointment and explain to him what's going on. It will be a huge relief to you. You and he can work out what the best plan is for you whether it's staying on your meds, tapering off, or trying something else. Pain management normally involves more than just taking pills. There's PT, OT, acupuncture ... the list goes on.
The way I see it is you have been very lucky in finding this doctor. If you mess this up, you may not be able to find another doctor to treat you.
As far as your abusive relationship, you obviously will have to deal with that at some point. But if you're safe right now, then maybe for you it's better to just put that on hold for the moment. If he's physically abusive, you need to have a plan in place in case things escalate and you need to get out of there. Do you have a friend you could stay with in an emergency?
Once you take care of either getting off your pain meds or taking them responsibly under your doctor's supervision, your head will be a bit clearer and then you can look at your relationship and make whatever decision is necessary. I stayed in an abusive marriage for far too long. I tried to leave a bunch of times but would always let him come back when he promised he'd change. But you know, like I knew, that people rarely change. You can only change you and what you'll tolerate. I can tell you that when I finally left my ex for good, it was a huge weight off my shoulders. I'm sure a lot of your anxiety comes from being in an abusive relationship. I was constantly on edge and worried and always trying to shield my kids from what was going on. I couldn't believe the relief I felt when I finally did leave.
But first things first and that's to come clean to your doctor and come up with a plan that works for you.
As to the Xanax, if you take it as prescribed, then maybe you can work on one medication at a time. But you need to be fully committed to this. It is not easy and it can be very frightening, especially if you have pain. I'm sure you have already heard that pain meds can actually cause more pain; it's called hyperalgesia. And when you come off pain meds, you will have rebound pain that will feel much worse but that is only temporary. Eventually you will be able to find out what your real pain level is and you can go from there.
Please call your new doctor and set up an appointment and explain to him what's going on. It will be a huge relief to you. You and he can work out what the best plan is for you whether it's staying on your meds, tapering off, or trying something else. Pain management normally involves more than just taking pills. There's PT, OT, acupuncture ... the list goes on.
The way I see it is you have been very lucky in finding this doctor. If you mess this up, you may not be able to find another doctor to treat you.
As far as your abusive relationship, you obviously will have to deal with that at some point. But if you're safe right now, then maybe for you it's better to just put that on hold for the moment. If he's physically abusive, you need to have a plan in place in case things escalate and you need to get out of there. Do you have a friend you could stay with in an emergency?
Once you take care of either getting off your pain meds or taking them responsibly under your doctor's supervision, your head will be a bit clearer and then you can look at your relationship and make whatever decision is necessary. I stayed in an abusive marriage for far too long. I tried to leave a bunch of times but would always let him come back when he promised he'd change. But you know, like I knew, that people rarely change. You can only change you and what you'll tolerate. I can tell you that when I finally left my ex for good, it was a huge weight off my shoulders. I'm sure a lot of your anxiety comes from being in an abusive relationship. I was constantly on edge and worried and always trying to shield my kids from what was going on. I couldn't believe the relief I felt when I finally did leave.
But first things first and that's to come clean to your doctor and come up with a plan that works for you.
I'm taking the Xanax as I should. I'm on track with those. I took my last dose of hydro on Sunday. Right now I just feel very achy. I was only on them a week before they were gone. I went 2 wks without taking one and then when I walked in the dr office he said he'd give me the script, I just couldn't say no! I truly thought it would be where if I needed it, I'd take it. If I didn't I wouldn't. But that's not how it went.... I knew better. I am in a terrible marriage right now and I honestly feel I need the Xanax. I just can't deal with things without it. I have to figure that out on my own. I live in a small town and I e checked around and I don't know of any NA meetings going on. My husband doesn't even know of my situation. I can't tell him. He's abusive enough. So... I'm stuck. I don't make enough money to support myself and my daughter. I don't have family around who will take us in. So... I'm working on one thing at a time....
I went to a new dr. He refilled the Xanax, which I feel I need right now bc of a verbally/mentally abusive husband. (No lectures please, I'm trying to get out if it)... Anyway...he refilled everything after talking to him. I want to tell him I don't want the pain meds but my body hurts so bad without them!!!
I looked back to check and I did somewhat follow what was going on with you. What's going on with your Xanax? Are you taking that properly? I hope you have someone helping you with that as you already know it's dangerous to CT from that.
Is the doctor who is giving you the hydrocodone the same one that is prescribing Xanax? I feel really bad for you because it's like you're a hamster on a wheel, constantly running and running and running yet never moving from that space you're in.
It's time for some real honesty and the first person you need to be honest with is yourself. Look in the mirror and really take your own inventory. You know you aren't doing all you can to stay off the pills. You need more than just the forum for support. This is a fabulous place for getting support but it needs to be in conjunction with some aftercare in real life.
Have you been honest with your doctor? If not, you need to be. He can help you and has heard it all before. I think I remember you had some legitimate pain issues but can't remember what they are. Pain management is just that: management. Most chronic pain patients will never be pain free.
I taper off my meds whenever I can but sometimes I do have to take them. If you really do need narcotic pain meds for your condition, there are ways to work it so that you stay on track. You can give them to someone to dole out to you or your doctor can give you a week's supply at a time. There are many things to help with managing your pain and most CP patients use several modalities. I use ibuprofen, Lidoderm patches, Voltaren gel, heat, ice, exercise and more.
You are getting great advice here from people who have successfully stayed off their DOC. You can do that as well. Listen to the people who've done this successfully. Aftercare is tremendously important.
How are you feeling today being out of the hydrocodone? What are you going to do differently this time? Do you have a counselor? If you go to AA or NA, get a sponsor and they will help you when you're having a tough time.
You can definitely do this but you have to start by being seriously honest with yourself and your physicians and hopefully your family. The more people you tell, the more support you'll have.
Is the doctor who is giving you the hydrocodone the same one that is prescribing Xanax? I feel really bad for you because it's like you're a hamster on a wheel, constantly running and running and running yet never moving from that space you're in.
It's time for some real honesty and the first person you need to be honest with is yourself. Look in the mirror and really take your own inventory. You know you aren't doing all you can to stay off the pills. You need more than just the forum for support. This is a fabulous place for getting support but it needs to be in conjunction with some aftercare in real life.
Have you been honest with your doctor? If not, you need to be. He can help you and has heard it all before. I think I remember you had some legitimate pain issues but can't remember what they are. Pain management is just that: management. Most chronic pain patients will never be pain free.
I taper off my meds whenever I can but sometimes I do have to take them. If you really do need narcotic pain meds for your condition, there are ways to work it so that you stay on track. You can give them to someone to dole out to you or your doctor can give you a week's supply at a time. There are many things to help with managing your pain and most CP patients use several modalities. I use ibuprofen, Lidoderm patches, Voltaren gel, heat, ice, exercise and more.
You are getting great advice here from people who have successfully stayed off their DOC. You can do that as well. Listen to the people who've done this successfully. Aftercare is tremendously important.
How are you feeling today being out of the hydrocodone? What are you going to do differently this time? Do you have a counselor? If you go to AA or NA, get a sponsor and they will help you when you're having a tough time.
You can definitely do this but you have to start by being seriously honest with yourself and your physicians and hopefully your family. The more people you tell, the more support you'll have.
I second what was said above, in both posts. You never DID give us a follow up about your situation with the benzos? If I recall, you got one more script to taper right? Have you done that, or have you taken more than prescribed? What's going on with that?
As for the hydros, you're stuck on the merry go round. Something has to change for REAL progress to happen. One of the biggest things is sources. Like you said, you haven't told your doctor or pharmacy. It's not easy, but it's crucial. If you continue on without "coming clean" to your doctor(s), you will struggle with staying clean. That has to be step one before you even START thinking about the rest of what needs to happen in your recovery.
Have you ever considered inpatient rehab? That would be a good option for you, especially because you are dealing with multiple meds.
Best to you!
As for the hydros, you're stuck on the merry go round. Something has to change for REAL progress to happen. One of the biggest things is sources. Like you said, you haven't told your doctor or pharmacy. It's not easy, but it's crucial. If you continue on without "coming clean" to your doctor(s), you will struggle with staying clean. That has to be step one before you even START thinking about the rest of what needs to happen in your recovery.
Have you ever considered inpatient rehab? That would be a good option for you, especially because you are dealing with multiple meds.
Best to you!
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