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538390 tn?1213976911

I relapsed

So I was well on my way of day 2.... and I relapsed. I couldn't even make it 2 whole days!!  I have more... help me. Should I take what I have and taper ... will it make it easier?
Should I throw them away?  I dont know if I can!!  This is awful.
23 Responses
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518798 tn?1295212279
Hope your day is going good.

Susan
Helpful - 0
501205 tn?1227345442
I am also pretty late in posting but was wondering how you are doing since you flushed them.  Did you flush all of them? I think you should.  I know it *****.  I basically did the same thing two days ago and now I am on Day 2 ct.  You can do this.  I know how hard it is but it seems like you will feel better ifyou do.
Helpful - 0
460948 tn?1232302122
I'm late replying to you but I'm very proud of you for flushing the pills!! Great Job!!

Now just keep looking forward and keep posting! How are you doing today? Just remember you only hit a bump in the road so really you had 2 days behind and then a bump, but today you're back on track!!

Let us know how you're doing and if you need anything! I will pray for you!
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Don't beat yourself up....and we won't give up on you....we don't want you to give up either. Please keep posting as much as you need to! This is do-able and you can do it. It's hard....but you can beat it!
Helpful - 0
518798 tn?1295212279
One word of advice.  Please keep posting on this forum.  If I hadn't found this place, I don't think I could have done it.  I have become close to people on here and believe it or not, even though we are basically strangers, I don't want to let them down.  It also gives you someone to be accountable to.

You can do this.  Flushing those pills shows that you are stronger than you think.

Good Luck and Keep in touch
Susan
Helpful - 0
539990 tn?1219474755
Day 4 and most lousy symptoms are gone....still craving like mad....only a little stomache ache and a little diahrea left....energy levels coming back, I'm hungry...brain less fuzzy...but why does 3 more days seem like forever?
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Great job, you can do this, one day at a time. Don't look back
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
wow...what a great big step in the right direction!...now u can move forward
Helpful - 0
538390 tn?1213976911
HaHa Thank you guys. I've just flushed 12 pills down my toilet.  So tomorrow, I start all over again. Hopefully no more relapses. Thank you all for sticking with me. It's so much nicer to have people who understand.
Helpful - 0
480035 tn?1222366164
your definately not a loser. losers are the ones who dont try. at least your trying. i'm sorry its not as easy as just not taking anymore. but then again it really is. when your ready you will, so get ready ok.
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
WannaBe,

Take my advice and just cold turkey it now.
A little over a year and the amount you were taking is minor compared to many of us.

So, I'm thinking after going thru w/d it may not be too bad.
Just suck it up and figure the next week you're gonna have the "flu".

We've all had that "flu" and it's bad. but it does get better.

Good luck to you.

(And, I just wanted to say that you're name will be even more appropriate if you keep using because you will lose so much of "yourself" in time. SO much)
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
agree with lady...u are not done til u throw in the towel and quit trying
Helpful - 0
518798 tn?1295212279
No one is going to give up on you.  I always use the analogy of riding a bike to the process of getting clean.  You don't always learn the first try.  You fall off the bike and get back up and try again.  You don't fail until you stop trying.

Good Luck Wanna Be
Susan
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
I sent u a pm...think hard about what u want
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
we wont...believe me u r not the first and wont be the last who didnt go totally clean on the very first.try...give urself a break even if this was not ur first try......i would reccomend flushing those pills...i would...why hang on to them?  it is admitting that u may need them if u do...there is a sense of freedom that is very encouraging to take the power over those pills and let them go...it kinda shows who is boss,,,who has the pwoer...u do...let them go....it is hard to be successful with them in ur house or anywhere easy to get...LET THEM GO!
Helpful - 0
538390 tn?1213976911
Y'all please dont give up on me yet. I really do want to stop. I know i fkd up... but... please believe that this isn't what I want. I just.... well, i dont know. Just dont give up on me. :)
Helpful - 0
538390 tn?1213976911
I want to thank all of you for giving me your support. Honestly I wish that I was sitting here feeling like ****, and letting another day of sobriety pass leading me to be myself again... But that isn't the case. I'm sitting here right now feeling what has become "normal" to me. So... I'm going to try my hardest to talk myself into flushing what I have.... instead of holding on to them like they are gold.I felt so bad having to admit to you guys, my new friends, that I had relapsed.
I honestly dont know what I am going to do yet.... as far as tomorrow goes. But... it will be another day...  
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
Withdrawal *****, really badly and sometimes making yourself deal with it is the best thing to keep from doing it again.  Tapering is always so tricky because you can always find an excuse to take another one that way.  Have you thought about any alternatives like suboxone or something to help you?  That helped my husband get clean and stay clean for 3 years now.  I would only advise taking that as a short term to get through the wd's and stay active, don't allow yourself to think about the drugs when you do find anyting to do, tear paper, make a list of why you don't want to take them etc.  Getting off of opiated is one of the hardest things in the world and you have to be ready and willing to do what it takes.  Can you go to any type of counseling?  That helps.  
Helpful - 0
401095 tn?1351391770
if u have been clean for 2 days and used once...a taper is kind of silly....if u relapsed for a week or so...then a taper may help....if u can not taper alone then get someone u trust to hold ur pills...if u can not do this than just CT...ur dose is not high...u will be ok in less than a week physically...the mental part is ongoing tho...the energy and such...lasted close to 4 months for me...and i still crave ...get thru the detox...and take it one day at a time...it has to come from deep inside....u have to be sick and tired of being sick and tired...and even then ur brain will play trix on u down the road...there is no miracle cure....no miracle drug to take for a couple of months to make craving and relapse away....u just have to want it
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
You are not a loser.  This addiction plays real heavy mind games.  Toss them out and say this is it, no more and i want my life back.  We are here to help you.  sara
Helpful - 0
538390 tn?1213976911
I was taking 6, 10mg hydrocodone per day. sometimes 5 depending on the brand. I've mentioned previously that i have always been very cautious of the amount of tylenol i consume in 24 hours and never exceed 4000mg. ... but i've been taking SOMEthing for over a year. it's been everyday for a month or so now..... I used to be able to go a few days or a week without anything... but this is rediculous. I just took another one when i signed off of here.... so now i've taken 2 today.... better than 6 I guess..... I juts dont know. I can't help but to feel like a loser.
Helpful - 0
495284 tn?1333894042
COMMUNITY LEADER
I went c/t.  Wanted it over all at once and i didnt have the willpower to taper.  Was not easy but oh so worth it.  You can do this.  Keep posting and read.  We are here for you.     sara
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
What were you taking and how much? how long?
This will not be a walk in the park, but you can do it. need more info.
You can do this, others will come on and help later.
Let us know, and good luck! Keep posting.
Helpful - 0
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495284 tn?1333894042
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