I too have a story

[heroinaddictsmom]

Hello some of you know me as Alex's mom.................but my name is Patty and i came here for my son........Alex is in rehab  for the 2nd time and also at age 20 has tried so many times to get off herion and the methadone clinic was the worst choice made to get off herion.............also subutex and suboxone didn't help alex but i know if used with a dr and the right way it has help many..............anyways alex has been in rehab about 20 days and doing great.......i got to see him on fathers day and him and my husband are now starting to heal.............on that day alex ask me all about my problem......he knows i was a meth addict up until he was 13 or 14 and he wanted to know my story............so when he gets out we are going to na together.............i quit on my own and it was very hard but not as hard as the fight alex has........herion is beyond way beyond the addiction of meth..................but i just thought maybe my story might help someone....................i was 16 when i first used speed..being a hyper-add ....child it really help me focus and come out of my shell..........lol..........i liked it............i used it off and on many yrs............than at age 25 got married and decided to have kids i quit all drugs and did the healthy thing........and at age 30 had 3 wonderful kids a full time job and a big house...........my husband and i got into using what in the 80;s was called GO and it did it was crystal meth and it took a real bad hold on me...............from that time i thought i could be team mom room mom teach ccd at church and girl scout leader............all on speed........i think back and i get sick......................i thought i could clean and cook and work and do it all ........but my life was OUT of control and my house was a disaster and my kids were neglected ( some really bad things happened but i am to ashamed to even say) my dad got sick and my mom and sisters and brothers need my help..........i did the night shift with my day at my mom and dads home............my mom was weak and my dad was dying so i stayed up all night with him and than went to work the next day all on speed....................my dad died and i wanted to quit but at his funeral my connection brought my allitlle baggie and i couldn't say no.............i was soo hooked..........than my mom got sick and passed and i didn't want her in heaven looking at me doing my lines...................the thinking of an meth addict is so screwed up.......................i seen things so outrages it is sick to me now............i would see people in the fields in the middle of the night walking around spying on me.................so than i knew i was bad................so one day 2001 on memorial day that was it i had to quit and i sleep for days told everyone i had the flu........that was the easy part.............the cravings and the thinking was the worst so i occupied my life one minute at a time .......i kept giving my self things to do and i am still doing that to this day..........i got my job back in 2002 and i am running a dept........i tell my story to those that need to hear it but most people in my community and small town have no idea.........but the might now that i have told alex i will go to na and i will tell my story and i will do what ever it takes to save my BABY BOY ALEX'S LIFE................God bless you all and this sight.............it has been a blessing for me this past month THANK YOU ONE AND ALL........................My name is Patty and i am and addict

[monkeyonmyback68]

Hi Patti thanks for sharing your story I am also a Addict My Doc is Percocet! god Bless you and your family!

[10356]

I do know what you mean by the lowest of the addicts as I too have spent a great deal of time with crank I shot it. Before crank I shot Heroin for a few years I was truly a junkie at that time in my life. I did not care.. I know what a long walk back it is into anything resembling a normal life.. Hold your head HIGH for you have overcome a truly devastating addiction and now are armed with knowledge to help your son.. Your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.. Lesa

[road2recovery]

I am glad u are here....i don't know if i should or not??  kind of a tough one...But if it would help in any way then i am 100% for it...But if it would hurt i don't know....
I am glad to hear it made you two closer, and the saying is no one can understand an addict like an addict.....I will let you know how it goes...Thanks so much for sharing and i know it was tough!!
stay strong
r2r

[heroinaddictsmom]

Thank you for your being supportive.......it was a hard thing for me to do............and like i said at first i regreted telling my kids..........from my oldest eric i felt he thought i was disgusting and my baby girl Katie seemed ashamed of me I was her girl-scout leader grow ing up..............But Alex really hated the whole idea of me being and addict at first and the idea it was meth was dirty like he says we are the lowest of addicts...........but just this week-end he made me feel glad that i told him and i am so proud of how far he has come..............he now excepts me for who i am and makes me feel more appart of his life than ever.............so the moral to my story is ........was it the right choice to come clean to my kids............not at first but time did tell and now i am sure i did the right thing..............Good luck on whatever you decide and keep in touch i will be here for awhile.............i need this place more than ever.....................Your friend Patty

[road2recovery]

Thank you Patty...I also have a daughter in rehab who is going to get out soon...She has no idea of my addiction ( to my knowledge) and i wasn't going to share that information with her...But i have been second guessing myself with that one, so I may change my mind when she gets out and tell her, and attend meetings with her...I will do anything to save her life...Thanks so much for sharing
r2r

[heroinaddictsmom]

Thanks Mike, I really appreciate the support.............i have read alot of your comments through out the month i have been here and i am contantly keeping you in my prayers.........i know you have had struggles and  truly believe all things happen for a reason and what we do with the wisdom and what we have learned and to share from our experiences are what is important now...............thank you for all your much wise advice..........Patty

[Mikeinthesouth]

you just gave me chills patty justy hearing bout ur boy as I have my girls and I am just getting off this junk and am fighting as you are. Thanks for the post patty. Don't sweat the things you said as I am most sure that we all I know for myself have done things we are not proud of in the least to get and maintain the dope.... Mike

[heroinaddictsmom]

Thank you soo much for sharing your story with me..................and yes i did let my kids know about my addiction and my other two could care less but alex did through it in my face many times being the addict he is and he also used it to manipulate a situation against me..........and my husband too was very upset that i told..........but kids aren't stupid and the knew and they seen things i really regret but to tell you the truth it was worth it to me to tell them because now they are all in there 20's and we can talk about anything and with alex it has been a blessing that i can share my story with him and that he WANTS me to go to na with him............i think it has brought us closer...............Good Luck Lonesome and you have a friend in me and all my prayer are with you................................Thank you again.............my name is Patty and i am an addict

[lady67]

Hugs~
Susan

[meg52080]

Thanks for sharing your story. . .I'm sure that there are those who will benefit from it. . . you and Alex are in my prayers.  Best of luck to you and yours. . . this forum has been a Godsend for me and many others.  I don't know that I would've been able to help myself if not for the good folks on here :)

[LONESOME]

Thank you,
And yes I'm glad to you are getting it together and yes make you choice about telling or not telling cause is easy for them when there in a situation like my son (addicts) to blame everyone but our selfs.
My son was a alchoolic when I was growing up and I had a horrible childhood but I have never ever blame my dad for been a alchoolic NEVER.
My mom died when I was 5 and now I starting to know a lot about her like she was addicted to smoking (it is a addiction right) not sure but anyways and she used to drink a lot too, also she had mental problems and depression I found that about her just a few years back and I don't blame her either.
How old is your child?

[joann1975]

Patti & Lonesome....thank you for sharing your stories...I have a young child... I am glad I have gotten/am getting my life straight while he is young.... you are brave strong women! Thank you!

[LONESOME]

Patty thanks for sharing I know is hard to admit we have a problem and you came ahead you have an advantage with your son and can be open about addiction and that is why he is in rehab cause your eyes are not shut so you don't let him get away with things, I have a son too he is 17 and I'm always blaming my self for his addiction he uses marijuana and has told me he also has tried xanax but the reason I blaime my self is bc in January I notice some one was stilling my lortabs from my purse so that some one of course was my son he was selling them at school to make money for his addiction to marijuana.
He was stilling about 30 pills a day and for a while I didn't really notice until one day the police got him ditching from school with other friends and they had all kinds of pills then one of the mother from the other kid that was cought came to my house screaming at me bc they knew that my son was the supplier.
I was so emberence me the soccer mon the middle class mercedes card driving car person I could be the cause of some kid dieying because my son sold them pills and they od or they mixed the wrong meds. I WANTED TO DIE really ans so I decided to stop using, I told my husband and my two girls and my son (even though he knew) about my addiction and I stopped.
Now my son has not stopped the use of marijuana and he has said to me a few time "you have no right to say nothing to me" and my husband says "I told you, you should have never told our son about your addictions cause they will throw it in you face every chance they have" I don't know if that is the case or not but I don't regret telling them about my addiction.

[bandnmom]

Patty...thank you for sharing your story. It takes alot of strenght and courage to put it all out there. I will be praying for you and your son.
oh and by the way....My name is Jenny and i am an addict

[confused456]

That is GREAT that you are going to go to NA together!!! Glad to hear that he is doing good and that you got to see him!!!! Wishing you all the best!