IM TRYING SO HARD....BUT????PLEASE HELP!

[my_sad_life]

I have been CLEAN OFF OF "STREET DRUGS" for  3yrs,now(HERION) but I am  on Methadone...I get take homes 3x a week so I am doing well,in thier eyes...I do not take pills ,or do drugs any more....BUT I have been putting off the FEAR OF ALL FEARS...."DETOXING"...I  really am sad.my life seems like im missing  something inside and I know I can't be happy until I  have get off of Methadone.
I am Scared....Of the PAin,and what it may do to my attitude,I  wrote a post a while back and a "DR" said to NOT WORRY about getting off RIGHT NOW...So I was so confused.I have some support with family and my boyfriend and many more.I  guess I am just asking  what the hell to do...When should I start,or should I? and How long 66mth.9mth/??/etc...I need help  I am lost I am always screaming when upset...and Being on methadone has taking away my personality,as well as my sex desires,and have gained almost 100 lbs.I HATE THE WAY I AM AND its all because I took the easy way out to kick herion,when I was only just DELAYING It.We all know methadone is just a sub.for  herion...and its just a excuse for me  to  not detox.
well...I WANT TO GET OFF AND JUST NEEDS FACTS ON WHAT TO DO AND WHAT TO EXPECT.OOOR  could I use my take homes to try do it myself////
I know this post is all mixed up,I also have adhd,add,and bi-polard and so much more fuc# things about me  going on.

ANYONE HAVE ANY ADVISE,or ways to help ID BE THANKFul/Thank you so  much....also...I HAVE A @YR.she the MOST IMPORTANT REASON TO  STOP.

[Jimmy1975]

Stay here with us , this is a great place for support !  I lost anther brother on the 11 August to abuse . Ready for this ? Lost a sister in 1989 , Lost a brother in 1999 and now another brother in 2009 !  Stay strong !  Jimmy

[buprenex]

personality,as well as my sex desires,and have gained almost 100 lbs.I HATE THE WAY I AM.

Methadone has done the same things to me. I do have some sex drive. I can not see your need to beat yourself up. Methadone decision has been made, perhaps you would do something different today. But I can only suggest the obvious. That is just deal with where you are. It is great to hear there is support around you. I do not have that. I think I could do this if I had that kind of support. You do have other complications so I do think you will need the RIGHT doctor to help you. Others think you will find this at your clinic, maybe, but if you have resources, try to find another doctor, perhaps that doctor will not belong to what others say is the problem with the clinics. They do not help you get off, rather want you to be a customer. Sad!

[avisg]

I hear the pain in your voice and if you want off then  thats what you should do of coruse you are going to have to taper yourself down.First off tell your doctor YOU ARE GOING TO TAPER OFF THE MEDS. Then ask him if he will give you a taper plan let him know one way or the other you are tapering off the methadone. We are hear to help

[IBKleen]

You need to calm down hun, you are right---you  are all over the place.

You have been on Methadone for 3 years? I can't figure out how much you are taking or if you have begun your taper.

My opinion: yes, you need to get off of it. Not only are you physically and mentally addicted to it, it is altering your brain chemistry and probably causing muscle problems. The weight gain in and of itself will lead to additional health problems down the road.

You are going to struggle trying this alone with your take homes. And if you slip up and take more, you risk getting thrown off of the program.

I have to suggest that you speak with your doctor at the clinic and tell him exactly what you told us. You want off! Talk to him about your fears, your over-all health, etc. Let him put you on a safe taper plan that will take you down slow enough that you won't be tempted to go off of the plan. Work with him as you decrease the dose and if you are having trouble, let him know.

I think for you that is a safe way to go.